If you got two cows

I just read this thing and it is kinda funny. I am sure there is a lot of things like this out there, but cows just sound better

Traditional Company -
You've got two cows, so you sell one and then purchase a bull with money. From there you will raise a herd of cows and start to make profits. At the end you sell all of them and happily retire.

American Company -
You've got two cows, so you sell one and then force the other one to produce milk as much as four cows combined. When the cow exhausts to death, you are sincerely surprised by the outcome.

French Company -
You've got two cows, but you are still on strike because what you really want is three cows.

Japanese Company -
You've got two cows, so you re-engineered them so that their sizes are only 10% of what they are used to be and milk production increased by 2000%. Then you name them Cowkimon and sell the product and brand image to the entire world.

Germany Gompany -
You've got two cows, and your scientists genetically altered them so that they can live up to 100 years old, only need to be fed once a month, and they can milk themselves.

British Company -
You've got two cows, and they are all mad cows.

Italian Company -
You've got two cows, but you have no idea where they are, so you take it easy and go to brunch.

Russian Company -
You've got two cows. You count them once and realize that you actually have 5 cows. So you count again, and this time you've got 46 cows. Not convinced, you count one more time and this time you've got 12 cows. You got extremely irritated by all the number counting and confusion, so you opened up another bottle of Vodka.

Swiss Company -
You've got 5000 cows and none of them belongs to you. You earn your money by protecting these cows for the owners.

Chinese Company -
You've got two cows, and you place 300 people to milk these two cows. Publically, you claim that the reason is productivity has increased and the cows are highly efficient and at the same time try to capture the journalists who are trying to report the truth.

Indian Company -
You've got two cows, and you worship them.

Taiwan Company -
You've got two cows, and bunch of people are protesting because you are about to send one of them to mainland China. But actually one of your cows is already in mainland China.