Ah. I am gonna keep this short since I could easily get lost in this topic.
I just went to have coffee with M, who I haven't seen for a while. She took on three jobs to finance her trip back to the Philippine the second time in half year. I don't know it sounds pretty crazy, 3 jobs? Anyway, we met up to catch up but also she is giving me back the money she owe me from the Hawaii trip.
She met this girl back in the Philippine and they fell in love. She really wants to bring her to the States. But gays aren't allowed to marry so that there is no way that she can do this by herself. So she asked this gay guy she knew to marry her girl in the Philippine so that he could bring her back here and get a citizenship. It'd be fake but it wasn't really her choice since she couldn't do it legally because of the retarded law. She asked the guy about 7 months ago and told him what kind of work would involved and explained to him the full extend of his liability. He told her yes and yes over and over again over the course of 7 months. She was convinced that he would do it so she told her girlfriend in Philippine that he would do it. They were all very so excited. Now as her departure date approached, he seemed to be backing out. She tried to contact him for two weeks and he didn't pick up the phone. She ran into him a couple days ago at work and he only said that he was really really busy. Given the magnitude she was very upset and frustrated.
I think it is kinda messed up. I can understand and respect if one doesn't want to get involved in a situation like this because of its uncertainty. However, I wouldn't understand why would anyone lead someone to believe that things like this would work in the beginning then back out at the last moment. Also, always be a man, either you like it or not, say it, don't be flaky about it. I am still flaky here and there but whenever I want to be flaky I always try to push myself to be more direct. I think practice will make perfect in this case. They have known each other for a long time, well like three years, and now that he is bailing out without grace and decency. Even though it would probably damage the friendship regardless how he responds her at this moment, I still think she would probably appreciate it more if he just comes clean with it. Don't leave people hanging.
I don't know. It is a hard situation to be in for anyone. M appreciates the effort but I really don't think she understands how big of a deal it is for others. Even though it sounds easy enough -- she pays him for the trip and gets back with his wife and pretends to be married for two years, the uncertainty involved is great. I would have said no first hand and I told M that as well. God forbids, what if their relationship does not work out? I mean hell it is a relationship, there is a great chance that it won't work out. M's girlfriend is very young, I think 20 years old and M is a bit older so I think mentally they could be at a different place. Los Angeles is a place of temptation, and once she comes here from the Philippine would she still be M's sweet little girl? If things are not working out, what happens to the "husband"? You see, for the marriage to work, they have to rent places together on the paper, share same bank account and the account has to have activities. There are bunch of other random things that they need to do together on paper. Even though they can settle the financial stuff backstage there is still a certain level of risk. I am not saying that because of this risk that a person should do what her friend did to her, but I think it is just a great deal to ask someone to do this and she thinks that "he doesn't have to do anything".
I just hope everything works out. None of this would have happened if she is allowed to marry her. Now she is very upset, not just about this situation but also the stupid law. It is really sad if you think about it. It genetic and why can't they just give us some rights. It is pathetic enough that we even have to ask.