I cried just a tiny little bit

Ok I am such a sucker for things like this. arggg, but isn't he amazing. Angelic voice le sigh.



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Today I got UCLA hunk's aim, and we basically chatted up the whole day. From no expectation to extremely high expectation. We had so much fun talking and flirting and he sounded like the exact kind of guy I want in my life as a boyfriend. Also, he was part of the air force reserve back in college, so he did the training and the whole shebang, so freaking HOT!!! You see how stupid I am? I haven't seen him, just saw a couple pictures then talked to him on aim and now i am already thinking about being his boyfriend. Sigh... never learn!.... But we both enjoyed the conversation throughout the entire day and we planned to meet up on Thursday for dinner. See if I don't know him then I can be completely confident. But now after talking, I have expectations and I want him have his expectation from me fulfilled and suddenly I am not as confident. The doubts flooded in. What if he doesn't find me attractive, what if our conversation becomes dull, what if ... I know it is so stupid. We should find out the answers for all that soon. Well in three days.

I also got a chance to talk to my Black guy friend. He messaged me last night and then logged off because according to him I wasn't very talkative at the moment. So this morning, we started talking and he suddenly lashed out at Asians. Actually, he soon started to lash out against dudes in general, saying how he got hurt by games all the time and people are just generally fake. I somehow wasn't phased by his tantrum by the slightest. I was calm and I proceeded to show him why his accusations of Asians were unfound. Well his accusations definitely hold true to a lot of Asian people but I believe most of them are still generally good people and I really felt the responsibility to build the racial connection and defend my own people in this microscopic way. Finally good reasoning won out and he admitted that he was just frustrated. But after this incident, I can guarantee that I will not fool around with him ever again. That is for sure.

On the other hand, work related thing, I am forced to work TWO hours overtime everyday for the next three weeks. Also, I might be forced to come in ON SATURDAYS. Ok Fuck this shit really. For the amount of money I make I really shouldn't be required to come in on SATURDAY. The work is stressful in the first couple weeks but we are all adults here and if the work is not done I think we will do overtime as needed so that we can finish. Enforcing overtime is one of the most irresponsible thing a manage team can do. If the worker is incompetent the overtime will just still be wasted anyway. Let the employee work overtime based on their schedule as long as the work is done and done well right?

I really believe this is one big problem with corporate America. If the top management is anal, micro management and recruiting all the mindless peons instead of seeking out talents, then yes, the corporate culture would suffer. Because that management style would trigger down from top all the way to the bottom. Also, the corporate America is still ruled by the baby boomers who learned management styles from their past experiences. A lot of them use micro management and iron fist rule to feel secure and maintain dignity. But that does not bode well with our generation, period. 

In my business major back in USC, we took at least 2 semester classes mainly focused on business communications and learn the difference of professional communication and personal communication. But alas, who gives a shit about the difference. Some of the psycho managers often throw their tantrum at their employees and employ their personal humor or style at will with no regard how the other party would feel about that whatsoever. What they don't know is that their personal humor/style comes off either arrogant, thoughtless or simply buttplug style bitchy.  We should always remember that being in a supervision position simply means that you have a better knowledge and have the ability to lead. We didn't elect you as a manager/supervisor with a popularity contest. So I don't know what made them feel like their personality is the shining star that comes out every fucking 10 mins to blind others.

Micro management is the past and I think human resource should be more strategic. Asking your employee to log in activities on Outlook EVERY FUCKING HOUR is not how you guarantee that they have something to do. IF your employee started slacking, then it is either you as a manager didn't plan the workload for them well so that they are overwhelmed in the beginning and now they just don't have stuff to do, OR they are not qualified employees. I mean if they can't work under supervision, then you should get a new person on your team. Doing stupid micro managing shenanigans is only a waste of time for everyone and has nothing to boost morale which is so vital for the turn over. Let me tell you our turn over is ugly. Work content is one thing but management is a huge factor as well. Just because the company is huge doesn't mean that they can literally afford to lose anyone. Especially considering the entertainment industry is on the verge of being revolutionized with new media, I don't know how the old method seems to be a good idea to continue. Talent is everything on all levels. God I can go on and on with this.

Luckily I have had a good manager for three quarters who didn't micro manage. However I have witnessed enough to worry. My manager is changing position in this up coming quarter. I hope my new manager isn't going to be a talentless drone.