I felt kind of misaligned in life lately. All the tests and all.
Saturday night I went clubbing. Clubbing in a straight club that is. There is a new club called Tatoo which was the old SOHO club in downtown LA. They reinvented it - which basically means changed the the decoration and the name in hopes of bringing people back to the same place. The clubbing plan was actually very spontaneous. I met this girl, let's call her L, in my strategy class group and for half of the semester we never talked till recently. 80% of the grade in this class is condensed into one month period so we started to have lots meetings together. From there we hit it off really well. We shared the same background and experiences. So she and her friends planned this clubbing thing and I tagged along.
The line in front of the club was phenomenal. There were literally 300-400 hundred people waiting outside at 10:30pm. There were about another 200-300 inside and it was only 10:30pm. I didn't get this... I mean this was not celebrity hoarding places like Hyde, Privilege or the currently hottest Winston's. Why the crowd? We missed our guest list time so we had to kiss up to the planner who apparently wasn't interested helping us at all. We were going to buy a table which would cost us 200 bucks for 4 people. We didn't feel like it because we didn't think that we would drink that much and it would be an utter waste of money for something like clubbing (that turned out to be a mistake). But another friend of ours worked her charm. Let's call her D. Even though D was in business school with us for the undergraduate program, her real goal was to do PR in the future. She must have been practicing her networking skill for a long time then, because apparently she knew every walking soul in that club. Very soon she worked us in. We became a part of some other people's table party and we got in just like that, in front the 300 other people who waited since 9:00pm. In our group there was a guy named C. C wasn't particular cute or super handsome but he was hot. His muscles were huge and proportional. I was feeling him up real good later that night since we were very wasted lol~~~~.....
Anyways, the club was good actually. I was surprised. It was dark but lit here and there with green and blue glows. In the center of the ceiling there was a gigantic disco ball. The floor plan was interesting as well. The overall feeling was very centered and the attention was directed toward the dance floor. There were four ceiling height palms trees at four corners which divided the club into two layers. If you passed the palm trees, you would have been in the chilling zone with bars at your reach. Inside the tree circle, there was the dance floor. At this level, there were two bars and upstairs there was the outside patio and another bar. Tables sections were nice. There were small tables scattered around the edge of the dance area, but the good ones
were in the outer layer. Those outer tables were the better ones and they all had this silk curtain kinda thing hanging over to somewhat hide what was going on inside. It was unique. But I didn't see too many people using those tables. My friend L had a bottle of wine by herself before we even came out and she didn't even look drunk. So now it was her second round. L, C, and I started with a round of Redbull and Vodka. I hated it. It was bitter. I didn't know why people like this shit. I wasn't a fan of Vodka already and the taste of Redbull was just horrible. But we finished it. Danced a little, like 10 mins and then chatted a little bit. Not quite feeling it so we went in for the second round. L had another Redbull Vodka and I and C got a shot of Patron. They were pretty generous. Tt was definitely a bit more than 1 shot which I wouldn't complain about haha. The heat was generating from there. We danced more and chatted more. Went upstairs and downstairs. It was pretty fun.
Then I found out something that was a bit disturbing. Well it was a nice thing for L and C but it shook me. You see L and C were both going to do investment banking which was my goal too. But then there was a year at USC I fucked up real bad due to a lot of issues including health problem and the gay thing. My grades were so low now that I wasn't even sure if I could secure a decent job compared to my peers. So I was chatting with C, and he told me that Bank of America was going to pay him 150k a year. I wasn't sure if that was for every year or what since 80k of the 150k was signing bonus. I wouldn't think that a firm would give you signing bonus every year. But that doesn't matter. That is 150k first year and 70k after. Plus, they would get raises. If I secure a decent position in one the well known accounting firms, that would only be 50k a year plus maybe 5k signing bonuses. The inequality was so staggering that I felt like a second-class citizen. Later L told me that she was getting paid the same in Morgan Stanley. I could only imagine how much another friend of mine would make in Goldman Sachs... We paid the same tuition and received the same experiences and how come I didn't end up there. Well I knew that if my grades were higher it would have been possible. But then I still felt that there was this huge discrepancy on pays that almost make some people's job or career look embarrassing.
But it was the party night I didn't give it too much thought then, it was just a quick flash calculation and I let it go at that moment to enjoy the night.
The night went on very well, L's other friend came in later. His name was J. J currently attended the same auditing class and he recognized me right away. The reason was--not so glamorous--that I was always late. beh..... ok that class was some bullshit though... But at least I was still going every single session -_-.... We danced more. We never stopped dancing actually. Our third round was Redbull and Vodka. You know by the 3rd round, Redbull and Vodka didn't taste so hideous. Then I had half of a Cranberry Juice and Vodka. It was GOOD. Cranberry blends with Vodka way better than Rebull. So I got two more Cranberry Juice and Vodka. Meanwhile, L would feed me Redbull and Vodka sips here and there. After the whole night I probably had about 6 drinks in 2 hours. I really am not a drinker, so I was at a good place. By the sixth drink, everything tasted so good I swore that I felt like I could drink another 3. But I didn't which was a good choice. Yeah, so I had 6 and L had 7, and C had 7. So that is 200 dollars ANYWAY. Should've just got a table -_-..... With a table we could have got another 10 drinks at discount! oh well.... We danced like crazy toward the last hour. Then we went to the patio to chill. The bartender looked at me and said no more for you and gave me water. No more for me my ass. I WAS THE ONE WHO DROVE. So I drank must have been a gallon of water. Then the club was closing so three of us wandered out of the club. L apparently was extremely drunk by now which was funny. She fell flat on her face and started to cry. So I sat down next to her and started to tickle her and then we all just laid on the ground and laughed. Oh yeah, of course I would lean on C whenever I got a chance and I would hit his chest whenever I could. OMG THOSE muscles. So I dropped C off at Orsini, and L lived in Piero. For those of you who might know LA downtown area, you would know that Orisni, Piero, and Club Soho were literally 3 blocks apart. They were like 1 mile distance within each other. LOL, so yeah that was why I drove! I am safe! hehehe.
Dropping off C made me feel a bit more disturbed. You see I used to live in Orsini. The year in Orsini was my toughest year in university. My health was bad and I fucked up. Wasted tons of money and didn't achieve a thing but fed my vanity. It was a hefty lesson to learn. I watched C walking in. I almost felt as if it was me. It could have been me you know. I almost saw myself walking as I watched C. I remembered me being that guy who lived in a lavish place full of pride and vanity. The only difference now was that I no longer live there and my future doesn't look as bright as his. Now mine was so uncertain that if there were an option on me, I would have short that option immediately. LA had a lot of wonderful moments for me but I do wonder, is it time for me to leave. Maybe I should go to another city to refresh my mind and start over in a sense. Regain my youth and passion.
After dropping C off I went to L's place and crashed on her sofa. Comfy... Obviously I passed out without knowing it. Hm.. that sounds weird because if I know I passed out that would be sleeping, passing out means without knowing right... anyways got to stop thinking aloud. J showed up later. L was talking to me then would talk to a 3rd person. In the beginning, I thought she was just so drunk that she wanted to play this imaginary friend game, but yeah.. it was J she was talking to. I guess I was drunker than I thought. So we started all moaning from the drunkenness and L started to cry about her legs again. She hurt herself pretty hard, the knee cap was swollen lol... L already knew that I was gay. I told her and she didn't get it in the beginning lol... I hate that because whenever I tell someone that I am gay they don't seem to get it the first round. She told J that was gay too which was cool. J used to date L and they were friends now. L's current BF was in San Francisco and that is where L heading after graduation for her 150k job lol. So we started to talk about jobs, cities, and being gay, straight, and sex with the drunkenness. It was good fun. Then we would pass out for 40 mins and all simultaneously woke up and make more noises. L cooked some great veggie soup before we went clubbing and now she heated it up again. It smelled soooo good. The potato cabbage carrot and onions were so tender soft and juicy and the soup was good too. Although the carrot wasn't the best thing since the smell of it made wanna puke but overall it was good stuff. I subsequently drank 6 more bowls of soup... yum....
Then we passed out again, by the time my consciousness woke me up at 8:30am and refused to put my mind back to sleep again, J was already gone. I walked out with messy hair, fucked up face and a cracking headache and headed back home. The freeway was bright and empty and the sound of my car on the freeway speeding was deafening loud. It was freaky. It felt like highway to heaven...
Next week, I will have to take care of my ticket thing. Man the official website is so misleading that I only paid my speeding ticket fine and failed to pay traffic school fine. Now I don't know what to do. The traffice school will cost me 200/month on my insurance if I fail to take care of it. The due date is next Tuesday I feel like I am fucked..... I really hope not. Fingers crossed. Also a big quiz tomorrow for my strategy class plus homework due for my derivative class. Why life has to be so life!
Sunday, April 01, 2007
I felt kind of misaligned in life lately. All the tests and all.