Party Party, actually it was kinda interesting this time

It is 7:00am. I got home around 5:00am, and an online friend from Missouri wanted to play some games so we went on battle.net and played a couple. Now I am not even sleepy, not even with my new magic pillow. You know those pillows with special shapes that is supposed to keep your spine straight and increase your sleeping quality etc. I swear it helps and I love it! Anyways, let's get back to what I was going to write about lol...

I am in a chatty mood right now, so the post may be a bit rambling and a bit of laundry list but whatever haha. I write as I wish.

So as usual, a bit drama before sunset even arrived. Kiki, the girl who once was a close friend later turned into an utter bitch and distanced herself from everyone in our group graduated today. Last year, she didn't even show up at our graduation and the whole night, she didn't say one "congratulations". Yes everyone in our old group was super pissed. But we had fun at the club so we let it go. However, after the little gang fell through, and now it was her turn, everyone decided to ditch her graduation as well. I know, how bitchy of everyone hahaha. Oh well she had it coming. But this time it was a bit different. Her parents were here and they wanted to treat us dinner and then she wanted to go clubbing. The thing is that she is out of my life completely and the other two friends of hers really do not like her but somehow still hang around. Every time they get mad at her which is about at least once a week they would ramble about shits that she had done to me. It became an old story on a broken record. Long story short, everyone started to argue why we should/shouldn't show up. At the end, I ditched the whole thing since she never directly asked me at all and I was so indifferent about her now that I may say something that is really offensive at the dinner table and that would be just inappropriate. The other two friends went anyway.

So..... I called my other friends and they sure had a party at a club tonight.


The club's name is BLVD 3. Kinda swanky. But I believe this place passed its prime. Clubs in LA are just like fleas on a homeless dog. They are everywhere and come and go. Same location, different names. Old games. At least in NY, some notorious clubs would stand a long time. But in LA they kinda have to change it to make it attractive enough to be successful.

Anyways, the club itself was very nice. There was a huge outside area in which a lot of bungalow like tables scattered around. Inside, there were bunch tables outside of the dance floor and some more tables inside the dance floor. The tables outside of the dance floors were a bit higher than the dance floor, so whoever got the table would be able to have a semi birds eye view of the whole club. It was a decent area but I think the birds eye view kinda ruined it in my opinion. There was no mystery anymore and you can literally see everyone doing his/her thing. It separates you from the environment and crowd. I mean who would want to be an outsider or an observer in a club.

But yeah so we got there around 11:40pm which was too late for guest list. Since we had 10 people in total we just bought a table. It was 2 bottles table for 1000 dollars. So we got two bottles of Grey Goose. Personally I think Vodka is just gross... But everyone else seemed to love it. Compared this to LA gay clubs, I think the entertainment value that these straight clubs bring out is really not worth it for how much money you pay. Gay clubs, even the famous ones like the Abbey doesn't have this fancy shumancy shits, and the club is just as good.

However, the highlight of the night wasn't the club. It was a GUY, a very pretty guy lol. My friend L organised this party and her ex-boyfriend had become her friend now. His brother Chris from Singapore came over for his graduation. He was SOO freaking HAWT. Big brown eyes, high nose and a huge smile. His body was ripped and had tattoo on his right arm. Apparently, he didn't waste that good looks of his. Two weeks ago he just won the "Singapore most eligible bachelor" title. From our conversation, it seemed that his family is pretty wealthy and he is now manufacturing wall-paint in Singapore. I was talking to him the whole night and kept touching his lower back. Ok it may sound very offensive and slutty but actually it was much needed. The music was blasting so in order to make any kind of verbal communication we had to be 1 inch from each other. So the lower back hug was just a natural physical progression lol. It was nice..... He also told me that on his spare time he does print-ad modeling and TV commercials for LG phones etc. Yum... I am sure he does hahaha. I just couldn't take my eyes off him.

We actually finished the two bottles fairly quickly. Yeah I know, my friends were kinda like alcoholics lol. We danced some. I mean none of these people were good dancers. Well not like I am awesome at it but I can always appreciate great dancers.

Since we got there so late, by the time the club closed, everyone wasn't having enough of fun. So we decided to go to one of the guy's home in downtown LA. He and his gf bought a loft in downtown right around 9th and broadway. It was not that big, a typical loft. Basically it was a huge room and everything was in this one big room. Bedroom and living room were separated by a semi wall and you can get to the kitchen from the bedroom by walking forward a couple feet hehe. However, it felt great to be there. It was like a little love nest and it was plenty room for two people. They told us that this loft, basically a big room, cost them 650k. Even though I expected it to be somewhere around that range, I still felt kinda surprised. The real estate had gone just insane in the past years in California and I think it got even harder for people to just fulfill the basic American dreams nowadays. I mean 650k for a normal family that is like almost life long mortgage. No wonder people are so unhappy nowadays haha. But again, the inside was so nice and it really brought out a modem and yet traditional family warmth in the loft.

After being silly in the room for a while, everyone went to the rooftop. The loft building had a rooftop for parties. So they got a gym, a big pool, a jacuzzi and a big open area with sofa and fireplaces on the freaking roof top!! It was so nice. The 4:00am air was really refreshing. Everyone sobered up and sat around the sofas and chatted the night away. The entire downtown LA was under us and we could pretty much see everything that this city center had to offer. It was beautiful. Well at least as beautiful as a modern heavily polluted city could be. One of the guys got really excited and jumped in the pool in his underwear lol. Hilarious. Especially he wasn't even all that fit, so he did live up to his nickname---the hippo lol~~~.

Everyone was laughing and drinking (yes, they were still fucking drinking, a bottle of red wine). It was great. We made another round of toast to the proud USC class 07. Yes, the class 07 of USC, the best class ever is now ready to conquer the world.

Haha.

Well, school is done

I don't know. Compared to others, I am not happy at all. I don't know what is there to celebrate. I mean literally you have to be retarded to not be able to graduate once you get in an university and I don't care which university. So finishing a degree or two is really not much of an accomplishment in my opinion. It is not like I served in the military and went to war and came back in one piece. That would be some accomplishment worth celebrating.

Instead, I am just socially reborn. The birth is so sudden just like my biological birth. But worse since now I am fully conscious and have the capacity to gasp on what is ahead of me. Talking about what is ahead of me. I have no fucking clue, maybe that is why it is so bloody painful. The unknowns like death. It is like I am born to see death. How great is that. I mean is that worth celebrating. It is probably worth getting plastered. Maybe that is what everyone else is doing but they call it celebrating? A celebration of new rebirth of death, that is just fucking pleasant. People say they are over school. Like, "omg I am soo fucking over this shit". I am just confused. WTF are you fucking over with?? School is like a perfect place to do challenge stuff and yet allow you to complete fuck up. Maybe minus the "not getting paid part", everything else is so awesomely great. Well getting paid is pretty important, so I guess they do have a point lol... But then it is almost like, at least for most of the people, it is a paid life sentence. You get paid this measly tiny portion of the money to pay your bills and your only joy comes from early days, vacations, bonuses, and retirement. Please tell me that life is not about this. However, from what I see, most of the people in the world do live for that. It is truly sad.

Anyways, this week is going to be the party week. I already missed a big party last night. I really wanted to go but at the same time I just felt kinda down because of the reasons I mentioned above. But also I was somehow feeling exhausted. Maybe my body is taking a big relief despite the fact that mentally I refuse to move on. Anyways, I got a headache around 7:00pm and then I got just really tired around 8:30pm. So after calling people confirming the party, I took a nap and woke up around 10:00pm. The nap did not make me feel any better and I woke up because I had a creepy nightmare. To think of it now, I finally realized maybe it is how I felt about the future because in the dream, there was this dark shadowy creature trying to open my door and enter my house and no matter how hard I tried, it eventually made its way in. Creepy.... Anyways, I am sure there are going to be at least two more parties over this weekend. I will try to go as many as possible.

Today I finally made to my gym again. Trainer wasn't happy that I worked out once a week in the past two weeks and I wasn't eating right. But then I am going to do much better from now on since I have nothing else to do. He TOTALLY kicked my ass. It was probably the hardest work out I had so far. We did one group of exercises. It was five different kinds of exercises compressed together and each set involved doing all of the 5 types together then I would get a pathetic 45 seconds break before I do them all over again. The five types of exercise were:

1. Inclined bench press with 30 lbs dumbbells (this is after another 3 exercises chest workout routine!!!)
2. deadlock pull ups with a barbell, I think it was 100lbs
3. medicine ball push ups - one hand on a medicine ball the other one on the floor, 5 on each hand
4. leg push ups on a machine
5. 5. biceps curls on a machine.

These were second half of our workout routine. Before this I already had 30 mins of squad and chest workouts. Two different sets of chest workouts and each one involved more than 1 type exercise. Then we finished our entire workout with abs stuff. I was so tired I could barely move. After workout, he helped me stretch. My hamstrings were extremely tight so I started to moan. He then said jesus you sound like you are having sex. That was when he was pushing his body weigh on my foot. It was just like he was fucking me with one of my legs up in the air on his chest. I started to laugh but then my dirty mind started its engine. Then he went even further saying oh yeah you like that huh you feeling good? I was laughing so hard and at the same time felt so hot. Imagine he knew I was gay I am 100% sure that he wouldn't mess around like this with me anymore lol~~~. Once I got in the shower, I was in a very bad place. I wanted to throw up really bad but held in. I think I drank way too much water and way too fast. But after the shower I felt better immediately and it was also comforting once I looked in the mirror. I am definitely making progress!

Anyways, I think I need to find a job soon. Also I need to get a lot of shits done before I leave to China for my 1 month vacation. Ah..... So much shit!!

To finish this post, I added this great song/music video by Peter Bjorn and John, I am sure most of you have already heard this, it is called Young Folks. I love it!

Yummy Summer is Coming!!

Well, finally thanks to Dan The Man that I can post this video now hahaha. There is nothing between me and my sexy eye candy hunks!!! Not even the almighty youtube!

I particularly love this show because I like: 1. D&G's sex appeal, 2. Summer wear, and 3. the music choice. It is a remix of Madonna's song. I am not a big fan of Madonna "gasp" I know. But I am just not. However, I think this song after remix works perfectly for this summer wear show. Anyway, Chad White opened it, so yummy.... lol. enjoy. It is raining man!

Another final is outta the way

This is my last hard finals out of the four I have this semester. The last final is a take-home final which means bunch people will "do" it together and turn them in lol... Talking about that, I need to call my friends and see who has the answers already.

Today's final was for Financial Derivatives. Basically it is the introduction course in the field but concentration course offered in USC for this major. We "learned" to value options, forward contracts, and variations of similar financial instruments in hope of hedge risks in making investment decisions. The final was... I guess it was kinda easy. There, I just jinxed myself lol... But with the help of a 2 sheets of official cheat sheets allowed for finals, I didn't leave anything blank. After the final was over, I compared my answers with my friend and it seems like I should be ok. At least I should be able to hit the curve. However, I did discover a problem that I think I got wrong. It was the stupid interest swaptions and I think I used the paying arm - the receiving arm so the value was positive whereas my friend's answer was negative. bah.... too late to think about this shit now.

I want to say that I regret that I didn't look at that part more but honestly all I can say is that I am so glad it is over.

The bitter sweetness is even more evident as the last days of my entire college years approaching. I want to cheer but I really want to cry at the same time. I am no longer a teen. Well that one was long gone lol.. Ok I am no longer a young adult. I am entering my adulthood that just sounds so god damn old. I don't want to be old and become a part of this stupid rat race. This is frightening.

Oh well, I think I need to relax a bit now. haha.

Update
I forgot to mention that today it is almost 100 degrees in LA. It was barely 80 yesterday. So it is definitely a huge jump in temperature. I love it. I can already see myself at the beach hahahaha. But it is only May and it is already 100 I wonder if this year the temperature would break 115-120 mark. Global warming is coming!!!!!!! poor polar bears

Finals!!

Just busy with finals lately. Hmm.. actually I am busy wasting time then busy procrastinating lol... I have finished two finals so far. I think they went just ok.

In my strategy class, there were 130 multiple choices and we had 1 hour and 50 mins to do them. So that is like 36 seconds to complete each question. It was pretty intense. I remembered that I was pretty fast in the beginning and then toward the last 30 I just felt that I was brain dead. I couldn't register whatever that I was reading.

On Friday after one night of grueling study, grueling because I was procrastinating lol, I think I did alright on the final. Even though I guessed bunch of them but it seems like others were guessing too. Oh well we will see what happens.

Tomorrow I got another final. I haven't start studying yet lol talk about procrastinating. I wanted to do it yesterday, however, I had training in the afternoon. Man, working out has never been harder since I stopped working out for almost 2 weeks since final study hit my schedule. We did lots upper body practices and I wanted to puke in the shower. But then I felt really good afterward now I can't go back in again. So after that I went to get a pedicure which was my first time ever. I kinda liked it. I would really love it if they combine this with foot massage session. So I can just sit there talking and enjoy an hour of relaxation. But too bad it was just a pedicure. I did see an very very twinky boy walked in with his female friend. It was quite an eye candy for it. He was gay for sure... Didn't expect to see a boy like that at that kinda place haha. After that my friend and I went to eat then I played God of War II on her PlayStation 2 for like a long time. When I got home I developed this huge headache. That didn't stop me from linger around though. lol, I chatted with my mom for 1 hour about random things, such as how I hated my chin which is apparently the courtesy of my dad and how people change over time etc. It was a great conversation and we both laughed really hard. When I got back to my room I proceeded to play video games with friends online lol~~~~~ omg. Today I am so going to regret all those activities!!

Anyway, just a run down, nothing too much worth mentioning. Ah, I am going to study now. Hopefully I can really start my studying haha.

This is fucking hilarious.

I really hope he is gay. He is so dreamy. God yum..... Here is the link to the Brady Quinn and His Allegedly Slutty GF Post. Thanks Justin for posting those pix and enticed me enough to read this hilarious post. In order to entice others, I am gonna post some pix!!

Wooooot!!

Awww. so cute

To enjoy the article you can simple click on those links which direct you to Kissing Suzy Kolber Blog. It is so good and freaking hilarious.

Source: Kissing Suzy Klber Blog, all images are taken off from that site. I do not own any rights to these images.

Drifting apart

I talked to JP Mac briefly today about how sometimes people just disappear in your life.

I had this reader who was about 40 some years old reading my blog everyday. We then started to talk to each other on AIM. He originally lived in LA and eventually moved to Italy. He read my blog often and would then talk to me about it the second day. It was fun and I really enjoyed talking to him. He was older and wiser. It made blogging kinda fun. Then he said he would get really busy for a while and eventually disappeared. I mean really just gone with the freaking wind. He didn't read my blog anymore either since I could see him on sitemeters if he did.

Anyway that was a short story. I was just wondering this small random fact.

Then I was reading Procrastinating Wolverine and he wrote this entry about how his 25 years friendship couldn't last beyond college years. This got me thinking about my own drifting apart stories. I was going to simply tell him the story but then when I started typing a comment became a post so I am just gonna post it.

I came to America when I was 14, so high school was horrible. I was caught in a cultural and racial conflicts in the high school and my linguistic skill was very poor. I made one close friend even though it started extremely awkward. He then went to another high school and we didn't talk to each other for a year. Then we started talking again in community college and again started off extremely awkward and uncomfortable but eventually we found our common ground.

It was necessary for me because again the cultural and racial problem still persisted and my mediocre language skills didn't help me either. I had about 3 people that I could call friends who I hang out with back then. I needed someone to be there so I guess I tolerated a lot of his weird habits and manners. We grew very tight regardless. I eventually met his sister who literally grew up her teenager year with me and now we are like brother and sister.

However, even back then I always had a different agenda compared to him. He got complacent easily and had too much pride to try anything that might put him in awkward positions. I came from an awkward position so I didn't mind to be awkward in order to grow. So I tried hard to meet new people, improve my English, and ultimately I transferred to USC. He on the other hand stayed the same and really somehow just had me as his only close friend. USC was also a huge transition. My English was just good enough for the community college level and people went there were extremely diversified. It was a melting pot of people who came from different background, race, financial capability and age. USC, on the other hand was the just the opposite. It was dominated by White and Asian which together made up 85% of the USC population. Many people were extremely well off and they were all around the same age. Basically, USC and life together happened. I had to adjust and fight the social battle that I then faced. He on the other hand was one year younger than I was and stayed back in PCC.

He always wanted to go to USC all his life and often praised USC as his only dream school outside of Ivy League selections. When I made to USC, he wasn’t so stoked about it. I knew him too well. He was happy for be but extremely jealous at the same time. He then freaked out about me not hanging out with him anymore. When he transferred to Pepperdine and got his first girlfriend he cut all ties with me for two years. I remembered that the only phone call he made to me within several months was to ask me for the money I owed during my final week ($100). I was royally pissed and we called each other less and less. I thought it was stupid because after all he was a friend of eight years which was the life that I knew of in America. I thought that I really should try to save this friendship. So I made some attempts. After 5 calls everyday in a week asking him to hang out and subsequently getting rejected with lame excuses like he was tired, I gave up.

He still had only just a small group to hang out with whereas my friend group grew larger and larger. I had too much fun to care at that moment.

One day his sister told me that his girlfriend of two years cheated on him and he was down and depressed. So I made attempt to help him. After a botched birthday party that I invited him to attend, he turned into this ugly selfish brat again. I finally decided to cut all ties from him. Now he hates me. I for one do not hate him. I just pity this whole situation. Eight years of friendship down the drain for no apparent reason. He is now paranoid about the fact that I am still around. He can’t deal with the fact that his sister is the best friend of my best friends. Whenever he sees me around he would make very dirty comments about me behind my back. It is shocking actually. I thought we at least had the decency to end a friendship gracefully. There is no option for me other than admitting that it was an extremely good run while it lasted. He would agree but I just don’t get why he still doesn’t have the maturity to accept that, for whatever reason, when people drift apart, life still goes on. Move along with it! There is no need to resent. If he is still emotionally lingering over this now dead friendship, and really wants to talk to me, he can easily do that. We can have a proper closure if he wanted to.

But he chose to end it this way. Today I just hang out with his sister again. Caught up and had a grand time. She however didn't want me to come over after we were done around 10:30pm since he was home. She wouldn't mind if he lived on campus like he normally did during the school year. However, he was moving back in with her and now he wouldn't leave her along about me being around if he saw me often in the house. It was too much trouble to deal with. I thought that was just messed up.

I don't know. We will see what happens. It shouldn't be a big deal but if it really gets in the way I may have to sit him down and talk to him or punch him in the face very hard so we can have the closure that we never had back then.

My card

It is 4:25am and I am about to crash. Last night I stayed up all night and today somehow my body held up just fine. I guess it is just secretly waiting to crash on me at the most critical moment. Well doesn't matter now I am gonna make it rest up so its evil plan will never come true.

Anyway I found this little quiz on SSR's blog Waiting on Life. The quiz shows you that which tarot card you are. I like mysterious and silly stuff like this. I chose the dragon set and the result is really fulfilling. It really matches my secret wish hahahaha.

You are The Devil

Materiality. Material Force. Material temptation; sometimes obsession

The Devil is often a great card for business success; hard work and ambition.

Perhaps the most misunderstood of all the major arcana, the Devil is not really "Satan" at all, but Pan the half-goat nature god and/or Dionysius. These are gods of pleasure and abandon, of wild behavior and unbridled desires. This is a card about ambitions; it is also synonymous with temptation and addiction. On the flip side, however, the card can be a warning to someone who is too restrained, someone who never allows themselves to get passionate or messy or wild - or ambitious. This, too, is a form of enslavement. As a person, the Devil can stand for a man of money or erotic power, aggressive, controlling, or just persuasive. This is not to say a bad man, but certainly a powerful man who is hard to resist. The important thing is to remember that any chain is freely worn. In most cases, you are enslaved only because you allow it.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

The date went alright. It wasn't awkward and there wasn't any silent moment. We kept talking about random stuff like TV shows, fitness, family etc. But there wasn't chemistry for sure. He wasn't as cute in person because he is extremely tall 6'5" and very pale and skinny. He is way gayer than how he looks like in the pictures and how he sounded on the phone. I guess he found the same about me, he probably didn't think I was as cute in person etc. I don't know. It is a bit disappointing. I would rather people just be blunt about it and he wasn't. I felt as if he was trying to tell me that he didn't think I was cute in other terms and that thought bugged me a lot. I might have read into things a bit too much but one thing for sure that fucking chemistry was absent and that was pretty much all I cared about anyway... oh well, I could care less now. It was an interesting night. It is my first official date for the sake of dating in my life. It felt weird and I felt so traditional. Anyway, there wasn't sex and I just drove home. Now I think about it, I am old enough, maybe I really start hitting the gay scene like an adult. It might awkward in the beginning but for sure I would be talking to people who are interested in me to begin with. Beh sleeping time.