Jesus....

Isn't he just hot. Abs like that... I wonder if I can ever get that with my life time worth of workout.

Talking about working out. I went to the gym again today, this is my 3rd day in the gym this week. I have been somewhat committed this week. Today was my cardio day and running 20 mins with jogging/sprinting combo was pretty good. Tough, since I haven't done this for a while, but good at the same time because it felt refreshing afterward.

Then the doctor showed up again. I have seen him a couple of times before and then due to my schedule I wasn't able to catch him for a while. Today I saw him again and I decided to talk to him more see if he is indeed gay. Unfortunately my gaydar was way off this time again. Even though he had the vibe but I guess it was just because he was a doctor and he really knew better than average guy at his age. He really has very nice abs and chest. Very nice ones. Despite the fact that I finally figured out his age -- a whooping 44!!! I knew he must has been into his late 30s and 40s despite the fact that he looked like he was still in his early 30s. We kept talking and he told me that he was going through a very costly divorce. You see he wasn't just any doctor' he was a doctor with his own clinic treating couples or singles with infertility issues. Apparently his business took off extremely well, 20 million revenue a year well that is. We talked about how growing up and marriage related to each other, how bad the taxes and social security have gotten, and how sad that when the marriage just wasn't working out for the rich people. Time passed by very fast when talking was involved. I did 25 mins on the elliptical like nothing. Even though I was drenching, I didn't really feel bad at all. This was after 25 mins of jogging/sprinting. Man, even though I can't get in between his legs, I should at least go do cardio with him... But yeah the conversation went on and on and I wad nodding and agreeing. I was like, Yeah hmm huh yes I was sure it was painful that you had to pay your wife 40k a month for alimony but there was no way in the world that I can remotely relate to that. I mean I could barely make 40k a year lol~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ But it was a good talk and my dream has been shattered. Not only he was going through divorce but also fathered TWO children. Insane... Well, still, I have a weak spot for straight guys. lol. omg way to dig a fucking grave for my love life. Should I still ask if I can provide any person assistant to his painful divorce? lol....

Then I talked to this French guy named Franchie, lol... French Franchie. Ok I am a dork. But that is just kinda funny. He is very European. I always see him working out in the gym. Apparently he does work out all the time in the gym. Literally 7 days a week. I guess that is how he got his 0% fat torso. Seriously, 0%. All I see is muscle that looks like it's been carved out of marble on his body. He's got 3 green star tattoos scattered around his 8 packs area. He has this long fuzzy hair and sexy accent. I never talked to him because .. I don't know why I just never have. But today after figuring out that sexy doctor is straight and breeding, I just talked to him. He does VOICE OVER. some strange profession. I guess it must pay really well. He's done work for USC as well and he couldn't stop praising USC staffs. Ok here is the thing, he is totally hot and a bit flamboyant. But that means he is either gay or just being European. He is rocking a pair of Chanel sunglasses. But again when a guy is European all boundaries are blurred. I know that my gaydar has not attuned obviously I don't want to make a fool out of myself by asking. Beh.. we will see what happens.

I finally finished the entire series of Queer as Folk. The whole show is pretty good and truly groundbreaking for its time. It was introduced in late 90s for god's sake. With that much nudity and controversial topic I really have to give it props. Although it inevitably fell into many many pit holes that a gay show would, overall it is a genuine show and realistic. The crap that is showing on Bravo, the Noah's Arch, I have seen one episode and I think it is really bad. Not all gays are queens.

Talking about gays, I attending this thing called Generation Queer event hosted by this dude that I really dislike. But it is a big event hosted by LGBT not by him, so whatever. I am going. It it is a two days retreat at the Renaissance Hotel. Then we will attending GLAAD media award. Business attire required and I think it is annoying considering all we minions will be sitting high up in the balcony that without a special camera the entire show would never see us. We were there probably for the ambiance noises. I am actually bit nervous to go. It is gonna be A LOT of gays. tons of gays, loads of gays. I get a bit nervous because I feel i will be judged constantly. Yeah I am probably insane but I shouldn't be the only one.

I will have to see... maybe after all I couldn't go. Because this host invited me through email, website, AND facebook. I didn't RSVP the facebook invitation because I can't come out like that. So I am not sure if I am on that event list for sure. Oh man imagine I show up with my suit bag and only be told to go home and fuck myself... poor me....