A kinda dysfunctional friendship

One----

Sitting on her bed surfing through various websites. In the background, Charter TV has been vomiting trashy contents at me since I turned it on. I guess I can appreciate good shows but overall I think TV is such waste of time...

"come on bring me to dinner tonight. I haven't hung out with you for the whole week."

"ah... it is the gay night. I got gay bloggers coming from out of town, they don't even know you. I don't even know them! It could be very weird."

"so? then it is perfect, all strangers, if they are down, we can have a good time no matter what."

"I guess it is true."

"ok I am going then."

She turned around going through her dresses.

I took out my cellphone and texting the guest gays regarding this intrusion.

She took off her bra. I have seen her kinda naked but not actually this naked. This is first pair of female boobs I have seen that don't belong to
1. stripper
2. wasted college chick

She stood there with her giant boobs and big nipples all bare and looking back.

"what, don't tell me you haven't seen boobs before. I know you are gay but you should have at least SEEN these."

"hmmm I have, and touched too but from a stripper."
"why do straight guys like those? they are just two giant fat mellon hanging. They actually kinda look scary. They could cause injuries, like black eyes or suffocation I think."

"shut up just because you don't like it doesn't mean they are bad."

"so B (her bf) loves them."

"oh yeah you should listen to him moan."

"like a nice bottom boy."

"exactly."

"hot."

I waved. She walked over. I squeezed.

"firm very nice. "

"of course."
"should I wear this dress."

"no too flowy, don't wear it at night."
"wear that blue one, and I want super high heels on you. ok I think u look good now."


Sidenote, she refers me as Cousin in front of everyone who doesn't know me.
---

Two---

After dinner we realized that we had to stop by a straight club for her friend's bday. I started moaning saying that I really wouldn't want to go. She said she would waste her dress's appearance if she doesn't. So the straight club it is.

"who is the bday guy anyway? did he go to USC too?"

"yeah! BR, you don't know him? I think you should, he works at Big Four right now."

"what is his last name?"

"xxx"

"omg I do know him and no one liked him! Coz he was an ex marine and anal about everything!"

"oh fuck that is just great. "

"so he knows I am coming?"

"yeah! I told him that you are my cousin already"

"hmmm make sure we don't start grinding in the club then. I so do not want to grind my cousin in front of him."

"god i hate this."