Friday, March 30, 2007

This week so far

The big three items on the menu for this week have been served, well, at least two of them, one was delayed.

After being canceled, rescheduled and canceled again for my HIV test, I finally complete the whole thing on Thursday. The result was NEGATIVE, thank god. I was kinda nervous and I think I looked like an idiot when I was reading that piece of result paper. The girl told me that it was anti-body non-reactive basically means negative. But I was just too absorbed in the moment, which was supposed to be a fantastic triumph or a devastating disaster. Either way it was going to be something dramatic in my mind. But it was just that simple. She told me the result in one short sentence and I was holding that paper still waiting for the big moment to come. Realizing that was it, I asked here where it said that I was negative. I couldn't find the actual result... She pointed it out and I read the short phrase antibody non-reactive over and over again. Meanwhile I kept telling myself, it was it, I was fine. But somehow I wasn't convinced and asked her if it meant it was negative and if I was going to be fine. Her answer was another short "yes". I guess she has seen too many HIV testing virgins and she just thought I was one dumb bird who found the joy of living again. Then she gave me a big envelope full of condoms. The one on top was mint flavored. I picked one up and my mind immediately flew to a hot sex scene that I have seen on porns. How the condom would feel on a giant piece of meat and it would feel to put that meat in me or I use that condom on my own meat. Ok I digress.... I snapped out of it but nevertheless the whole deal made me horny.

So, that was a very good news for me!

The second item on my list was delayed. After I emailed the recruiter more academic information, she told me that they would review it and then tell me in another WEEK OR TWO. I was a bit disappointed because she kept pushing my dates back. I talked to my friend who is already working in the firm and she told me that it was busy season now and since it is a small firm people are insanely busy. Especially at this moment, recruiting effort mainly focused on summer internship. She said she would talk for me again. I really hope this one would work out. I need this particular job for the money, security, career, and vanity.

The 3rd item went well actually. I also avoid saying "went well" after a test before the result actually comes out. I just don't feel like to jinx myself. But I studied with some friends at the library and knocked down the material pretty efficiently. I didn't have to procrastinate and stay up late late. I however stayed up late watching Queer as Folk. The actual test went OK. I felt comfortable on all the questions. Even though I wasn't sure on any of the problems. But I felt good enough to know that I would at least get partial credits on every single one that I touched. However, I will find out the result either next week or the week after that for sure. Feeling good or bad won't matter when the reality comes in the picture.

So last night, after all this has happened, I felt the need to relax. Called up a gay friend for Hookah, but the stupid Hillary Swank was premiering her new movie the Reaper or Reaping at Westwood so the entire street shut down. I couldn't find parking!! Drove from UCLA back to USC, the round trip wasted 1 hour and 20 mins of my life. I then spent another hour looking for the new Hookah cafe next to USC neighbor following my friend's instruction. Apparently, the Hookah cafe was a ghost or it was burrowed underground. We searched it street by street and we couldn't find it. So eventually we went to his place for it. He has a tiny hookah gear which was pathetic. But I wasn't in the mood hookah when the westwood stuff didn't work out. Especially we were talking about condoms again and that made me horny. So all that time I was thinking in what way I could get my friend naked. So we went back to his home and I jokingly challenged his porn hiding skill and started to dig in his hard drive for the porns he's downloaded. I did find them quite easily and started to watch it. I knew he was getting horny. So I just waited. I could tell he was getting excited by the way he positioned himself on his bed. Besides we were laying next to each other using his laptop on his bed, it was just so easy to make a move. So I did. I said all the porn made me horny if he wanted to do something on our own. He wanted to but didn't know what to say. So I saved him the trouble and tore off his pants and started it on his cock. Good size I have to admit. He said he has never been with a guy yet and he just came out. It was actually true. After working on his cock for like 10 mins which he apparently enjoyed a lot he asked me if I wanted some too. Of course I said yes. I surprised him again when I stripped down revealing that I wasn't wearing underwear. This is when I found out he really hasn't been with a guy. He was so nervous and he couldn't go down on me in the beginning. He was just stroking and then he said, "here it goes". It felt almost comical for a bit. "Here it goes?" we weren't having an operation or something. He tried to suck it but only after 3 ups and downs, and I of course pushed his head down a bit too hard, he chocked and gagged and almost puked. Ok that wasn't hot at all and I felt so bad. He was so embarrassed as well that he lost his hard on. I was like, omg, I am turning people straight. I didn't feel bad at all though. You see, he was the one I asked to be a fuck buddy. Then, he gave me all that "I wouldn't want to screw, friends would be better, and I could hurt people crap". I thought, well don't bring in the straight people's relation crap in this scene. So I just showed him what fuck buddies do. I told him it was ok and said just kiss me. I just knocked myself out, played with my tongue and his balls. I exploded all over his bed. Then I felt relaxed. Gave him a hug and left.

His roommate supposed to be gay too and he was from Hong Kong. Actually personally I wouldn't be so sure. A lot of guys from Hong Kong are extremely feminine and so tiny and fragile that they might just as well be girls. Anyway, my point was his roommate was in the room next door which was separated from our room by a thin wall. All this time that I am sucking and moaning, he was there all that time cooking dinner. I am sure he enjoyed the imagination as well. But too bad it wasn't as hot as he imagined lol... Their house must have been built using the cheapest material because you can hear everything not only next door in your house but also the houses to your left and right!! Anyway, so I finished myself up, and walked out and made eye contact with his roommate. Introduced myself and felt a bit awkward and left.

I need some experienced guy who can fuck my brains out or vice versa, people without experiences are cute, but just cute nothing more

Monday, March 26, 2007

A week of anticipation

This is week should be eventful. Or, disastrous. There are three things that I am waiting for and none of them could be taken lightly. I usually like anticipations like this unless I am not confident. In this case, I am not confident in any of the three up coming events:

  • HIV Test
  • Recruiting Response
  • Finance Midterm

They are listed by priority. I figured even jobs are important I'd rather still have a regular life... The result comes back on Thursday, which is probably the latest response I will get this week. Life has its own of working things lol. The most important result saved for the last. They say saved the best for the last which could be distratrous in this case. What if I got horrible news for the other two and then the best for the last.. omg... I should stop thinking about it now. But yeah... I don't know why I still did the test on campus because they had no rapid result testing services. Now I have to suffer a week of agony of waiting and wishing.

On the other hand, the recruiting response is very important as well. I have been talking to this recruiter from this firm that I really want to work with for a while. Finally we got a chance to talk to each other last week for 10 mins as our first round screening. This week she will tell me whether or not I get the second round, then I will get either the congratulations or a short lame ass email explaining I am a good candidate but they just don't want my ass. I really want this job for a lot of reasons. I need the money for the most practical one, but also for it is a great place to start my career. It is a small boutique accounting firm that was founded only 15 years ago by partners from the Big Four. For those of you aren't in accounting, Big Four used to be Big 8, after mergers, scandals, bankruptcy, only four still remain strong, and they are Deloitte & Touche, PricewaterhouseCooper, Enrst & Young, and KPMG, their asset ranged around 20 Billion, so definitely big companies and 90% of the fortune 500 companies are their clients. Anyways, these people founded this company, only after one decade, they have already reached 30 million revenue mark and promoted 23 partners. If you put this into perspective, that is more than 1 million/year for each partner. Not bad I would say. Even though I won't make anywhere close to that, but they are paid well and have a lot of exposure to many things, it is definitely the place I want to be. But again my fucked up GPA is hurting me and I would be somewhat devasted if I don't even get a second round interview. I have been rejected too many times for the GPA reason.. GOD, oh well I should stop talking about it before I jinx myself.

Then, there is the test. I got right on average last midterm. The second midterm is coming up Wedsnday and I need to really study for this shit. It is kind of confusing. Luckily I finished my homework last night and had a better ideal of what the hell is going on. But see, I have 1 month left till I am done with school for a while till my master program maybe... and it is getting hectic. All the big projects, paper, final preprations, presentations are due. I have two meetings scheduled this week already. Tuesday with my presentation group and Wedsnday with my 30 page paper group then Friday two meetings with the same two groups with the same professor. It is gonna be fucking great.>_soooo smart. I don't know about you guys, but I get turned on when a dude knows exactly where he is heading in his life and has the brain to get what he wants. The killing part of him for me was that he is going to work for GoldmanSach, probably the best place to be in investment banking and they hire like 5 people in the whole country in one office? something like that. And he is so kind and genuine and so smart. ah............................................... so sad T_T.... I want to work for Goldman too. Ok now I am wandering off again.

Worst of all I don't know if I can still squeeze in workouts!!! I am feeling so fat...

Sunday, March 25, 2007

Random thoughts

I just saw a short video clip of Mercedes-Benz fashion show. It was Diane Von Furstenburg's fall collection. I wouldn't even know who the hell this old bitch was but thanks to my ex, I now do know who she is. She is supposed to be THE designer who designed something called "wrap around dress", whatever that is, and apparently this thing made her incredibly rich and respected in the fashion industry.

The reason I brought this up is because you see, my ex was the chief designer at Diane Von and he moved to LA for another boutique designer called David Meister. I could totally image that he chats up with that old fox with their exotic Spanish accent and talk about how next season girls can look like a vase of flowers. Anyway... the point is not that I miss him or anything, it is just that I still do not know how I ended up sleeping with him... People are six degrees apart aren't they, just random stuff...

Friday, March 23, 2007

Paying bills is the most horribel thing on earth

It hurts when I see my bank balance goes down. Don't you wish that someday it would rain money in your backyard?

Thursday, March 22, 2007

Hawaii Trip - Take 2

Luckily, the trip has gone pretty well since I left the airport. Michele brought her laptop and I watched Love Actually on the plane. It was such a cute movie!! Everyone should watch it. I think curvy British girls are kinda cute like the one that Hugh Grant fell in love with in the movie. We landed in Honolulu at 6:00pm. Wasting no time, we rushed to the hotel room and then headed to the beach directly. It was already a bit cold and it was extremely cloudy that day. It looked as if a thunderstorm would come anytime. The air was humid and warm. Even though it was still very nice, it didn't feel like Hawaii. Not like I have ever been to Hawaii before but somehow I had certain expectations such as the Hawaiian heat, sunshine, and blue sea. The water was there alright, but with the dark sky, everything was enveloped in a layer of grey...

Anyway, after quick water dipping, we headed for dinner. We found this local restaurant called Ono Restaurant. I later learned that Ono meant yummy in local tongue. The stuff was very good and very Asian. It wasn't Chinese but definitely had Chinese delicacy influences. Well, the entire Asia had some kind of Chinese influences in their food lol... Maybe not so much for India...

Dinner was very satisfying and made us very sleepy, so we took a quick nap and met up with Hester and Carla. The locals told us that since it was on a weekday, especially it was a Monday, most of the clubs weren't in full motion. The best place to be around that area was probably Mai Tai, a local bar that plays Reggae. Oh, I've got to mention that I loved how tight the city was in Honolulu. Everything was next to everything. The clubs were about a couple blocks away from our hotel. It was some gigantic blocks but if you wanted to walk, 20-30 mins would do. Driving would usually get you there in 5-10 mins. But I guess because of the fast travel, everything seemed to be a sighting seeing sensation, even the clubs that were local business opening for the locals. But for us, it was just like a stop at Disneyland.

Mai Tai turned out to be a great success. We all loved it very much. The music was awesome and every song was played and sang by the live band. The drinks were pretty and tasty. All mixed drinks were decorated witha fresh purple lei. I had a shot of Patron Silver, a beer, and two tropical drinks named Mangolicious. It tasted like Mango slush, incredibly refreshing and delicious. I didn't think it was alcoholic drink in the beginning. But actually each drink had at least one shot of tequila in there too. Then we danced all night. Three hours straight. I was sweating like a pig. Because the bar was on top of a mall, so it was in the open space. The warm and humid Hawaiian night wind caressed the crowd the whole night. It was very tropical and a bit exotic. Everyone was sweating and it was sexy, the sweats were natural and the scent was of the green sea on Waikiki beach. I saw a couple cute guys but it was a straight bar so I didn't want to ask anyone and cause a potential hate crime @_@...

Hester must be really in the party mood. How couldn't she be? It was an extension to her birthday celebration. She found a local guy to dance with almost immediately. Personally I didn't think he was cute, even a bit ugly for my taste. Carla, Hester's sister shared the same opinion with me. But Michele and Hester both thought he was cute. I guess people's tastes were indeed very different haha. Hester danced with him the whole night and toward the end of the night, they were already kinda inseparable. It was a bit strange to see Hester doing this because this wasn't her normal behavior. I guess vacation on exotic island would do things like this to people lol...

We had a lot of fun and felt fulfilled and exhausted like you would expect in a perfect vacation. Headed back to hotel around 4:00pm (7:00am in LA time), and had a great night of sleep.

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Hawaii Trip - Take 1

Before the trip, something significant happened...

It was the day time saving day. People ought to change their clocks accordingly. As the control freak my dad is, he decided that it was his top priority to change all sorts of clocks in our home. 9AM, he started his errand. It was pretty annoying. Of course I was sleeping. I vaguely remembered saying, just mind your business would you, clocks change themselves nowadays.

Fast forward to March 12th, my departure day.

The plan was that he can pick me up at 12:00pm and then pick up my friend. So there should be plenty time for the 1-stop trip to the airport considering my flight is at 2:30pm. Eventually I got picked up around 12:40pm. By the time we got on the freeway, my dad and I had the following conversation.

Dad, "Omg, it is almost 1?"
Me, "huh, I thought you always 'plan' everything so carefully, what is the surprise."

"I thought it was 12:00, I came out around 11:30ish"
"hmm, ok."
"Omg, I forgot to change the time on my watch."

I was just like, yeah, that is funny. It is so typical. He always does things with extra attention, attention spent on the wrong places that is. It is so typical of him. Everything he does has this unnecessary dramatic effect that just tends to piss me off a lot. I didn't say anything about him being late because there was no use to talk about it then.

Finally we made to the airport around 1:50pm. At the check-in counter, the guy told us that it was too late. My friend's jaw literally dropped to the floor. I didn't panic because in my mind, they just cannot depart without us. It turned out that my instinct was right and that douche bag was just being a well a douche bag causing unnecessary anxieties for us. However, the only requirement for us to board plane was that we cannot check in any bags. We of course had to agree. So we ran to the check stop only to find out that I cannot bring the following items in my bag,

Toothpaste - $3
Moisturizer - $45
Hair Clay - $16
Naturgo Face Wash - $10
Sunscreen lotion - $20
Watching the guy forced me to throw away all this and feeling like my face has been pooped on before my vacation even started - priceless.

Monday, March 19, 2007

Spring Break is OVER!

So sad... I can already foresee all the monstrous work piling up in the near future. It stresses me out just thinking about it. Arrgg... I miss Hawaii and I wish I could have stayed longer. I am going to blog about it soon.

Yesterday I had a road rage episode. I haven't had road rage for a while and yesterday somehow it just came right out of me. I went to the mall to buy moisturizer and hair clay. Walking around that horrible place for more than one hour looking for the specific stores just made me very irritated. It was stuffy, noisy, and confusing. I ended up spending 10 bucks extra for less. The moisturizer is smaller size than the one I had before and costs the same and the hair clay costs 5 bucks extra for regular instead of extra strength. I was just really annoyed by the end of the whole deal. I really thought I could just walk in and get out in 15 minutes. I felt that I have wasted my life for something as stupid as shopping for hygiene items.

Anyway when I came out of the mall, there was a white Honda in front of me and refused to make a right turn despite the fact that there was no car passing in her lane. The road is called Huntington Drive, one of the wides fucking road you can find in LA. It is almost as wide as regular freeway. I dont know what the hell was wrong with that bitch but apparently she felt it was necessary to waste more time for me and others behind us. I saw her in her rear mirror and she seemed to be distracted. So I did any rational man would do in that situation--honk the shit out of her. She wasn't amused by my friendly reminder and give me a finger in the backview mirror. So I kindly returned my finger. But then the rage was ON. I drove next to her till the first stop light and stared at her. She gave me more finger puppets. I returned more. Then I rolled down my window politely asked her if she learned how to make a fucking right turn in her fucking life. She rolled up her window to not listen to me. That was just rude. In order to grab her attention, I grabbed a handful of pennies that I saved up for occasions like and smashed them on the side of her car. She was genuinely surprised by the act and got extremely mad. Got two items from her car and threw at me too. I didn't even look at her direction and only showed my gratitude to her sportsmanship by showing my fingers. I figured she ran out of ammunition, so I grabbed my waterbottle and tossed over. She was bloody pissed and I was on cloud nine. The light turned green, I sped up cut her off and changed lane in the middle of the intersection and suddenly slowed down to 15 miles per hour and she honked furiously. I returned more fingers. Then I proceeded to drive in front of her for 10 miles per hour speed. As soon as she changed lane to make a left turn I sped up.

1 min later, the rage was gone. It was seriously like an out of body experience. @_@... I think I could be an world class asshole now. lol~~~

Saturday, March 17, 2007

To Tim from Italy

What is up buddy. I know you are still around but haven't logged on AIM much. Busy? Drop a line miss talking to you! Hope all is well :p

Friday, March 16, 2007

Ahhh I am so mad

Ok I just came back from Hawaii, tired and burned. So I cancelled my trainer early on Thursday and rescheduled it on Friday at 9:00am. I am pretty dedicated and I really don't want to miss regular sessions. But I am exhausted and 9:00am is a bit early. It turns out that it is too early indeed and I can't wake up this morning. So I called in and left a message saying that I am really sorry but I would like to reschedule again. First he didn't pick up my call twice and after I left my voicemail for about 5 mins, he texted me back saying that he was sorry but he had to pull my voucher (which means he charged 75 bucks even though we had no training), because they have store policy of cancelling 24 prior to the appointment, and he already cut me some slack yesterday and he wasn't going to do it again.

WTF, what happened to the "personal training". I am pretty dedicated and grateful too all the stuff we are doing and I am not the sketchy type. I never cancel my appointment. The one time I cancel, he goes all authoratative on me. He has to be that fucking money hungry. If he wanted, he really didn't have to pull that voucher since he does all his scheduling himself. He didn't even tell me I had to cancel 24 hour prior since when I canceled on Thursday it was about 8 hour notice. If he was cutting me slack on Thursday, then he should have said something. It is a fucking customer service world. What does he expect? I fucking read the 4 pages long contract and capture every single detail? I hate people think they are irreplaceable. People in the service industry also need to know that customer service that really doing exactly what the customers want goes a long way.

So, I fucking canceled his ass. I am getting a new trainer. He can go suck my big fat cock with his attitude and his training. I am sure I will fucking live tomorrow without his training.

Dear god this is the first thing that happens after I come back this is great.

Monday, March 12, 2007

Going to Hawaii in a couple of hours

Today is the day and I am leaving pretty soon. The flight is in 3 hours!! I am pretty excited.

I woke up pretty early in the morning and went to school for my HIV test. I thought I could get the rapid testing and get the result right away. But they told me that the school doesn't do rapid testing and the result takes 1 week to be delivered. Also they do not do anoymous testing in Spring break. So I schedule to the test for the week after the break and my result will come back the week after. Oh man... I guess I will have to wait for the whole two weeks then. One more week delay, that is one more week of accuracy I guess... Is this a good sign?? I am getting all superstitious.

Sunday, March 11, 2007

Weekend and trip

It was Hester's bday today. But we decided to celebrate it on Saturday. I wanted to surprise her a little so I told her that we were gonna have dinner alone on Saturday and I was not going to the club afterward. She was excited for the dinner but disappointed by my absence to the clubs. So eventually she didn't feel like going to club anymore either despite the face that her promoter friend has printed her face on the flier for that night. So I called up some friends and told them to meet us at 7:00pm in Grand Lux Cafe at Beverly Center. Her sister couldn't come back due to school stuff and her non-USC friends couldn't make it either. It was weird. Since they are her friends I imaged that they would show up for sure. It turned out that they weren't even enthusiastic enough to call me back... oh well.

Saturday morning, I had to wake up early to buy Hester gifts. So I called up Dodona for a short shopping trip. Her two friends came along too. So four of us spent the whole day at Beverly Hills. It was kinda insane, we saw 5 Bentley GTC, 4 Ferrari, 2 Lambo, 1 Aston Martin, and 1 Rolls Royce. I never remembered seeing this many good cars in one day. Most of the drivers were very young too. ah... the great American capitalists at its finest display lol...

We had lunch at an Italian restaurant. Even though all of them didn't like the lunch, I absolutely loved it. With good food in my belly, we started shopping. It wasn't really exciting. My pocket ain't deep and no one was there for a shopping spree. Finally I picked up a gold bracelet of bones at Kiston. It was very tiny. It could barely fit on my wrist and I really thought it wasn't for human when I just saw it. Then I saw the poster on the display tank. It was Nicole Riche, and these items are kinda endorsed by her. WELL THAT MAKES SENSE then. Just look at her wrist, anything can fit!! I didn't see any celebrity there. I have never seen big time celebrity in my life... well except once at Grove, I saw Ben Stiller that is it! Ah, I am off my train of thoughts again. Ok the bracelet, I eventually found out that it was by Disney Couture. GOD DAMN DISNEY, WHY ARE THEY EVERYWHERE. I am so not a big fan of the Disney's....

Long story short, we made to the dinner. It must have been funny if it were a movie. The restaurant didn't take reservation. Since Michelle works there I thought we could get a table for sure. Man was I wrong. The place was PACKED, even the take out table had a huge line piled up. The surprise party was hiding away from Hester and I. Since Hester had no idea that they were there, and she didn't want to stand at one place, she just wandered around talking to me. I wasn't wearing my glasses so I couldn't see where our party people were. I was thinking omg we are gonna run into each other for sure. But our friends play good rats, they hid behind walls, behind the bar AND EVEN THE KITCHEN. Yes, the actual KITCHEN. They were kicked out soon though. At one point, Hester was on the phone outside so I came in and handed my gift to those friends. When I turned around I saw Hester right there behind me. I was like " HIIIII", and thought, oh man I blew my cover. But luckily due to my height her petite size, she didn't see anyone. HAHA. It was pretty funny. After 1 hour 20 mins of waiting which really seemed to continue forever, we got our table and the surprise was very successful. It was a great feeling. I was dead tired and opted the clubbing idea. They eventually went to Highland and partied away. But later I heard that Kiki lost her cellphone so the whole night was more about finding her cell than dancing. lol~~~~~ glad I didn't go.

The trip... I am going to Hawaii afterall. It is going to be 3 days 2 nights. It is a very short trip but I hope it is going to be fun. However, I have one last hurdle to overcome. I have an blood test for HIV on Monday at 10:00am. My flight is at 2:30pm. I hope I can do both. And of course most importantly I hope the result is NEGATIVE.... sigh.. beh... oh well signing off.

Tuesday, March 06, 2007

Life goes on and on

Somtimes it feels so passive. I can't define what "it" is. It is not just life per se, it is everything around me. Life is a bit overgeneralizing. Life isn't passive, but pieces can be extremely passive at times. That is how I felt lately. Emotionally laziness probably.

I attended the Urap thing on Monday again, and there was an energetic lesbian student lectured feminism. For a bit I really felt it, the culture revolution and blah blha blha. Ok, it is something important, but I was really tired and at that time I really just didn't give a crap. I didn't care if feminism traps both male and females. It was just so technical philosophically that I really felt that my brain wasn't up for the challenge to actively digest the information and produce useful thoughts.

I have been watching the show Queer as Folks. The title is rather interesting. The original meaning of the phrase "queer as folks" indicates that there is nothing more strange than people, our folks. In this case, it is very appropriate for both its idea and content. The show is pretty addictive. I have to admire the producers. The show is obviously not high budget, at least at season one, and actors are pretty appropriately casted. I especially like the main character Mickey, he is so cute and kind and his smile is something I can look at forever. Interesting enough that at least half of the actors are straight. You would image after all that constant buttnaked running around and on screen making out would at least make them wonder. But I guess if you are straight you are straight! Yes, watching TV makes me feel passive the most among all things. I just sit there and watch the story unfold. I have different emtions throughout each episode but toward the end all I feel is that I am addicted to the show. I think the result is pretty passive too.

My friend Hester's bday is coming up this Saturday and I am calling her friends to have a surprise dinner set up. In this process I suddenly realized that I don't have a very close guy friend from USC whom I feel comfortable enough to invite. I mean they wouldn't know her or know her that well at all. It'd be kinda weird asking people who I want to hang out with to this dinner party. Some of my older buddies are either not in LA or not in USC and people who are in USC are kinda like clubbing buddies, party attendees, and aim chatwhores. This is when I wish I could be people like JP Mac from Overnight in NY. I still have no idea how it feels to have a brother or brother figure in my life feels. Then I was thinking, am I bound to have lots gay guy friends in the future? What it takes to have a straight guy friend? My other straight guy friends are well straight and when we were hanging out it was when I was still in the closet. I remembered we would go snowboard, go to the beach, and talk about chicks etc. Now that everyone is so busy what does it take? Do I have to be passionate about sports in order to start up a conversation? I mean I can talk about chicks but that is really not something I am too interested in. I was reading Detail magazine today and in one of the articles it talks about how guys talk to each other about fertility. I used to think subject like that is pretty gay. I am just kinda confused. When I am really confused I tend to do nothing and think about nothing. Pretty passive again...

Next week is spring break and Hester proposed going to Hawaii. I wanted to go but then decided not to because it is gonna cost me a lot of money. But then at school when u hear everytone is going the South Beach, Cancun, Bahamus, etc, I feel like a loser not going anywhere. SO!! I guess will have to go afterall! But then I haven't work out the details yet. Hester said she would look up the prices so now I am just too lazy to look it up. This thing also bothers me back to the point I made in the previous paragraph. I have never gone on a long road trip with just bunch of guys. The last trip was with bunch Dinsey college interns to Catalina Island. There were guys but none of them made me feel connected. Also, at the bon fire that night, they started to talk about politics which turned out to be kinda weird for that setting... But anyways, yeah, I am just like what the hell is going on. Little by little, before I know it I suddenly find myself having more female friends than male friends in my life. That feels so no not masculine and so GAY!! What is going on... I think I am probably socially challenged. lol.

I am kinda frustrated beh.... we will see how it goes. Maybe that Hawaii trip is exactly what I need...

Sunday, March 04, 2007

A Gift of Nothing

I was hanging out with my little sister yesterday, and we were talking about random stuff. Then she told me that she has just read a book which was given to her by one of her old friends. The book was called A Gift of Nothing and she said she was touched immensely after she read it. Her boyfriend got annoyed by it because the the person who gave her the book was a guy and has known her for a very long time, way before she started dating her boyfriend. Haha... Her boyfriend is very easy to get jealous. He is jealous of me being with her ALL the FUCKING TIME. oh well...

Anyway, she told me the story of the book and I think it was a great concept too and apparently everyone would have moment like that at least once in their life time. When it does happen, it seems that life can't get any better.

The story is like this...

Girl has a cat and the girl is very wealthy, so the cat has everything. The cat has nice clothes, play toys, and a big house. The girl loves the cat very much. There is also a boy in the story who happens to be the girl's best friend. The girl's birthday is coming up and the boy wants to give the girl a very nice gift. So he starts to search for gifts for her. He thinks that giving the cat something might be nice since the girl loves the cat so much. But then he realizes that both the girl and cat have everything that they need or desire in their life. There is nothing give. "Nothing to give", he toys with this idea and then decides to give her "nothing". So he shops around the town and found a very big box and wraps it with nice paper. On her birthday, he gives the box to her and tells her that it is for her cat. She is very excited and opens the big box. The cat leaps in and finds that there is nothing in there. The girl looks at the box and also finds nothing. But then, it feels so great. The boy, the girl, and the cat just sat there having nothing in hand to celebrate. But then they really have everything; they have each other. Three of them just sat enjoyed each other's company because after all that is everything that really matters. Nothing is everything.

Saturday, March 03, 2007

It was actually fun

Midterms were over and I really wanted to go out again, so I called up Alper and Hester and asked them to go out on Friday night. Alper said that we could stop by his friend's birthday "thing" and then go to a club. The plan was to meet at his place around 9:00pm. Well given the fact that I can't be on time to anything, that plan was pretty ambitious. It turned out that it was indeed too early for my nature. I didn't sleep much on Thursday night thanks to video game and Queer as Folks. I believe that I slept around 6:00am. In addition, the new training routine's aftermath kicked in full gear on Friday. I was soring so bad that everytime I stood up or sat down my ass hurt like crazy. Damn those new heavy weights on my squads >_<....

Anyways, I woke up around 12:00pm by a phone call from my friend Michele. We decided to eat. I got ready around 1:00pm and we got to the Korean BBQ place we wanted by 2:30pm. Ate a shitload of beef since it was all you can eat. Man there goes my workout =/... It was good. I didn't know what it was but I felt that it wasn't as smooth and effortless as before when I talked to her. I remembered that before she went back to the Philippines for vacation, I used to be able to talk to her just about whatever and never had a quiet moment. Even though it was almost like that today, and we laughed here and there but I felt that I had to make some effort for the conversations. It was a strange feeling and I never liked it when I feel that with my friends. Once we finished, I had a major food coma and the traffic on I-10 east was as horrible as it could get. After 1 hour of sleepy driving, I got home. I really really wanted to take a nap but then Hester wanted to run. So I was thinking since I ate so much food I shouldn't get lazy and become fat again. Running it is. Even though I jogged slowly for 2 miles (very slow, I was on par with Hester's pace and she is 5'2'' and I am almost 6'1") and ran fast for only 1 mile, I still felt extremely exhausted afterward. The running definitely didn't help with the pain on my ass and thighs. Fast forward, we got to Alper's place at 10:20pm instead of the scheduled 9:00pm and I was sleepy and tired as hell. I was thinking, great tonight is gonna suck and I never liked clubbing that much anyway....

We went to Abbeys first. It was weird, a lot of good looking people as always but then it wasn't as crowded as before and the no one is dancing on the dancing area. It became a indoor patio where everyone was just chatting.... Hester and Alper downed 2 Tequila based drinks already, 1 hot and 1 drink and I only had a beer. So they were ready to dance. We came out of Abbey in 30 mins and headed to Mickey's. We peeked inside from the door and it doesn't look like there were a lot of people in there dancing. So we finally decided to go back to Rage. This is my second time at Rage and the first time wasn't really that much fun at all. I didn't blog about it because it was frustrating and people had bad attitude etc it was overwhelming. Tonight, it was ASIAN night. Ok, I never liked the idea of having a specific group at club. It just feels so isolated. But the crowded was actually somewhat mixed. A dozen of white, Hispanic and blacks inside. In the beginning I was just dancing with Hester and she kept pushing me around to mingle. I was like, don't push me!! I would mingle just give me sometime. Alper was drinking outside again. There was a white guy dancing behind me a bit but then I was dancing with Hester and he probably thought I wasn't interested and left dancing alone. I was like.. omg man you are stupid why didn't you turn around! He was actually kinda cute. But it was too late, the dance floor was pretty crowded and he disappeared in the artificial fog. So we came out a bit after 20 mins dancing and saw a white feminine guy in red dancing like crazy. Hester saw him and started to dance. Only 3 moves later, he picked up Hester (he wasn't a big guy and the way he picked her up actually surprised me, it is like an ant picked up an Elephant. Ok this is a bad analogy since Hester is really fit and petite, ok... I should stop here now) to dry humping her in the air. Well he looked slutty enough, so I started dancing with him. Only after a little while later I found myself licking his neck and making out. Ok it was kinda weird because he was pretty slutty. His ass was humping me hard and he was grabbing on me really hard too. Then Alper came in started to dance with him and they started to kiss too. So I left them to be. I turned around saw this cute guy dancing alone so I just said hi and danced with him. It turned out that he was Brazilian and just moved to California. I was thinking, great, I could probably ask him out later. But what was weird about it was that we danced together closely but not really at the same time. We were dancing but he kept looking afar and even when we were hugging and grinding his eyes were still just had this empty stare at some mysterious place. That was a big turn off actually. After 30 mins he wasn't moving as crazy anymore and I thought he was tired, so I asked him if he wanted to go outside and get some air. He said he wanted to stay in. I was like, alrighty then, goodbye.

I came out and saw Hester and we both went outside for some air. The patio outside was bumper to bumper tight. People were talking and smoking. A lot of very queer guys with lots greeting, screaming, and kissing. All I could hear was OMG OMG OMG. I wasn't really into it at that moment. Then Hester heard someone talking in her Philippine language next to us and started to talk to them. Then they started to talk about me and kept laughing and screaming. It was weird and kinda embarrassing since I had no idea what they were talking about. Hester told me that they said I was cute and wondering if I had a big tool down there. Hmmm very quality conversation lol... So we started to talk and taking pictures outside for the rest of the night, which is about 40 mins haha. The place closed at 2:00am. It was great to meet those people though, they were really easy to talk to and fun at the same time. I talked to bunch other people and actually went back in briefly to see if the Brazilian guy was still in there. No luck but it didn't matter since I didn't really want to talk to him all that badly.

I came home and played some games then watched Queer as Folks till fucking 7:30 in the morning. Now I just woke up, it is 3:30pm~~~~~~~~~~~~~ sigh, a day wasted....

Thursday, March 01, 2007

YUm.... A nap

Finally, my busiest month has ended in a mediocre note haha. Finished my final and midterm on Tues. and Weds and resumed my workout routine today. I am so refreshed. I even took a nap this afternoon!! A NAP. Omg, it is unreal. I felt like I have totally nerded out in the past 3 weeks. Preparing for midterm non-stop is never fun. Anyways, it is all over now till next midterm sessions....

I went to the gym today as I just mentioned. My work out routine has been modified. For the past 5 weeks, I worked on my back, shoulder, legs, and a lot of stabilizer muscles. It was categorized as total body workout. The purpose is to make my fundamental muscles on par with my target muscles. According to my trainer, those fundamental muscles I have is pretty weak lol.... Now he thinks that I am ready for new routines. Switching from total body workout, we are going to do pull-push workouts. Pull in one day and push in the other and the 3rd workout day should be total body again. The pull workout pretty much consists of all exercises that involve pulling motions haha duh, and the push workout.. well I am sure you can figure it out.

Besides the new workout routine, we also did my second body assessment test. It's been 5 weeks since we started. The result could have been better since I started to workout 3-4 times a week and run in the 3rd week. But anyways, the results are: 3% body fat reduction, total body fat is around 15% atm. Total weight lost is 7 lbs. I am pretty happy about it. My trainer also measured my key area circumferences this time as well since we are going to target those key muscles from now on. I can already see some differences in the mirror! I can't wait till summer comes!