The GLAAD media award

As I mentioned in the previous post, I ended up going to the retreat. It wasn't bad at all.

Our group was about 40 people large and most of them are pretty gay. There was one guy who can pass as metrosexual/eurotrash and he was really really hot. But we never talked beh. The whole event was organized by the LGBT and most of the attendees already knew each other either from the LGBT organization or the rainbow floor on campus. The rainbow floor is... i guess a residential building that is predominately occupied by gays. I felt a bit like an outsider. They always canoodling with each other with the scandalous details from their past parties/events. But overall I didn't mind and it was a pretty good trip.

Early Saturday morning, we met on campus. Freaking USC Trojan Marching Band was practicing. It was so annoying. The entire area was shaking with random beats. It was loud. The sun was bright and the sound was deafening. I just felt a bit nauseated by all these physical stimulation's. The contrast was clear. Hundreds of band members were playing instruments in their uniform and in front of them, 40 colorful gays and lesbians and a couple transgender. yum..... It felt.. interesting. A bit exposed but I guess that was the whole idea. We divided into groups and drove separately to Renaissance Hotel in Hollywood.

It was a very swanky hotel. I didn't know how they got the budget but whatever, that was no reason for complains haha. We got there around 9:30am and started the activities right away. It was basically a whole day of interaction with education agendas. We talked about power issues, gender issues, transgender/transsexual, leadership, and supports. Lots fun activities but some lame ones too. Overall I think it was good enough to call it a success and I sincerely support this kind of events. It was really eye opening and I no longer felt so alone. I never knew that there were that many categories of ... people out there. Gays, Lesbians, Transgender, these are all the common ones. But they always talked about definitions of queers, gender queer and generation queer. It was unheard of for me and I was glad to receive these knowledge. Honestly I did have more tolerance now. With more understanding I am less freaked about drag queens and people who look gender ambiguous.

We then changed into our business attire around 5:30pm and headed to the GLAAD media award around 7:00pm. Lots hot guys around and so many people it was a bit overwhelming. We sat on the balcony which was a pretty decent distance from stage. But my overall impression of the venue -- Kodak theater-- was small. There were two big flat screen monitors hanging around so that we could see the presenters on the stage. A lot of inspiration and a lot of exciting segments. It was my first ever award show in my life and it was a gay one. I would say it was pretty meaningful for me. Some surprise guests that made the crowd go nuts. The first presenter was TR. Knight from Grey's Anatomy. I didn't understand why he was so frightened by the crowd. Nervous, that would be an understatement. He was so close to choke the whole thing. You could literally hear the cracks in his voices. Man, the crowd loved him but I guess he was overwhelmed. But he is an actor for god's sake, shouldn't public speaking be a piece of cake for him? That didn't make sense for me. The second big guess that really surprised people was Ben Aflect. Then Lance Bass's dedication to the Martina Navratilova brought down the house. Lance Bass couldn't speak for literally two minutes. The boy looked good, way better than any of his tabloid photo snaps. He looked lean, tanned, and happy. I could only imagine what kind of physical treatment he received in Palm Springs at the White Party just a week ago. Then there was Jake Gyllenhal. Ok yeah that beat Lance Bass. Guys, girls and everything in between was creaming their pants. It was insane. But you can't blame them, have you seen Jake Gyllenhal? Jakey dedicated Vanguard award to Jennifer Aniston. She was a bit controversial. The queens in our group loved her. They imagined to be her best friend so they could talk about guys during brunch. Yes, typical queer's crazy imagination, fancy but unrealistic, just like their expectation of people's body fat %. The more rational ones didn't like her receiving this award because apparently she wasn't fighting for the cause. But I think it was just great that all these high profile celebrities come out and support the group and effort. They seriously do not need to do anything in particular. All they have to do is to attend these shows and look pretty and donate a couple thousand dollars it'd be enough. By contrast, the real fighter, who was also awarded in this show was the Tennis player presented by Lance Bass, Martina Navratilova. She was really inspirational and I really felt supported and touched. It is really good to know that there are people out there not only care but fight for you and for generations to come. We gays do not ask anything more but equality. I like how she said that we do not need tolerance. We tolerate bad weather, and we tolerate diseases, but we do not tolerate people. People need equality and we deserve it. How true.

After the media award. We went back for a bit more activities and ate Panda Express. The food was kinda bad. Not the quality but the quantity. Everyone was starving the whole day and the Panda Express came in a bit too little and too late. Two people from our group snuck in the VIP dinner and one of them got shitfaced. He was already really annoying with his over the top flamboyant attitude, now with alcohol he started to complain about how he didn't give shit about the event he just wanted the party. Yeah... way to screw yourself and shove a bit stinky foot down your throat. With idiots like this, how can I feel completely accepted by my "peers". I am really not like that. It was a bit disappointing. Maybe that is why I still don't feel completely comfortable sometimes because all these stereotypes on TV showing that gays are all superficial and heartless. Some of them are kinda like that. In addition, I still do not know the physical boundaries yet... You know it is different when I am with a girl. The girl wouldn't mind a bit more physical contacts with me because I am gay. But with guys since we could potentially hook up, what would be considered legal to casually do? These gays already knew each other, so you see them on top of each other all the time. But I just didn't feel comfortable enough to do it... Man the constant struggle of isolation. This is getting old.

Bah. good weekend nevertheless. Met some cool people and adding them to facebook. I still can't add too many gay friends because seriously I don't want to come out on the lame facebook.