A Yes Voter @ Work

There is this coworker, R, with whom I have been hanging out for lunch for quite some times now.  I knew him back at school.  We weren't friends; we didn't even talk much.  Small world, he landed a job in my department.  We both graduated from the same school, both single child, both from conservative and traditional families - one Armenian, one Chinese. 

From conversation to conversation, I can sense a little bit of that juvenile verbal gay bash, such as oh that is so gay, etc.  It is to my dismay, but I am not going to make a big fuzz about it.  However, if he uses faggot, I would probably sulk him.  Ok maybe not that violent but something close. 

We had our discussion regarding Prop 8. on Thursday last week.  The topic came up rather randomly.  We were just talking about random things at lunch.  I mean I actually subconsciously avoided this subject because I really liked this guy as a friend at work.  He is down to earth, very goofy, and have similar sense of humor.  He is also traditional and not crazy on the party scenes.  (I know it is weird, despite what I do on my own, I always find people who don't party much very attractive).  I enjoyed the company.  So I know if I asked, the answer would be disappointing.  However, it is definitely beyond my power to control his actions.  

As our conversation went on, out of no where, he said, 

"I am gonna vote yes on prop 8."

My heart sank a bit.  I mean I already expect this, but to see a person exercise discrimination in front of me, against me unknowingly, is quite unexpectedly disturbing.  I felt so wronged.  What have I done to you?  But I held my cool and asked him why.

He listed about 2 things that were prominent Yes on Prop 8 talking point.  One it is against tradition - why did tradition become synonymous with bigotry anyway,  two he doesn't want the schools to be forced to teach about homosexuality. 

From there I didn't really let him talk too much.  Instead I started to ask him a series of questions regarding where these feelings and opinions came from, and what were his reasonings to believe such false advertisement.  He couldn't give me any solid answers.  He often muddled I don't know in his goofy ways.  However, his goofy ways were just that, very goofy and stupid, not cute at all.  

I told him that marriage, in English, the word has a strong sense religion is because how the western countries adopted Christianity and associated this union closely with their religion despite the fact that the religion itself is a very young belief in regard to human history.  However, marriage itself is an institution between two people, and it has nothing to do with religion.  There are billions of people in the world and they all get married in one way or another.  They choose to form that institution as they wish and it is no one else's business to tell them what they can or cannot do.  Even more so, to define one's marriage as valid or invalid based on one young religious belief. 

As the education scam, I told him that schools were independent regarding education on marriages, straight or gay.  It is the teachers' limited discretion and parents have plenty influence, so that talking point from Yes on 8 is just a political gimmick to distract voters.  They school weren't required to educate the students in this matter, and why would you want to prevent this if it is not going to happen in the future.  

He later then said something that made me very mad, which was gays want to get married for tax benefit.  I lost it a bit and started to almost scream a little.  But I was trying to make a sound argument so the screaming was definitely gonna belittle my effort, so I tried once again to keep my cool.  I told him that in America alone, there would be roughly 30+ million gays, lesbian, and transgender.  In China alone, there would be enough gays to trump entire American population.  Yet these people would just want to get married for some petty tax benefit.  In case you didn't know, the second class marriage license, the civil union already promised almost all the rights.  Why do these people still try so hard to just get that benefit?  Has it ever occurred to you that maybe, just maybe that people probably want to get married because they love each other? 

I also told him that the professor he worshipped back at USC, the philosophy teacher Dr. Willard taught us a lot about critical thinking.  The key to every issue is to think from different angles and to think for yourself.  I asked him why does he still keep such an unfound fear and discriminative approach to this issue.  There was no answer.

I said that how he often tells me that his dad came here 40 years ago with a few bucks on him and now he is a rocket scientist working for NASA.  I said that this is why he came to America because there is dream opportunity and most importantly equality, or at least the hope to be treated equally.  He had his chance and because of what this country is founded on, and how this country was founded, he was a success.  He probably could never have done the same in another country on earth during his years.  Now he is wealthy and have you in the country and I am pretty sure that was the sole reason for him to move here with just a few bucks on him, because he wanted his next generation to have a better start.  Now you have every opportunity that he didn't have, with such expensive education, all you could think of in this election full of change and hope, is to discriminate against another group of minority when yourself is a member of a group of minority?  He didn't say anything

I felt that he was at least thinking and I wish he would do the right thing on Nov. 4th.

----

Today I asked him how he voted and he said he voted yes.  The following text message took place, and the such horrid and yet deep discrimination from this young 22 year old man was shocking to me.  He was once educated side by side with me, he is living in California, the bluest state, and he has access to information, yet he refuses to see it all and held on to the talking points from the bigots and established his argument on fear. 

Me, (thanks to iphone for the essay length capability of texting)

"I seriously do't know WTF is wrong with you, the self righteous people. I don't know when it has become ok that you can tell others what they could do with their lives.  You often mention how your race was massacred by the Turks, then you should know about oppression, your dad is an immigrant, ask him, he knows discrimination, and now you think you have the position to discriminate against others it is beyond me.  Thanks for taking my rights away, I hope you are really happy now that we are second class citizen like how the blacks were decades ago.  Oh yeah I am sooo disappointed by my tax disadvantage now, after all that is why we try to get married for. You douchebag."

He later came by my desk.  It was awkward, and he was nervous.  He said,

"oh man, someone is bitter huh hehe hehe..."

I was texting to JD, (you know who you are when u read this!), and I slowly looked up, said,

"You know what, I really have nothing to say to you at this point, I really don't want to talk to you anymore.  Thanks for taking the rights away."

"Oh com'on! it is no big deal."

That just also knocked me out,

"What did you say? no big deal? after you become part of this shit, you have the nerve to come here and tell me I am over sensitive and it is no big deal?

"come on, it is ok."

He just stood there not leaving and I tried to finish the text and I couldn't.

"I cannot believe how you worship that philosophy teacher and talk about him all the time, yet you learned nothing from him."

"What teacher?"

Silence, texting,

"What teacher?"

Silence, texting.

"tell me what teacher~~"

He was doing that thing when a 10 year old did something bad, you know rocking side by side, and I looked up his face is blaring red. 

"That Willard guy, you know what, forget, I really have nothing to say to you, can you just go I probably talk to you later, I want to finish my text."

"Just like that."

"Just like that."

He walked away.

-----

I cooled down and thought about it, maybe he didn't realize that I was gay? Is that why he said it is no big deal?  I honestly could have just stopped there, but I feel it is everyone's obligation to make this issue seen.  Silence = Death. 

I texted the following,

"I hope you read what I wrote carefully, then you would notice that I am passionate and serous about this is because I am gay. It is not my choice, I won't apologize about who I am and I demand every god damn right that this country has promised.  It is my right as simple as that, that is all."

He later texted me something that is TRULY a PIECE OF WORK.  It was disturbing and I was SO disappointed in this guy.  He had that innocent juvenile charm, and I thought he was clueless.  I mean you can be only so angry at someone who is stupid right?  But instead, he apparently qualifies to work on Yes on 8 campaign. 

"I have no say in gay marriage, I believe everyone is free to marry anyone. this measure went beyond that into educational institutions. I oppose that.  Children should not be naively swayed away from an opportunity marry and reproduce as the human race is intended to.  This measure is not about discrimination.  I oppose any discriminatory idea. Gays have every right as non gays. When this gay marriage enters school teaching, it practically discriminate non gays and the purpose of the human race as a whole."

So I was flaming, and texted something fast and later when I read it was a bit incoherent toward the end. 

"And that is exactly what didn't happen in the schools. The only way they can make it pass is to lie about it.  Public school board and school superintended had denounced prop 8 because school is never required to teach anything about gay or straight marriage. Catholic and Christians have historically been against abortion and sex education, and ye they are proven to be healthy and beneficial to the society as a whole.  More importantly you apparently didn't read the prop and still use their talking point.  Before prop8 there was no measure to force any education regarding homosexuality, now they made the measure to prevent this; but their true intent as evident as the yes on prop 8 leaders have reiterated over and over is that they have to protect traditional marriage.  It is a REVISION of our constitution to specifically say marriage is between one man and one woman, thus no gays can get married, EVER. I like how they throw in some fake political cloud and all of sudden people will just fall for it.  And further, homosexuality is not fucking taught, I grew up in a hetero environment, teaching about something natural, i don't see how that is so threatening.  It is so sad to see people are so ignorant.  Ironic that decades ago black veterans would be refused by white cab drivers when they come back from war and deemed acceptable, decades later, bigots just replaced one minority with another to bully with.  Are we really changing or just recycling hate?"

No more texts after that.  I saw him two more times and gave him the dirtiest look I think I could achieve.  

I really liked him, but who knew, humans can be so divided over something that was supposed to be a non issue. 

Please go to www.petitiononline.com/seg5130/petition.html to ask our governed to reopen prop 8