The Sunday Blue

At least it is no longer sunday anxiety attack. I remember when I was like 7-10 years old, every Sunday night I would get anxiety attacks. I hated school and it just felt like a long road in hell that has no end. 

Now it is just blue because everything is so routine. Life goes through a factory that only produces repeated motions. It is just this close to feel like the robotic virtual reality that was created in Matrix. Gah........

You know Mariah Carey's new cd is growing on me a bit. But still, her amazing voice is at times quite an endurance exercise for my ears. I can only handle so much high pitched fierceness. 

Oh yeah I spent like 3 hours watching hip hop choreography on youtube and wishing my body is not a piece of log. 

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Weekend kinda passed by unnoticed. I was supposed to go somewhere on Friday night but ended up chilling at home. 

On Saturday, I trained with my dear hot trainer in the morning and he killed my ass and legs. Then I got my much needed haircut. Spent 1 hour at a sunglasses store with my friend dodo ended up buying nothing, I wished I didn't have such giant head... nothing fits well. I wanted to buy a pair that is different from the one I am using, which is a pair of Prada one piece shield style. But all other styles aren't big enough... arg... We stuffed our faces with good food and then I went home waiting for my clubbing friends to call. But it turned out that they had contingent plans that they couldn't skip. Feeling lazy and a bit tired, I didn't want to stay up and wait till possibly as late as 1200 to head out to Weho. That would be just too much work for some dancing. 

To counsel to my damaged spirit, I started to listen to Kylie Minogue again. Only to find my spirit got damaged further because the music was so dance oriented -_-..

Went to fbuddy's place today. Hot actions whatnot.. but he went limp toward the end. That is a first... He's been always very hard and vigorous. Not today... Sigh... to accommodate his lack of passion, I had to help to finish the business and resulted a bad after taste of lube in my mouth. god... story of my life...  Stuffed my face again with Dodo today and I bought a cake for a friend of ours since it is his bday. 

Oh talking about awkwardness, Dodo's brother finally brought a girl home. Well this would be the second girl after he dumped his first long term gf since she cheated on him. His first girl after his breakup with the girlfriend was a hooker.... This one was at least a normal person. Dodo wouldn't mind. I mean everyone has to have sex; it is a normal demand. There was only one problem, that girl was a big moaner. Around 1:00am on Saturday, Dodo logged online and said,

"OMFG, OMGGGGGG!"

"what... sup, what is going on."

"you cannot believe what just happened. I am so fucking pissed. I have a COW in my house."

"hmm it is 1:00am what kinda shenanigans just happened? what cow..."

"my brother just called and asked me if I was going out, I mean it is 1200 why would I go out at this time you know. "

"dear god, he is bringing girls home."

"YEAH!!! and he told me just don't roam around the house. So I was like fine whatever, sex is normal. But guess what, about 5 mins later, I heard a cow! A COW!!"

"huh... you mean she moans very loudly?"

"you cannot believe it. It is so freaking loud. It is like she is turning into a beast in there. Sounded like a whore. So fucking gross. I do not need to hear this. So I slammed my door and they stopped. I thought that was that and got a bit relieved. 5 mins later they started again. She just won't stfu. Freaking moaning..."

"lol.... this is kinda funny actually... lol...."

"not funny, and I can hear the "clap clap clap" sound. SO FUCKING TWISTED. I don't want to know my brother is fucking a cow."

"god.. so harsh. hey at least he is good you know. and long lasting, it is all the good qualities, you should be proud."

"er.. enough said you aren't helping at all! argg."

Come on it is kinda funny right. lol... So today when we were stuffing our faces with curry chicken and soft bread, we talked about this again and laughed some more. ah so silly. 

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Another week is over. Tens of thousands of gays just got blown, rimmed, fucked, drugged in palm springs. Another ecstatic orgy of loneliness. I wished I was there to be engulfed in that kind of mind fucking. But I actually wished more for an emotional harbor. Since the latter doesn't come easily, other indulgences appear to be more desirable at this moment...