Friday, May 09, 2008

Wow... this could be fatal

Ok, I think my mom just accidentally outted me to my dad and my dad has been mad at my mom regarding business stuff. So now I am not even sure what he is mad about at this moment. He didnt come home till now and he is on his way. He didn't talk much which makes it all that more creepy. I am seriously worried about my safety and my mom's safety. What if he stabs all of us to death and burn the house down? And my stupid mom, she loved my conversation with her regarding gay issue so much that she copy/pasted it from MSN messager and sent a copy of the transcript to herself. Of course my mom and dad use the same email account and he read it.

He then asked my mom about the conversation. Even though all my talking was in English, but my mom typed in Chinese and made it pretty obvious that we were talking about me. So he asked my mom "what exactly was this conversation about? Is there anything between you and him?"

I have no idea waht I should do right now. I was worried if he commits suicide just now because he didn't come home now I think he will probably go for homicide instead. It is kinda sad that I think my dad is capable of this but I really think he is.

I really don't need this right now. This is truly fucked up.


--- update,

now he walked looking very depressed. I didn't look up because i didn't want to make eye contact and my heart is beating very fast. It's been such a long time that I somehow lost all my courage and confidence in front of him. He walked straight to the bathroom and took out some underwear that I put there to dry and tossed them on the chair. He locked door and started blowing his nose 3 times. I wonder if he is crying. Then my mom came back and we started talking a bit about what we should do. Then suddenly we hear the shower.

I am so freaking nervous rright now it is feels surreal.

Shower just stopped and I am carefully listening to the sound coming from the bathroom. Silence...

I just went downstairs to calm my mom because she is rambling about how careless now. I am like god freaking calm down apparently you are being careless as right now. What if he comes down and hears you right now. She is losing it.

Came back up stairs and I can hear hair blowdrier. Hmmm All this sounds so creepy. I feel it is too calm. The daily routine suddenly feels like a final preparation before execution. God I hope today just passes as if nothing happened. But who am I kidding, my mom said that he was reading a DICTIONARY when she arrived at the office. I think he is also shaving right now... omfg...

He came out looking all sad and having a blank stare. He went to his room and locked the door. Now my mom is asking him to open the door and he said he is going to sleep. But he refuses. Sigh wtf is going on. She is asking him to eat and he said leave him alone.

It is over. He knows.

13 comments:

ToddC said...

Hey.. I don't know you, nor you me. But trust me -- things will get better and life will go on. It just takes time. You're in a scary part right now but it will transition to something better over time. Just give it time and things will improve.

Unknown said...

i hope your dad doesnt do anything like that...he may feel let down...but this is a good thing be open to your parent will make your relationship stronger...he maybe depress now...but i think when you guys get to talk with your mum there there will be at least an understanding...
just be positive ^^

dit said...

Hang in there. Just try and stay calm. Understand this is not an easy situation. Try and lay low. People need time to digest things and perhaps that is just what he is doing. Thoughts are with you.

Hamilton said...

yeah I am still alive. but he is still very pissed at this moment. He isn't talking to my mom at all and went to the bank this morning @_@. I think most likely he has figured it out. We still do not know what to do next. Life's been pretty calm and great before this. And now it is unnecessary headache. My mom is still in awe that she has done something this stupid. sigh

Christian said...

I hope everything is okay. I hope you are okay!

mstpbound said...

DL HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUG :( :( :( i'm so sorry you are going through this right now! wishing you all the support in the world from the east coast....

Phoenix said...

come here (huuuugggg)
I'm so sorry but hang in there. These guys are right, dont freak out too much and the storm will calm down. If you feel alone you can always come back here and talk to us.
I know it looks like it sucks right now but it wont be that way for ever. I am pitiful and consolation or whatever this is but you know what I am saying, if not then re-read the above comments.

Phoenix said...

at not and

dit said...

Hope all turned out ok. Let us know when you can. Best wishes and thinking about you.

Phil said...

Situations like that are never fun. I hope things return to normal. I'm no good at offering comforting words.

phoenix said...

You okay?
Hope things worked out, let us know as soon as you can.

Nick said...

hope its all cool, sometimes these things happen for a reason, gotta be strong xxx

Hamilton said...

thank you everyone for the comment! I really really appreciate it. I don't know blog has been my little venting places and I have to say that when that happened, I was like ostrich that dug its head under the blogging sand. I was literally typing away so that I didn't have to look up when he walked around like a bomb.

Again, thanks for the well wishes! ~~

<3