Sunday, March 30, 2008

A quick date

There is a doctor who I have been talking to on and off lately. He looks good in pictures and he is very physically active. He does lots out door sports such as surfing, snowboarding, climbing and tennis etc, which is very attractive to me. He works out a lot and has a nice body. He is a cardiac anesthetist or something... does a lot of surgeries what not. So it is kinda cool. So I called him today and talked to him. I liked how he sounded confident and a bit cocky and I guess he liked my energy and jokes. So anyways, we decided to meet up really quick before I go to dinner tonight.

Our date place was at the Peet's coffee shop in Pasadena. I have to say the Peet's coffee shop was a pretty good place and their coffee is definitely delicious. I don't know why people would go to the starbucks next door when this place is right there. Anyways, I walked in first and was wondering if I stood in the right line. I was looking up at the menu... Hmmm house blend, 12 bucks. holly shit, why the coffee here is so expensive! Then I realized it was /lb... Suddenly a tall Asian guy who was PRETTY cute said oh excuse me are you in line. Then we started talking. He was definitely gay and definitely a bit too friendly with me. I don't I just felt happy today and I guess I looked confident etc so he was definitely giving me extra attention than needed. 

As we were talking, the doctor walked in and saw me talking to the guy so he passed us went to the "for here" line. I finished talking to the Asian dude and headed to him right away, we shook hand and immediately started talking. I guess we had chemistry since we never stopped talking. We moved around and walked around in and out of the coffee shop and kept the conversation going. It was more of a getting to know you kinda process instead of flirting. He said he got out of a relationship a while ago and it was just a really bad lesson to learn and it also happened that his last bf was also Asian.  

Overall, the conversation had a very good flow, both of us were at ease and there weren't any dull moment. When I decided to talk less he would become more engaging and asked more questions or just kept the conversation going on his side, which is a good sign. 

I don't know I think it went really well, but here are several down side:

1. A bit too well, we talked more like two gay friends catching up. It is like as if we already are kinda like friends, and we just haven't hung out for a while so we are catching up the missing pages. A bit too friendly. Although there were several sexual jokes. One was that I said something like "oh I would like to put my head on your giant chest and my hands caressing your crotch." before on text message, so today he asked me if that offer if is still valid. Another one was that he said he really liked my size, the height and body type and he asked me if everything is in proportion. So I mean I guess that is good. He kept it civil yet interesting. However, I wished there were more flirting and more sexual tension. 

2. He looked older in person. He said he was 36 which is 12 years older than I am. I think that is perfectly fine. But definitely at my borderline of dateable measures. He looked pretty fine in this one picture that he took during a climbing trip. Everything was so smooth. However in person, his years of medical school showed up well and clear on his face. His eye corners had plenty wrinkles, so are his mouth areas. He appeared to be shorter as well. He said he was 6' but I felt he was only 5'10" because I am between 6' and 6'1". And he was definitely shorter than I was. Also he wasn't looking for relationships so he was more for the fun.

3. He was going to train a "friend" who was 19 years old in the gym and "helping him out" after our little meeting. Great...

4. Since I am blogging about him I wondered what he is doing, so I sent him a hey message on his email and a text message asking if he is still up. He logged off online and wasn't replying my text. That is a bit flaky.

5. From the conversation, doesn't sound like he could give me mind blowing fucks, that would be a problem I think.

But anyways, despite these little red flags, the conversation was very dynamic and we laughed a lot and agreed with each other a lot. Time passed by fairly fast and before we knew it, it was already 740 which was about 2 hours already. So we kissed on the cheek and hugged each other tightly and we made preliminary plans for dinner tomorrow night. Hmmmm according to the sense of flakiness that I am sensing now, I doubt it would go down as planned. We shall see. This is him.


I wanted to blog this is because after having a really goofy and fun dinner/tea time with my other friends. I suddenly felt a bit lonely. My two friends were living by themselves since they were kinda young. Like 19 years old and the other one was since her early teens. So they could deal with this alone time very well. I on the other hand needs company all the time. I don't necessarily need attention all the time but I just want to have a person in the room who would care enough to talk to me a bit more when I feel down or sick... I just need that insurance. I have good friends, some are really close, however, as I grow older I just feel that I can depend on them less even though the friendship hasn't changed. I am not sure if you know what I mean. I think the only thing that can replace this emptiness or give me insurance is a husband. I am 24 and still just dating and kinda fucking which is not a good outlook. I want kids and family and I want the insurance of a family and I have nothing like that insight. 

My parents are out of town this weekend. I am not missing them for these two days but the house became so empty and I just have this previews of how my life is after I move out in a year or so. Just so you know I am living home not for the "child" loneliness reason. It just doesn't make financial sense right now and I can swallow a bit pride and allow myself to have some financial backups. But the independent issue is definitely there.

These dates make me wanna have a dependable ideal husband who would take care of me emotionally. I somehow just don't feel safe in a way. I am kinda confused. sigh..

Another weekend that started high ended kinda low

Friday was exhausting. We had a quarterly outing hosted by our department. It was full of the corporate event's gimmicks, you know, the little games, the pathetic prizes, and the "socializing". I had fun though I had to say. I played a couple rounds of pool and won the dart competition. I was teamed up with this old tall Brazilian manager. He was a surfer when he was younger, so I bet he was pretty hot when he was in his 20s. Now, he is just a standard grandpa or papa. 

The reason I was so tired wasn't because of this. I got kinda sick on Tuesday and ever since then, the symptoms have been lingering. So I guess my body was trying to constantly fending off the virus or bacteria or whatever, it really took more energy everyday. I didn't stop working out or start sleeping earlier. So by Friday I am really god damn tired. On the way home @ 4pm bathing under the warm LA sun, I was falling asleep. My head went side ways and I constantly struggled to clarify what was on the road and what was out of my dream. It was a strange moment. Suddenly, my cellphone rang and Kee "cousin" called, and I think she saved my life. 

"hey, remember Ad?"
"hmm the rich guy who likes you? from laguna beach?"
"yeah! he asked me out tonight, not a date just hanging out with his friends, I told him that my cousin is coming, so you'd better come ok! It is a upscale sushi restaurant/lounge, So i guess there is dancing later too. The dinner is @ 8:30ish"
"ok, I will. I am bored out of my ass I need to go out."

So I went home and ready to take a quick nap so I get some energy for some party.

So, cut through the random and useless stuff, Kee and I left her house around 9. Took us 1 hour on the freeway to get to laguna beach. Right off the bat, I see this sizzling hot guy leaning down kissing this chick. I was like omg I am on. Ok not kissing the chick part, but I would definitely blow that guy.

The restaurant is indeed pretty nice. The waiter/waitress are all hot, like the ones you would see in West Hollywood, like in Ketchup. The crowd was extremely attractive as well. As I stood there waiting, the nearby tables looked up and watching our 10 people party trying to squeeze in this 6 people table. The chick next to me looked up and smiled at me. Yes I had to say I looked pretty good Friday night. My outfit wasn't even expensive! I wore a Club Monaco V-neck T, with G-star jeans, pair of olive colored converse, and topped with a Zara's jacket. 

Once we sat down, I looked around the table. Two young pairs, and two older guys, one single blond, me and my cousin and Ad. Ad is this chubby guy who didn't really look all that cute either. However, he was charismatic, kind, and very fun. I am telling you, inner beauty matters people! The old guy sitting next to me was from Germany, doing medical equipment business. He travels to LA 4-5 times a year for business. Apparently, he hangs out with Ad every time he is here. I think Ad is like his dad's PR person. Ad's dad does laser eye surgical equipment business so Ad would take this old guy old every time he is in town as a good token. Maybe... just my guess. 

We started doing Sake bombing. Ok I wasn't planning to drink at all but I ended up taking.
3 Sake bombs (mind you it was a good half cups of beer too!)
1 Sake shot
2 cups of beer (maybe half of a beer)
2 Jagger shots

the Jagger shots was big and they totally did it for me. By the end of the dinner, I was in a really happy place. 

Oh the sushi was phenomenal!! It was definitely one of the best I have ever had. The one item that REALLY impressed me was something quite common, it was Salmon sashimi. The salmon was flawless and the texture was tight and smooth. When you start chewing, the fish seems to just melt in your mouth instead of being disintegrated by your teeth. All the sushi was much more authentic as well. How you can tell? you can't pick up one with your chopsticks unless you are really careful. Because sushi wasn't supposed to be tight like a cinderblock. The structure should be really soft and loose so you really should eat with your hands. That was what I ended up doing. We order a lot of fatty tuna, salmon, and urchins. omg it was such a good experience. 

For those of you want to have a good time eating sushi. please check this place. It is called Mosun Sushi in laguna beach on S. Coast Hwy. The number is 680. You know how I remember? because we tried a full 30 mins in a stupid gas station trying to figure out the recognizable address for Kee's stupid navigation. This process involved calling 3 people checking this place online. 

Once dinner was finished, we went to the lounge upstairs. We were given a vip pass so we just went up directly. It was actually a fantastic club!!!! Also one of the best I went to. The lighting was just perfect and the DJ was kinda well known. DJ Reflex was in da house. I was totally in Rihanna's don't stop the music mode. I just wanted to move my body and shake the stress away. With the help of alcohol and the crew now was somewhat familiar, I was totally rocking it. Yes it was a straight club, so I couldn't really jump to a guy and feel him up. Nor did I have to worry about who is looking who is not. I didn't have to impress or approach anyone. So I just really had a good time. Dancing with the group. The blond was a great dancer, and definitely very whorish on the dance floor. I love whores on the dance floor because they are the most fun people to dance with. I was dancing with everyone, including the guys since the chicks were in between. The music was also very well mixed. I think most of the time, whether a club is good or not really depends on the music. I mean the drinks can only vary so much, you get weak and strong, basically how the bartender mix the proportion determines a good or bad drink. The club design could matter but most of the time it is just that, a design, a decoration. When it is dark, steamy and people are drunk, your design could mean nothing. The lighting is definitely important because when you party basically the visual and audio stimulation is everything. Of course the body contacts as well. So this party pretty much covered it all.

Soon enough, I was grinding and going down with 4 chicks including some two other random chicks in the middle of the dance floor. We def grabbed a bit attention from the crowd. Ad asked my "cousin". Are you sure he is gay, he doesn't look too gay to me right now. I have to say all the girls could dance pretty well except for this one. Her name was Marie. Also a blond. But she couldn't DANCE if her life depended on it. All she did was sticking her arms in the air in such a clumsy way that it looked like she had a stroke and the arms were permanently sticking out. She had this big smily face on the whole time, plus her WHOLE body moves in one direction and one motion at a time, plus those giant lobster arms sticking up the air, she just looked like she was having a seizure in the middle of the dance floor. Plain and simple.  I didn't care, I would still rock out with her and she seemed to have a good time. That was all it mattered! But yeah, she just couldn't dance! Kee pointed out that that was why her boyfriend was nowhere near her now. I was L-O-Ling~~~ lol...

Oh one quick thing, I slipped in the middle of the dinner. I got a bit tipsy, so I was like Kee give me a kiss. and Ad looked at us in awe. So we both had to eat a shit load of shit trying to back track. It was pretty bad...

Anyways, I was buzzing crazy and got home around 230.

Woke up at 800 feeling like a zombie, headed to my god forsaken in person traffic school. It was a fucking dread 8 hours ordeal and I came out of that place at 530pm feeling numb. I was exhausted, my eyes were hurting. I spent the evening watching TV and blowing nose. Yes I got sick again. 


Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Is gossip gay nature or human nature

One unrelated news...

I listen to live news everyday and I am in love with the two anchors, Nicole Lapin and Reggie Aqui. They are both young and pretty and I choose to believe that Reggie is gay.  Anyways, I was listening to McCain's speech regarding foreign policy and wrote a comment regarding his speech on the "your voice" box right below the streaming video player. About 30 mins. later, Nicole was covering the speech and read three comments from the viewers and the third one was MINE. It was so awesome. 

"and David wrote......... thank you for your comments and please submit your thoughts and comments in our sound off section. You can get the latest news on TV, on your computer or your cellphone, thank you for watching." 

Awww how sweet. I know I know. It is not like I wrote an article and got published. And my four sentence comment has been edited down to two. But still kinda like a little treat of the day.

Now to the post....

I was about to blog this experience anyway, but didn't expect the little unpleasant twist at the end. Let's get the good stuff first. 

Well there were five gays who went out partying last Thursday and Friday. It was really fun, no hookups, but at least eventful. Tigerheat was sweaty, full of hot boys, and I got to dance with some interesting people. 

There was this one guy,

my height, skinny, white and had wavy long hair. He had a very structured face and narrow face span. His long curly hair styled to fall sideways to cover part of his eyes. It was a sexy look. He was sweaty and yet smelled good. I saw him and he saw me. We started dancing together. Slowly we got closer, hands roamed. He had a hard body. Not worked out type. I think the reason he felt hard and fit is solely because he has low body fat %. We squeezed each other, felt each other, and breathed into each other. About 30 mins later. I leaned in to give him a kiss. He kissed but no tongue. We danced two more songs and I realized he had a female friend nearby. Good dance, kiss with no tongue. It was time to finish it. We gave each other a hug I said "you are cute". 

"you are really cute too."

I moved back and forth, in and out of my 5 gays group. Danced the night away. I was exhausted. 


Second night, we went to the Abbeys then Eleven cross the street. I met one of the bloggers' friend at the bar. He had this cute brazilian female friend.  Yes, she wasn't as skinny as a super model. But she was curvy and sexy. Most importantly, bitch knows how to have a good time. We kinda hit off instantly. If she didn't have this annoying 5'5" coworker jumping around it would have been even better. We danced, we talked and we laughed throughout the night. Her face was marble white with a healthy pinkish glow. Makeup was done just right. Her two big eyes were definitely inviting. Naturally all the hot gays would stop and talk to her. I got her number and we sure will go out together again in West Hollywood pretty soon. When we danced all of our energy away we parted ways and we gays went to have pizza. 

That was it.

Now the bad stuff. 

Today however, I just heard that, apparently that night, I "was making out with a fat chick the whole night."

Not only it wasn't true but how offensive that sounded. I didn't know any of the gays well at all before Thursday. Met one twice, two once, and two for the very first time. I had high regard for one of them just because he had so much accomplishment in the field that I am interested in. Not necessarily that I wanted to go that path but I know how hard it is to make it at that young age and how smart he is. That was the background of this group. Basically five strangers, occasional online chat buddies...  

Gossip, the guilty pleasure of life. But I guess there are two kinds. One is to spread information without one's consent, the other is to spread false information without consent. I think most people would do or at least have done the first type. How many of you have done the second? I personally haven't done so because that doesn't seem to fit in my philosophy. MAYBE because I haven't met someone I just really don't like THAT much or I am not old enough to be indifferent about people and things. I am very compassionate and considerate one's feelings regardless how much I dislike that person. There is a history behind this odd behavior and I think I may blog about it soon... 

Anyways, this little gossip piece is not gonna make a dent on my evening or on me in any way. However, it is like being pooped on by bird. It is still an unpleasant event that is only kinda funny when it doesn't really happen to you.

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Some random things

I called in sick today coz my throat hurts. So after I woke up at 11:30am, I proceeded my day with hot guy drooling on and shared pictures of hot guys that I was drooling over with my Vice President on AIM. 

Ok is such a crazy place. I wonder if they screen their members and delete all the ugly people's profile when they don't pay attention. I wonder how long my profile will be up there till it is kicked off by the beauty police. It is so scary how MOST of these people look. Yet even more surprising is that these people are supposedly living nearby. I was put into a very weird place. Most of them seem to be out of my league. I mean look at their pictures! They are jet setting to France and Italy spending their summers with a gaggle of model looking friends. When they aren't, they would produce head shot pictures that are than a lot of people's professional pictures, with you guessed it, just a cellphone! All i can see was lots lots 6 packs and giant chests. I mean what is this, did America finally become fit? Or we are just having an extreme case of fat polarization? So we get these mammoth 300+ people walking around then we have these 5% body fat gay painting the town red. I was just roaming and roaming. Sigh... My mom should have not married my dad because imho my dad looks pretty ugly. Anyways, these are some local guys. omfg....

Yes my throat was hurting and I ate some medicine and felt a bit dehydrated. But after seeing these, what choice do I have except to go to the gym?

So I went to the gym. Run run run... run run run, ok about to die, now lift lift lift. However, I have to say I was welcomed with a little surprise. A brand spanking new trainer named Joe. He is this 6'2" blond super athletic built frat bro type of guy who seemed to be very good in bed. So after doing some inclined bench press I racked up the weight a bit and trying to look all tough. He offered spotting services. How can I say no.

"you are a new trainer here!"

"oh yeah my name is Joe. Nice to meet you. So you have been here a while huh is that how you know the new people in and out"

"Yeah I have been here for a year and I train with N"

"oh N. great trainer."

"oh yeah N is great, very down to earth very knowledgeable, and most importantly very gay friendly. There are a lot of gays here in this gym, myself included, so that is very important. If you treat everyone equally you are gonna make good money."

"oh yeah? so there are people who aren't cool with gays?"

"oh i am sure there are some. but anyways, thanks for the help."

So we parted our ways briefly and he came back later to help me with another set of bench. We talked a bit more. He was actually an athlete trainer who specializes in power lifting and acceleration etc. So his training increases the capability of one's body to handle more physical challenges and build muscle mass in short period of time. He of course himself is an athlete who plays football, soccer, rugby, baseball, and basketball. When he said rugby, I repeated "oh rugby." And I had an instant imagine of Ben Cohen the super hunky rugby player from England. I filtered myself so I didn't mum out something like "oh Ben Cohen, famous rugby player, super hot."

After gym, I met up with friend K and had some deep conversation and Sea Urchin Spaghetti topped with soft scrambled eggs. It was DELICIOUS!!

Anyways, today it s pretty superficial. I tried to be more cultured by watching Sally Kern's dialogue regarding why gays are cancers to our society, only to find out that the only thing I wanted to do at that moment was to maul her face off and make it a cum rug. It can't be good for my sleep. So I am keeping today superficial as it is I guess.

Sunday, March 23, 2008

A kinda dysfunctional friendship


Sitting on her bed surfing through various websites. In the background, Charter TV has been vomiting trashy contents at me since I turned it on. I guess I can appreciate good shows but overall I think TV is such waste of time...

"come on bring me to dinner tonight. I haven't hung out with you for the whole week."

"ah... it is the gay night. I got gay bloggers coming from out of town, they don't even know you. I don't even know them! It could be very weird."

"so? then it is perfect, all strangers, if they are down, we can have a good time no matter what."

"I guess it is true."

"ok I am going then."

She turned around going through her dresses.

I took out my cellphone and texting the guest gays regarding this intrusion.

She took off her bra. I have seen her kinda naked but not actually this naked. This is first pair of female boobs I have seen that don't belong to
1. stripper
2. wasted college chick

She stood there with her giant boobs and big nipples all bare and looking back.

"what, don't tell me you haven't seen boobs before. I know you are gay but you should have at least SEEN these."

"hmmm I have, and touched too but from a stripper."
"why do straight guys like those? they are just two giant fat mellon hanging. They actually kinda look scary. They could cause injuries, like black eyes or suffocation I think."

"shut up just because you don't like it doesn't mean they are bad."

"so B (her bf) loves them."

"oh yeah you should listen to him moan."

"like a nice bottom boy."



I waved. She walked over. I squeezed.

"firm very nice. "

"of course."
"should I wear this dress."

"no too flowy, don't wear it at night."
"wear that blue one, and I want super high heels on you. ok I think u look good now."

Sidenote, she refers me as Cousin in front of everyone who doesn't know me.


After dinner we realized that we had to stop by a straight club for her friend's bday. I started moaning saying that I really wouldn't want to go. She said she would waste her dress's appearance if she doesn't. So the straight club it is.

"who is the bday guy anyway? did he go to USC too?"

"yeah! BR, you don't know him? I think you should, he works at Big Four right now."

"what is his last name?"


"omg I do know him and no one liked him! Coz he was an ex marine and anal about everything!"

"oh fuck that is just great. "

"so he knows I am coming?"

"yeah! I told him that you are my cousin already"

"hmmm make sure we don't start grinding in the club then. I so do not want to grind my cousin in front of him."

"god i hate this."

Straight club sucks fucking balls. period.

Not just that I don't feel that I belong but also the people are fucking assholes. My friend got yelled by a fucking 5'3" bitch and then I got shout at by the douchebag bartender. Yes I made a mistake but when I was about to correct it and give him what he asked for, all he wanted was to tell me to fuck myself. Alright, you get nothing then bitch, I mean I am sorry that you are born to be a mistake and become a fucking bartender. Fuck I am so pissed. God my friend owes me a big one! arrrrgggg

Friday, March 21, 2008

why blog

I just stumbled upon Tim's blog once again. He did his last post last December and the reason for that is that he came out and life suddenly changed and the original purpose of his blog pretty much evaporated.

I just want to write this to reflect this resonating phenomenon. I started this blog to vent all the things that happened in my life. It was a bit dark because I wasn't happy and I couldn't come out. I wanted a anonymous outlet for me to be as negative as I can. I think everyone has his/her dark side and as "dudes" we were taught not to cry and not to complain. With being in the closet and all, not to cry and not to complain wasn't even a dude thing anymore. It was just not an option to express that side of me. So after a while that baggage took a huge tow on everything else in my life. Everything wasn't as exciting as it was supposed to be and in many ways I was depressed. I think by reading back, I could see a lot of frustration and depression hinting here and there in my posts. However, that was extremely healthy the time being because I can be as a nervous wreck I wanted to be on my blog just so that all that frustration can be let out a little bit. I think in a lot of ways, blogging really helped me dealing certain things better. Coming out was definitely because of this blog. It is like working out and weight loss. You have a much better chance of achieving it if you keep a journal of what you do and eat. Coming out was the same deal. I got to see how frustrated and pathetic I was if I continued to force myself in the closet. The more I wrote about how great if I could come out, the more comfortable I got with that idea. So every time I wanted to come out, the idea of doing it seemed to be less scary. Then, I came out with the first friend and the ball started rolling.

Despite the fact that I came out to all my close friends, I kept on blogging. Probably still sounded a bit wrecked here and there. I didn't know the reason after I solved the mystery. Basically I was still frustrated that my folks didn't know. I went back to China after graduation and talked to several closer family members and on several occasions I almost came out but ended up not to. Now in retrospect, I am very happy that I didn't because coming out to my mom first was the proper way of dealing this. It would be just so wrong if she had to find out about it via some gossip within the family and then she probably would have had a harder time dealing with the initial shock.

So finally came out to my mom by the end of the summer. Everything changed. I felt like my life is normal now. All I had to do was just living it. There was no more need to linger around the blogsphere to seek the possibilities of freedom per se. I stopped reading blogs, writing blogs, and talking to bloggers. I was ready to quit blog like how I quit the stupid game WoW in my Junior year in USC. It became a bit cold turkey.

After a long hiatus and some half assed updates. I really wanted to continue to blog for a different reason. I felt that only when I decided to move on, this blog would never move on and it would be gone. So I guess the blogging material has changed a bit. I think that it is important for me to blog. I want to keep track of my life. I want to keep some sort of record with the people and things that shaped me and affected me. It is sort of a prove that I have been in this world. Something written like a contract. I am living my life, and on top of that I want it to be written in my own term as well. I think once I changed the reason for blogging, this blog actually survived its drought.

All in all, I think blogging is fantastic. God knows how it helped so many people dealing with messy issues that people just didn't know where to start. right?

Here is a picture for half naked thursdays haha. I am gonna start doing it.

Thursday, March 20, 2008

A different point of view

I generally like CNN. But I don't like how it is covering the news in Tibet. But I can't blame them. Compared to their report on the Chinese hackers, this one at least appeared to be somewhat impartial. Again that is after the hard facts of how the riot really happened, they couldn't do anything but report the impartial truth. I like how they say that in Iraq, trust and truth are all relative. What they do not realize is that it applies everywhere.

The current western view of Chinese government's censorship has been pretty consistent - China is one of the worst offender of human rights in the entire world. The new human rights report that has been published by the U.S. government ranked China in the top spots. As Bush would say, we, the good doers would have to save these people from their suffering. What is ironic is that the same kind of mentality and almost exact same kind of words have been wielded as the political means to justify the Communist regime by Mao. Yes that didn't happen for Mao. Mao couldn't lead his Communist party and went around the world to save people from suffering but his failure has many layers. The flaws in the Communism ideology for one, and the blind philosophical crusade was probably the actual cause of the fall of China in modern history. 

The world is connected yet segregated, much like our country the United States. People really need more understanding and need less judgement. We all respect human lives, however, as a nation, we ought to respect its sovereignty and ideology as well if not more. Maybe it is my collective utilitarianism renders my way of thinking. But I think this collective utilitarianism is very universal and very human. It is this very idea that enabled our troops to serve in Iraq for reasons that are not in serious doubts. So I think I have a lot of ground to say that a nation's stability is more important than a lot of issues, such as the relative truth of human rights issues in Tibet. 

What I do not understand is that so many people, either naive or clueless, are so ready to judge other people or other nation simply because they didn't do certain things in certain ways at certain time. Well there is a good reason behind a lot of things that you have no clues about. I mean just apply the standard regarding human rights from America to America 100 years ago, I am sure America would also be one of the worst offender of human rights in history. The point is that Chinese Empire has fallen and people have revolutionize the nation with new ideas and formed new government. Yet it fell again in World War II. The neighbor nation, Japan, way smaller than China almost succeeded the invasion. At one point it had controlled up to 80% of the territories in China with its military forces. When the Chinese won World War II, basic survival was in question. Then there was the civil war and when that was over, it was Mao's philosophical crusades against the Capitalism. Also, that hatred toward Capitalism wasn't from some sudden light bulb that went off in fanatic leader, it also had its histories and reasons, which I won't talk about. So when the Chinese finally had good enough environment to not to STARVE to death as the biggest and poorest nation in the world just about 60 years ago, the first thing on their mind was definitely not about media censorship. And let me tell you this, if anyone or anything in China that risks to jeopardize the stability that came with millions who died or suffered through the war, post war reconstruction, and the cultural revolution, the Chinese government will oppress it, and by the contrary to the Western world's believe, even with the full coverage of the incidents, even with the deaths tolls, the majority of the nation will fully support the actions taken by a landslide. That will definitely be true for the incident that is going on Tibet. 

Another point of view that sounds extremely alien and orthodox and brainwashed and yet it is really the truth, or at least the relative truth that the West and the East will never have a fair dialogue regarding this issue. 

Also see this post by MSTP Bound

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

A weekend that felt like a week

I called my friend Dodo earlier that week and told her that I wanted to go shopping and have brunch on Saturday. She agreed, which is good because she has incredible sense of style and we always have fun together. I thought that was the plan for the whole weekend. Was I wrong.

Friday night, Kee called up and asked me to go have dinner with her... AFTER I pick her up from the airport. I was tired and driving to LAX in rush hours just didn't sound appealing at all. But she's been driving me around and treating me dinner etc, besides I am really counting on her to buy me an Iphone II as my bday or Christmas gift whenever that thing comes out.  So I told her I would be there. Oh of course, the friendship was a deciding factor too. I am serious!. 

The drive wasn't bad at all but I got even more tired once I arrived. Luckily her flight arrived early - I know how impossible that sounded - and we left the airport in no time. She just came back from Ohio so she was rocking this amazing coat from Kenneth Cole. I was impressed. In the car, she told me how there were so many cute corn fed white guys walking around etc.  Yeah, we have identical tastes in guys. Not just type of guys, but the exact same criteria as well.  We picked up her car from her boyfriend's place and we went for some dinner. As food lovers, we had a blast eating this really spicy Chinese noodles. Then we went back to her place and I curled up in her bed watching TV as if it was in the winter time. She was busy unpacking.  I think women do look beautiful when their mother  nature just naturally come out. Even though she was unpacking for herself, I could see that tender moment when she is cleaning up her baby's shit filled diapers etc. It was truly sweet. We talked and watched some more TV and went out to eat yet again.  I then accidentally left my key at the restaurant and made the owner to wait for me for 20 mins at 12:00am in a small plaza till I picked the keys up lol. He was SO nice. But he was pissed...


Saturday was my shopping day. My friend dodo ended up bringing 2 friends of hers. I didn't mind but the shopping then didn't go as I planned. I wanted to modify my style a bit. I really wanted to try some different kind of layering and with those two there I just didn't want to waste too much time and trying on clothes like a diva. So we just swiftly shopped around. 

I guess because we had a small group the hop shopping was really fun in West Hollywood/Melrose. We would go to one store and hop in the car drive to the next spot several blocks down the street and repeat. I know we were pretty lazy but we were able to find parking whenever we wanted so it was almost as if we owned the place. I picked out a Paul Frank long sweater for another friend of mine who was going to have her bday celebration the same night.  Now, after shopping for so long I felt that I really needed to get something for myself as well and since I was on a very tight budget due to my recent purchase of my kick ass Mac Book Pro, I went to Marc by Marc, the Marc Cheap. I bought a Chicago Marc grey Tshirt and two condoms. The condom was for my bday girl friend as a joke. On the way out we saw the cutest mascot - a skunk standing in the display window. How can we resist free photo op with a spring skunk? So we did our dramatic takes with the skunk and left the place happy and goofy.  Later on, I found out that I left my condoms and tshirt at the skunk's den and when I called in the girl was like "well you can come back and check." Yeah... that sounds like a plan. 

It rained on the way home. Sunny and pouring. The palms trees, weird buildings, unique window displays, crazy people, and the sunny rain made the afternoon a very memorable one. I thoroughly loved it.

Fast forward to 9 pm. I arrived at bday girl's apt and gifted her. We then headed out to the singing bar called Brass Monkey in Hollywood. It was a very wonderful and simple joint. People were genuinely having fun - even though 70% of the singers were practically screaming at the microphone. About 20 people showed up to the party and one guy definitely stood out. He was the boyfriend of a ex friend and oh my was he beautiful. He was half korean half white with a 10k millioin watt smile that shocked me every time he smiled. We ended up chatting for a while. He was still going to UCLA for MBA and he was originally from Maine how cute right? I was pretty much on camera duty along with two other guys. The girls went nuts, grinding, dancing, kissing each other getting wasted the usual. Even though I didn't sing along with the girls when they did their screaming rendition of "Hit Me Baby One More Time" and I didn't drink a drop of alcohol I still had a lot of fun. 

I left at 1:00am and called up Kee. She was just leaving the club Sugar in Hollywood too. She asked me if I wanted to eat. I think this is why I like her, we have the same taste in pretty much everything, guys, food, entertainment  and we are both Chinese so it is like connected by cultural soul already. I got home kept texting back and forth with her while I spent quality time with my Mac Book Pro. We ended up calling the night at 2:30am and decided not to eat at this weird hour. I mean the only place that opened was IHop and we are both kinda weight conscious, kinda...



Kee, her boyfriend, her boyfriend's roommate, and I went for brunch at The Boiling Crabs. According to them, it is the pioneer in this new trend in this "relatively white washed area" within this Asian vicinity. I mean the only real white area left in LA is probably Hollywood Hills and when I say that I mean the Asian % is still considerably low compared to other places. I am not sure which target audience this restaurant is trying to impress. The Asians? So we can feel white washed enough? I mean I supposed that is a social step up according to the restaurant? or, the white people so they know they weren't the only white meat among the mysterious race called Asians? I wasn't sure but apparently the boyfriend, white mixed with the entire Europe a Chicago native, and his roommate a white guy from New Orleans were intrigued by the white washed callings and we decided to check this place out.

Well let's be clear we were here for their crawfish. So we got about 12 lbs of crawfishes and shrimps. Oh btw, I have to say that this place was white washed. According to the encyclopedia of stereotypes, this place got Mardi Gras beads hanging everywhere, with authentic crude wood chairs and tables, topped with 5 flat huge plasma focused on the ball games. Yeah I say it was very white washed. I mean the two white dudes seemed to be comfortable.  Actually we were making fun at this stupid ad the whole time. The crawfish was really spicy and for me kee and her bf it was very decent but it kinda pissed off our New Orlean dude because he didn't think it was authentic enough. I mean how dare they put the seasoning ON TOP A CRAWFISH. I dont know he kinda gasped so loud and long it was like the first time he was insulted.  Anyways, it was extremely messy and tiring brunch. I mean this meal totally killed the relaxing and trendy and gay aspects of the term brunch. oh did I feel macho afterward.  But I have to admit it was a LOAD of fun. We were laughing all the time hehehe

We then went shopping again. I was able to retrieve my Marc Jacobs t shirt and the condom which was given to Kee since she probably would dispense it right away.  I purchased the following, a G-star Vneck T. A energy vneck thin sweater (super cute!), and 7 Diamond shirt. I think I will wear the shirt on Thursday when I see Troy and K hahaha...  the Gstar Vneck was a bit of a push. it was a pretty low Vneck at least for my standard so I kinda felt naked while trying it on. But as I was saying I really want to break away from the beach boy style, so I had to start somewhere. A naked Vneck would do it!

That was about it, I felt like that I never stopped moving the entire weekend. LA has blessed us with some beautiful weather, yes including that rain on Saturday, so it almost felt like a vacation by Sunday, a vacation seemed to end when it just started. 

It would have ended perfectly if the crawfish didn't fuck me up at 4:00am in the morning. I was awake, found myself moaning loudly from the stomachache. Yes, a quick yet violent bathroom run ended the pain but my sleep that night was thoroughly fucked....


Sunday, March 16, 2008

My porn moment #2

Well my first porno moment was when I was 19 years old. It was a 4 way circle jerking in my school's shower. I really didn't think I would have another porno moment. 

My definition for porn moment is something you wouldn't do under normal circumstances or something you wouldn't imagine yourself doing. Like if you are prude and suddenly you became the cum rug in the middle of a 20 men orgy. Yeah I would say that is a porno moment. Another example is my example, you know jacking off with 3 other guys in a public shower. I mean that is not something you do after waking up in the morning. 

Anyways, this porn moment happened last Monday. My friend with benefit called me earlier the day and we scheduled to meet up. I wasn't so enthusiastic about it because the last several times weren't.. hmm 100% pleasurable for me. It either hurt too much or just didn't last long enough. But I was kinda horny so decided to give it a try again. 

We met up around 9:00 pm at his new place. This area was much nicer. Apparently, it was a great neighborhood and much closer to where I lived. He didn't come out right away as I arrived, which kinda annoyed me. It was a bit chilly and I was feeling a bit exhausted from working out etc... 

He came out about 5-10 mins after I arrived and we exchanged a bit pleasantry. He told me that he found a good deal renting this place but the only disadvantage is that he lives downstairs and the owner can see whomever he brings in if the owner is downstairs. So today the owner for some reason refused to get back to his room upstairs and lingered around and doing random things in the kitchen. So we talked for 5 mins and got really bored. Instead of keeping the conversation going, he brought me to this little isle behind the house. The isle was probably 20 yard long, connecting the two parking area on the two sides of the house. The owner really took care of his house well because even in this area that people normally don't pass through was kept almost spotless. We stopped by one end of the isle and started to make out. Soon enough he took his pants off and I was between his knees in no time. After enjoying his cock for a while, he took my pants off and told me to be on all fours on the 3 stairs by the end of the isle. He then start doing what he enjoys the most other than fucking, rimming. It felt so bizarre. I wasn't as nervous as I expected to be and it felt really good. 

After the rimming session. He took out the condom and lube. That was unexpected. I mean if he wasn't impressing me on a comfortable bed, how bad could it be if we were outside and trying to hurry things up? But the owner was still taking his sweet time in the kitchen and I really didn't want to wait any longer for a fuck session at that point to be honest. So I moved along with his impromptu plan. He got in me with two tries and when he was in, it hurt so much that I could barely breath. I thought, oh fucking great, now I am outside, pants down, taking a 7" inch cock in my ass and risking it to get arrested, even worse, I might have to get registered as a public sex offender. However, pain eased up really fast and for some reason the fuck went very smooth. It didn't hurt at all and it was extremely pleasurable. Soon enough I was moaning and panting. It felt extremely good and I got really hard by this unusual circumstance. In order to accompany his routine speed, I kinda hurried up and came not too long after he started to pump hard. I came a lot and the sounds of cum splashing all over the dry wall was kinda hot. 

He said, "did you cum?"

"yeah, that was good."

"I haven't cum yet."

"don't worry. keep fucking then."

So he kept pumping but I could tell he was trying to hurry. Another 5 mins later, he collapsed on my back and it took a while for both of us to get up. He actually took the condom inside his underwear and finished it like that. That was a bit suspicious... Why wouldn't he take out the condom? Did it BREAK???!! or did he just fake it. I worried about the first scenario the most. But I really didn't feel any cum afterward so it wasn't too likely that the condom broke. 

We said goodbye and I drove home feeling satisfied and wild. The end...

Saturday, March 15, 2008

I am a new convert!!!

Now I am proud to be a Mac user mu hahaha. I just bought a Mac Book Pro. The 15" one to be exact. I feel that the 17" could be a bit too much for a laptop. After all I will be carrying it around.

Everything is so pretty and cute, I am soooo excited. I guess there will be a lot of time spent between me and my mac. oh I love it!!

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

I am sorry the mailbox is full

Yeap you bet your ass it will be.

The bigot Rep. Sally Kern from Oklahoma said the following,

Yes, it is shocking and disgusting. It is just so frustrating when all we want is to be treated equally with respect and then we have people like this holding public offices still spread such animosity to the public. I just don't understand how people could be so twisted...

So, for once, I feel good about what Perez Hilton has to say. He suggested that we should all call in her office and leave our opinions. I called Sally Kern's office and ready to leave her a message. The mail box is full and I can't leave a message. I hope this youtube video catches more fires and really let the public see what kinda bigot they elected in their state.

Saturday, March 08, 2008

Another weird dream

I am in this huge town hall and apparently Hillary Clinton won the nomination over Obama at the last minute.

Then I woke up. I really don't think I am THAT obessessed with the election. Maybe just a little.