Monday, June 23, 2008

My future husband turned out to be straight

As I mentioned two posts ago, I met this super cool guy whom I fell for immediately is now confirmed to be straight.

As we planned before, we worked out today. He waved at me afar and we shook hand and got down to business. Today I got to know him a lot more and we chatted about everything. The more I talked to him the more I liked him. We talked about our love for the new BMW 335i and how we both wished to get one. He, I know for a fact, can afford one, but he said he wanted to save money and get a house first. Omg how sweet is that right?

He was just so cute today. But the truth has to come out and I confirmed the fact that I already knew. He has a blond girlfriend for two years already and his girlfriend is also in the architecture profession. I literally lost my focus when he was talking about his girlfriend. I put up this smile and tried not to sound disappointed. We moved on quickly onto other things. But deep down I was so sad.

I mean he is a completely stranger but he is one of those people just give you the "he is the one" type. I have never felt that for any other guys I have ever met. I don't I just got really depressed.

On the other note, I met up this guy I met online and I drove down to his place in Long Beach. We had sex for 3 and half hours. I mean of course the bulk of it wasn't anal sex but he did fuck a good half hour and toward the end I was literally begging him to cum because it was getting so rough and too long for my tastes. There was plenty kissing and cuddling, as well as blowing and fucking and I came twice. I also got three hickies, I know so juvenile...

It was a great release.

But it was fucking shitty because all I have left now is an empty space, I want a fucking husband, god damn it. Now I wish everyone was gay or I wasn't gay, this is so hard and so much work. My love life is literally like a craps shoot. I have yet seen a guy like this, so easy to talk to, so down to earth and so focused. He is also so well educated and smart and sooo manly.

Sigh, this really sucks. I mean the hours long session was a high point of my weekend but now it is as meaningless as a pile of poop.

Saturday, June 21, 2008

Get Smart

The movie is pretty awesome. It is stupid at times. You can feel that they are trying a bit too hard. But overall the movie has a good pace and Steve Carrell's style was nature in this movie. I laughed throughout the movie and there were parts that were extremely hilarious.

My friends and I watched the premier then headed to dinner and hookah. It is going to be in the theaters today, let's see how the box office will turn out. I hope it does well.

Tuesday, June 17, 2008


How can people be so different and the good ones never fall between my legs.

I talked to this guy, 6'6" online and his height is definitely the main attraction. I actually didn't really want to reply him for unknown reason but I started talking to him anyway. He messaged me last Friday and we kinda emailed on and off for three days till we texted and aim a lot today. He kept flirting and asking questions and I answered truthfully and calmly. I wasn't cold but definitely not overly excited either. I just feel that if you try too hard, nothing good comes along.

Anyways, he suggested to meet soon which I don't object but not too fond of it either. He insisted on meeting soon, such as, TODAY, even went as far as renting a room when he is talking about building up a relationship. Weird right? W/E I just kept talking in a very neutral manner and wait to see what comes out of this. I told him I wasn't going to rent a room which would be too much effort for a first time meeting each other. He kept saying babe com'on. At this point I should have figured he is crazy. Alas, stupid me right.

So eventually I told him, I would text him after I am done with gym around 830pm and if my phone doens't run out of battery then, I will definitely try to meet up, if it does I will make it another time.

Finished gym around 815pm and texted him at 825pm said

"You wanna meet up?"


1 minute passed and I was able to juggle my cellphone when I tried to drive out of the parking lot and typed,

"direction plz from Pasadena."

"ok then, good night.'



"You took too long to reply, so I am going to bed."

!!!!! looked at the text again.

All I wanted to say is "please put bipolar on your profile next time, so at least I would have some idea of what I am getting myself into."

I stopped texting him.

5 more text message followed,

"You never wanted to hang out anyway."

"Now you are ignoring me, gr8."

"Ok go to Mission Dr."

"Why aren't you answering."

"You wasted my time."

Now he just CALLED ME.

Thank god that I am getting my iphone soon so this number would leave me. He is really scaring me now.

now one more text

"Dude, what is your issue."

so I said the following,

"you really don't see how crazy you are? I was just gonna laugh it off, but it is getting annoying. Its my fault so for god's sake please stop texting or calling, this would my absolute last text. Thank u."

He replied more but this should be the end of it.


On the other hand, I saw this guy, 6', buff, cute buzzed blond hair, sweet sweet smile and a USC grad in architecture. He is a total jock type and he is smart. He offered to spot me while I was benching, so sweet. He just makes me go awwwww inside. I just had this HUGE crush on him that I could barely take my eyes off him. We chatted more for about another 30 mins on and off between sets of workouts. I suggested that working out together and now I got his number. I know he is not gay and all and this is definitely not healthy for me since I would develop more feelings for him once we start working out together regularly. But oh man... I suck...

Thursday, June 05, 2008

hnt - 5