Updated the update

Update:

I now actually kinda forgot what I wanted to say. Well let's see.

I had brunch with a good friend from USC. He works for Goldman Sachs now. He is such a nice and smart guy that I can't stop having a bit crush on him. He sure doesn't look like an Abercrombie model but I would choose him over 80% of the guys that hops around in West Hollywood. We ate at Urth Cafe in West Hollywood. I ordered a salmon plate which was very delicious. We talked about career mostly for 3 and half hours. It was great to talk to him again. He told me that he just broke 3 digit hours in one week and he is absolutely high on adrenalent. He also told me about his 3 way making out at a party with 2 sororitee girls etc. I dont know it is just a good time talking to a nice friend. Half way through I noticed this girl who was in my class back then. She didn't remember me apparently because when I called out her name and said "you must not remember me", she replied with a big smile and said "of course I remember you". However she never called out my name so yeah.... of course she remembered me. But doesn't matter she is a very energetic girl and has a smile as bright as the sun. I like her. We talked more about career. Yeah I know we are very boring lol....

Anyways I think what I am doing right now at my current company is ok. But it is not something I want to do. The knowledge is highly untransferrable and the longer I stick here the more I am limiting myself in terms of bankability. Every person is a piece of asset and you definitely want to be the one that fits in many different environment. So I will have to really start doing some hardcore studying and making a move in my life and change it before it sets its little mold on me. I am also on a time table. I mean if I am even in the path of where my dream is then I might just as well accept fate like the rest of 80% of Americans and be happy about 5k dollar raise that comes once in a while. That is just fucking pathetic. Yeah gays have unrealistic egos, what is new right. I told my ideas to a coworker who is probably the nicest girl you will ever see and her comment was omg you are so USC. I am not sure if that is a compliment...

Talking about careers, I have to say thank you to the super duper cute and VERY SMART Troystopher (he is on my blogroll) who gives me some valuable suggestions and also makes my day go by faster. Thanks "IM buddy" lol.

Anyways, the down side of this wonderful Saturday was that I got pulled over by a police and he gave me a ticket for not yield enough. I guess he is right otherwise I would have yield the fuck out of the street or at least pretend to be if I fucking yield him. douchebag. I mean it s West Hollywood in construction on Saturday brunch hour. Does he really expect people to be as careful and obedient as the Amish people. ok I don't know what I am talking about anymore but for me Amish is the closest thing to sheeps, you know the universal symbol of weakness and perpetual followers. I mean haven't they seen the temptation... ok I am ranting now....

So yeah that is about 150 bucks and he told me that Beverly Hills supreme court gives people second chance for traffic school so I can still get my point off even though I had a point from speeding (5miles over limit) 5 months ago. Yeah second chance you say? Bitch I will take that point but I will make you go to court with me. Yes I will plead not guilty and show up in court. My suit has been lonely.

And when I finished my lovely brunch, I got a parking ticket.

Yeah. .. ....


But then, I had a good time at night. I went out with two friends and went to Yardhouse in Pasadena. I guess a lot of people were having Halloween parties so the place wasn't as crowded as usual. I bravely took the halfyard size, which is a 32 ounce, about 20 inch tall glass (see, I am bad with measurements so I have to think in dick size). I ordered a Sierra Nevada. It is bitter but somehow I think it tastes much better than bud light and crap. I am the person who infamously gets high on ONE beer so you can imagine how much of a toll that took on me. But we had a great time laughing. Recounting the pasts and planning the near future, you know like snowboard etc, no more career talk at night hehe. So yeah we got all drunk and we decided to blaze at nne friend's house. So that is what we did. I started to sober up and I think the herb and the achohol was a good mix. One passed out and the other one was playing computer game and I was watching Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon. Such a good movie I really wanted to fly like them too. So I got home around like 5am without sleeping played another 2 hours of video game and woke up at 2:46pm >_<....

GOOD TIMES....

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more updates: yeah you think i finished?

Today my HR department had a Halloween themed show. I thought it'd suck but went to see anyway. It was on the second floor and we had to wait in line waiting for it. I was like this is ridiculous. But when I saw these people doing a theme from Hairspray I was so entertained. I have never seen Hairspray before but these people kinda made me want to see it. The highlight was there was a big big guy who was about 6'3'' with heels. Full in makeup and drag and danced to the music and sang. Toward the end stripped down to a very tight under garment and continued to shake it. It was off the hook. And when he exited it he extended his hand and give my chest a very nice squeeze. I was folding my arms so my muscle was already bulging and he totally grabbed a handful. I am just like how did I have a major gay moment in this occasion it was so unexpected. I don't get grabbed by drag queens in gay clubs. what is going on here? you've got to love Halloween I guess. haha.

Oh yeah last thing, I read that Dick Cheney greeted Bush as DARTH VADER today, how grossly arrogant and funny. That old fart he should have brought a rifle too so he would just one stone kill two birds style mock his legacies.

OH PPSSSS... I bought Britney Spear's Blackout. It is probably her best album and I REALLY love some of her songs. I really didn't like her like 3 months ago and all of sudden I think she is the bitch because she got so much attitude and toward the end she gives you results. This album is probably the biggest finger she shove down at nay sayer's throat. I feel a special kind of resonance toward her. I will write about it in the future... That is for another time.

Later gators Hamilton
It is empty now but I will edit this post later. It is getting unhealthily late so I am going to actually sleep. However, once I put this post up, I know I will have to update it soon. Just like my gym tracker. It kinda forces me to do something that I should. I hope this doesn't appear to be as lame as it seems to be lol

One of those bullshit days

First thing first.

I have been very busy lately. Work entered busy season I somehow kept up my workout schedule. So basically I get up around 730am and would end up home around 9-930pm. So when I finish eating it'd already 10. I neglected pretty much all blogs and wasn't chatting with any bloggers anymore. I guess it is one of those hiatus that you just have take. I am trying to slowly catch up. I mean not just catching up on the blogs and stuff but also my dream and my life. I mean isn't that we do constantly. I hope I can feel just a little content in the near future but that requires me to make the right move in every aspect of life.

Anyways, this is what kind of shit went down today.


It was something that happened over lunch and it totally ruined a great lunch plus the rest of my day.

My co-worker and I went for a walk to the commisary for lunch and she happened to run into this friend of hers who used to work with her at her last company. He is this tall Korean guy. I thought he was nice but it totally rub me the wrong way when he started to do the whole pray shit before lunch. I had the similar experience with a Korean girl before and yes according to her she was a faithful Christian. I mean you thank the jeebus even for the food I would assume she would follow his other teachings kinda nice. But she was the rudest and sadest slut I have ever met. She had to kiss some frog in a club in order to compete with another girl in my group. In vain of course because the other girl fucked a model in 30 mins once we got in the club back in New York. Anyways, so I wanted to keep my judgement since everyone is different and it is wrong to steorotype people. Well that was a waste of thoughtful mind of mine.

We had a great conversation in the beginning joking and everything. Time passed by fairly fast but we had a great conversation and we didn't want to leave.

Then he mentioned that he was engaged. I was like wow nice. So the following conversation took place,,

"where is your ring."
"oh guys don't wear a ring."
"lol shit see i am so clueless."
"well so only the girls wear rings huh."
"yeah."
My coworker chimed in,
"yeah girls wear a ring first."
So I said,
"is it a band or the ring. I thought the girls get a band first then the diamond when the marriage takes place."
The douchebag said,
"oh no you buy the whole thing altogether. The rock included. Yeap guys don't get to save that money haha."
"Wow, that is nice, the girls get the rock right away. I really thought you know you give a band like a promise ring kinda thing and the rock when everything is official."

We all just laughing and everything then I said,
"Yeah I would probably give a band first so if it doens't workout you know it'd be just band not the rock and everything."
My coworker said
"omg, no you either give it or you don't, it has to be the whole thing."

We laughed more. Apparently this is how it went down the whole lunch, joking mostly. I mean he even joked about how he acted differently at church just for the image of it and everything, I thought he wasn't uptight.

Then he changed face and said,
"I don't appreciate how you talk shit about my engagement, so you can keep your fucking opinion to yourself, I don't need to hear it ok?"

I was just like WTF???

"Excuse me, but what the fuck are you talking about now?"
"You don't need to talk about my engagement i don't appreciate it."
"ok, but you do realize that I wasn't even talking about your shit right?"
My coworker said, "omg you guys, come on don't be serious, we are just talking about stuff in general."

I said, "So why would I comment on your engagement or marriage in a bad way when you just told me that you are engagement. Do I look like I am stupid? I mean what kind of asshole would do that?"

"Then what do you talk to then. You looked at me and talked about it right after I mentioned my engagement, then who are you talking? Why would you not talk about it if you are looking at me?"

"First of all, I am not talking about engagement, it is not my business and clearly the subject wasn't about your particular shit. I am using "I" in the sentence so I thought it'd be clear. I mean my god what kind of person would say stuff like that like talk shit about one's engagement. Are you fucking out of your mind? I look at you because we are all having lunch together talking together, and you just happen to be here."

"Oh so I should feel really honored to have lunch with you now?"

"WTF are you even talking about now. I can't talk to people like you. You are fuking crazy. I mean wow, how can someone, I mean you are just flat out offensive."

"Go fuck yourself, at least I am with a girl."

"Wow, you go fuck yourself, apparently you need a life."

So I walked up and my coworker ran after me. She was just so terrified. She worried if this would affect my relationship with her. I am like get a grip woman.

All that fucking religious teaching and shit. Seriously, I somehow find religious hypocrite the most offensive. Somehow I haven't seen any self proclaimed righteous and faithful Christians or Catholic for that matter do what the bible teaches. What happened to treating people with respect and do not judge and be kind. I mean he seriously just fucking twisted my word and used that and turned into an apeshit and went on full frenzy mode. That is got to be the great example for his youth group. I am sure he also teaches his acolyte how to lynch gays and jews.

This kind of people grosses me out.

Fuck these fucking retards. I mean the day was great and everything and I would like to talk about many other more exciting stuff. But he just pooped all over me. Now I am all sad and depressed. Not because of him though. I am easily affected emotionally I guess.

Sigh, one of those days. It sucks. I do'nt know how some good times just can suddenly turn into shit. I wish I had a boyfriend i mean someone love me like a partner. I think that is what I need in my life right now. I sometimes feel so weak. I mean i really should have just brushed this off but somehow it lingers. After workout and stay upbeat at work now I am exhausted emotionally. I feel like I am running a race with depression with my positive attitude and my attitude gets beaten down a lot. I don't know. One of those days.

Well This has been forever

Well maybe not as long as my vacation but the difference is that I am here and able to post anytime I just somehow chose not to.

Life's been pretty chill lately. Made some new friends, hit on a straight guy, and went to party with bunch gays that was fun.

I was pretty down a while back because I had a major fall out with one of my closest friends and we weren't talking. We are still not talking and I am kinda over it. However, I think that somehow made me open my eyes and look at other individuals. So I guess that is a good thing overall.

There is this one guy at my gym whom everyone seems to know. He is French and somewhat flamboyant. I thought to myself, "hmmm he is either gay or just European". It turns out that he is both!

I talked to him about two weeks ago and I told him where I worked etc. He said
"oooo you should meet my friend, who happens to be in the same company with you, such a sweet person."
I said, "oh cool, a guy or a girl?"
"oh a guy, haha I am not trying to setup a date for you haha", "I mean I don't know if you like guys or girls, so I am just saying, "so what do you like".

That was when I was still in the gym so I just laughed. About five seconds later we were out of the gym and he asked me again why am I laughing. I said,

"What about you, are you gay?"
"He said yes, I have always been, haha. I have a partner who was engaged to a woman though, but me, yes always gay", "so are you gay?"
"I just came out not long ago."

As I was speaking, there are more people coming out of the gym and I could see this one woman took a bit extra attention to our conversation when I said I just came out. It felt kinda liberating lol.

So after this exchange, we got each other's numbers and proceeded to text each other for the next week or so. Grabbed drink on Monday with him and his TV producing friend. They were pretty nice and so easy to talk to. But I guess that is because they are more mature both mentally and physically and they have less that I am the center of the universe flare. That flare really kinda scares me hehe.

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About hitting on the straight guy it was pretty funny. I saw this swimmer build guy at the gym working out. He is very fit but apparently his upper body isn't strong. He looked VERY young and I just couldn't stop looking. I think he saw me looking too since I wasn't subtle at all. LOL sigh, I don't do subtle often not because I don't want to. It is just that I am so clumsy when it comes to subtle I can never pretend lol. So we finished working out together and he was in the locker changing and I just stared. When we both walked out the gym, I followed him to his car. He seemed to look in my way too but he didn't initiate a conversation so eventually I just went up to him and introduced myself. He was really nice and talkative. When I felt the conversation was a bit too superficial, I just cut straight to the chase. I asked him if he liked guys and hopefully he was since I couldn't stop looking that swimmer body. He started laughing saying that he was flattered but he wasn't. He said his brother is bi and his aunt is gay and his 3 uncles are all gay but after experimenting with his brothers' friends, he didn't find it as appealing as woman. It was nice exchange.

Afterward, JR said that is his way of rejecting me. I guess it is also a possibility. But it is a nice experience nevertheless. At least I am doing something and actively trying to get what I want right?

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This Friday, the gay went out. French guy lives in Silver Lake with his partner and I went to his house. Another 3 gays showed up. They are all in the TV/Movie industry. They seem to be doing quite well for themselves. Lovely people, very easy to talk to. So we chatted and drank for about 2 hours and headed to this place called MJ's. My first time tipping the strippers and it was pretty fun haha, we drank more and danced the night off. The club wasn't as crazy as West Hollywood's and probably less eye candy as well but it was good enough. Great company really counts. Then it started to rain. Felt pretty refreshing even though I normally hate the rain. I came home around 3 am and played some video games and spent Saturday resting.

There you have it!

Have fun.

Hamilton