Fuck requesting much?

I should be happy about it but I still don't. I think I should go to an ex-gay program because for chicks, since I am not sexually attracted to them all I see is inner beauty anyway lol~~~

One of the super hot guys I have been talking to a little bit just messaged me asking when I can have some fun with him. This is his pics

Hopefully he is not flaky.

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Another guy is this 18 year old black dude who is 6'4", 210 lb, masc. Sounds like fun. But I am just not too attracted to black guys sigh...

I also just got another really hot guy's aim but haven't really done much talking yet.

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All of this is afterall just all talking. I don't know. After last night's fiasco, I find myself still longing for a relationship. Why am I such a sucker who doesn't learn,. I should just fuck all of them and write them in my little black book, like trophies you know. But that is really not what I want the most. I mean I do want them lol~~~~

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I also want to meet this guy who blew me off 2 weeks ago. The over sleeper. He was really kind and sweet last night for listening to my rant about how pissed I was.  I don't know what I should do. We do like same sort of things and we like to talk about culture and politics, which is cool. But because I was retarded so that now HE READS THIS BLOG, he pretty much knows exactly what is going on. Not only there is no mystery but also it is kinda embarrassing. Now if I do ask him to do something, then hey you, who is reading it now, I am just gonna talk to you directly, you would probably feel like you are picking up a piece of left over, which is not a healthy start for any kind of relationship, including even just mere friendship. So yeah I dont know what to do with you.

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I SWEAR I am no where near dramatic in real life. I guess online is like a place for my bad side to come out.