I cried just a tiny little bit

Ok I am such a sucker for things like this. arggg, but isn't he amazing. Angelic voice le sigh.



--- 

Today I got UCLA hunk's aim, and we basically chatted up the whole day. From no expectation to extremely high expectation. We had so much fun talking and flirting and he sounded like the exact kind of guy I want in my life as a boyfriend. Also, he was part of the air force reserve back in college, so he did the training and the whole shebang, so freaking HOT!!! You see how stupid I am? I haven't seen him, just saw a couple pictures then talked to him on aim and now i am already thinking about being his boyfriend. Sigh... never learn!.... But we both enjoyed the conversation throughout the entire day and we planned to meet up on Thursday for dinner. See if I don't know him then I can be completely confident. But now after talking, I have expectations and I want him have his expectation from me fulfilled and suddenly I am not as confident. The doubts flooded in. What if he doesn't find me attractive, what if our conversation becomes dull, what if ... I know it is so stupid. We should find out the answers for all that soon. Well in three days.

I also got a chance to talk to my Black guy friend. He messaged me last night and then logged off because according to him I wasn't very talkative at the moment. So this morning, we started talking and he suddenly lashed out at Asians. Actually, he soon started to lash out against dudes in general, saying how he got hurt by games all the time and people are just generally fake. I somehow wasn't phased by his tantrum by the slightest. I was calm and I proceeded to show him why his accusations of Asians were unfound. Well his accusations definitely hold true to a lot of Asian people but I believe most of them are still generally good people and I really felt the responsibility to build the racial connection and defend my own people in this microscopic way. Finally good reasoning won out and he admitted that he was just frustrated. But after this incident, I can guarantee that I will not fool around with him ever again. That is for sure.

On the other hand, work related thing, I am forced to work TWO hours overtime everyday for the next three weeks. Also, I might be forced to come in ON SATURDAYS. Ok Fuck this shit really. For the amount of money I make I really shouldn't be required to come in on SATURDAY. The work is stressful in the first couple weeks but we are all adults here and if the work is not done I think we will do overtime as needed so that we can finish. Enforcing overtime is one of the most irresponsible thing a manage team can do. If the worker is incompetent the overtime will just still be wasted anyway. Let the employee work overtime based on their schedule as long as the work is done and done well right?

I really believe this is one big problem with corporate America. If the top management is anal, micro management and recruiting all the mindless peons instead of seeking out talents, then yes, the corporate culture would suffer. Because that management style would trigger down from top all the way to the bottom. Also, the corporate America is still ruled by the baby boomers who learned management styles from their past experiences. A lot of them use micro management and iron fist rule to feel secure and maintain dignity. But that does not bode well with our generation, period. 

In my business major back in USC, we took at least 2 semester classes mainly focused on business communications and learn the difference of professional communication and personal communication. But alas, who gives a shit about the difference. Some of the psycho managers often throw their tantrum at their employees and employ their personal humor or style at will with no regard how the other party would feel about that whatsoever. What they don't know is that their personal humor/style comes off either arrogant, thoughtless or simply buttplug style bitchy.  We should always remember that being in a supervision position simply means that you have a better knowledge and have the ability to lead. We didn't elect you as a manager/supervisor with a popularity contest. So I don't know what made them feel like their personality is the shining star that comes out every fucking 10 mins to blind others.

Micro management is the past and I think human resource should be more strategic. Asking your employee to log in activities on Outlook EVERY FUCKING HOUR is not how you guarantee that they have something to do. IF your employee started slacking, then it is either you as a manager didn't plan the workload for them well so that they are overwhelmed in the beginning and now they just don't have stuff to do, OR they are not qualified employees. I mean if they can't work under supervision, then you should get a new person on your team. Doing stupid micro managing shenanigans is only a waste of time for everyone and has nothing to boost morale which is so vital for the turn over. Let me tell you our turn over is ugly. Work content is one thing but management is a huge factor as well. Just because the company is huge doesn't mean that they can literally afford to lose anyone. Especially considering the entertainment industry is on the verge of being revolutionized with new media, I don't know how the old method seems to be a good idea to continue. Talent is everything on all levels. God I can go on and on with this.

Luckily I have had a good manager for three quarters who didn't micro manage. However I have witnessed enough to worry. My manager is changing position in this up coming quarter. I hope my new manager isn't going to be a talentless drone. 

Inappropriate employee, flaked, shallow, politics

Today truly sucked.

I am going to write four events. Event one is work experience, event two is a date that'd gone flake, event three is a rant regarding someone shallow, event four a political issue. Please be advised that if you don't want to get political, please do not read event FOUR.

Event 1,

Ok our company is passing out Berlin Walls. Yes you heard it right. Despite the fact that, Germany decided to stop disintegrate their historic walls, we still keep getting them. I just really didn't care for the wall piece, but one of our temporary worker wanted it, and she is pretty cool so we went there to get her a piece.

The assistant who was responsible for handing out the wall pieces was a major bitch. She sat there giving us this indifferent look. I tried to ease the uncomfortable moment and talked to her. This is what came out of this bitch's mouth,

"hm, can you guys give me a call first next time you come back? You know so I can get prepared, and get organized."

So I said,

"ah.. ok. well what can we do, we all just love historic walls. hehe"

"hm? what do you mean, you like walls?"

My mouth was just hanging open and I got really pissed.

"hehe, (fake laugh), I dont understand, you like walls, like the walls there." Looking at the wall behind me. fucking retard...

My coworker chimed in, "he meant the berlin wall."

"oh." rolling her eyes.

I turned my back on her, and she kept talking to me, and I proceeded talking to my coworker and left her hanging. I left the rooming without picking up the stupid wall.

Awkward? Yes, but Her tone was extremely annoying and her attitude was definitely offensive. It was as if we were those kind of people who would love to get anything for free.

The outrageous thing is that,

1. We will never come back, each employee is qualified for one piece of fucking walls and I didn't even want this piece of fucking wall.

2. WHO THE FUCK do you think you are. You are an assistant and your job description is to assist whatever your boss needs help for, and handing out the wall is one of the CORPORATE initiative. IF you can't lift your precious fingers to just hand out some boxed wall pieces, you should not have applied for your job. If you had any decent education, you would have had a real job now wouldn't you?

3. Organize WHAT? You desk was as clean as new, and all you had to do was to open a Word document, write down our employee ID and then hand out the fucking wall that is in the box NEXT to your desk.

I just hate people who have attitude for nothing. I personally don't deal with attitude well at all. Place yourself in the right position. If you think this job is so below you then get the fuck out. If you think you are better than this, go find a better job. If you take it, then don't be a anal annoyance to other people. What is worse is that we all tried to make her cheer up and all that came back were these retarded responses.

Event 2.

I have been talking to this guy from UCLA, 22-23, looks kinda cute and we had great conversations last week. So on the weekend I asked him out to have dinner and chill in Westwood. Plans were set and I was really looking forward to this. I talked to him in the afternoon around 3 pm and confirmed the event. He said he was going to take a nap but told me to call him before I leave so that he would know when I was leaving etc. Sounded all very genuine and interested.

630pm rolled by and I was ready to leave. Rested a bit in my car since he suggested I should leave a bit later to avoid traffic. Called him @ 645 the first time. Rang 6 times to voicemail. Called the second time once I reached my car around 650pm. Still voicemail. I needed gas, so I went to the gas station next to work. Meanwhile texted him telling him that I was leaving now and if he got my message let me know. Got to the gas station filled up and called one more time telling him that the drive is quite long (20 miles subject to some traffic and returning route for me would be around 30 miles), so I don't want to drive out there in case he had something come up. So I told him in the voicemail that I would wait for his call till 715 then I would be heading home. 720pm rolled by. I drove home.

830pm he texted me saying that his phone was on silence and he just woke up. Are you fucking kidding me or do I look or sound like a retard/doormat? He can't put an alarm on and took a nap that lasted almost 6 hours in the afternoon? It is just ridiculous nowadays. I mean I remembered when I grew up, as kids when I didn't understand much, I would at least inform others or do something to prevent missing an appointment. THIS WAS A DATE. I guess the chemistry wasn't as strong as I thought it was and if I were just whatevers and worth less than a small effort to set an alarm on a cellphone then so be it.

Event 3

There was this cute guy who messaged me online to talk to me. I actually really liked his looks. But after talking for a while I realized that his english could be improved a little but I didn't mind. After talking to each other a couple times, we just stopped talking, w/e, it was mutual. One day I was wondering if he was still interested, so I messaged him. He sounded interested because he started to talk about what happened in his life and what he liked etc. Then I was like so do you still wanna hang out sometimes. He was like sure, can I have more pictures? That was back then before I bought my Mac Book Pro (you see how I typed out the full name, yes I love it that much), and I do not take pictures on my own since my camera has been seized by my parents for business use. All I had was some facebook pictures usually taken from party events. A couple pictures that I had that was close shots were like 1 -2 years old. So I gave him some. He kept complaining that ah it wasn't clear enough and how I didn't want to give him my pictures etc. I told him I could provide some later when I get my computer. From there his attitude was cold and rude, so I ditched him right away.

Fast forward 1 month, I got my Mac and I posted some newly taken picture online. He then couldn't leave me alone. He emailed me three times on three occasions and tried to be cute and nice. I lost all my interests so all I told him was that we have talked before and there was no chemistry, thanks for messaging and bye bye. He just kept emailing. Today he did it again. Bitch chose the wrong time to be fake cute. So I said,

"I already told you many times, we talked and I am not interested at all, so could just freaking go away. Thank you."

Surprisingly, he emailed back saying, "oh sorry if I did something wrong, just wanted to say hi."

This could have been really sweet if I didn't already know how he was, now he just sounded desperate, shallow, and pathetic. So I said, "you didn't do anything wrong, you just pulled a typical gay stereotype, you were shallow and superficial." Then I blocked him.

I am just so surprised nowadays. Whenever I see someone who talks to me, I would at least try to look beyond the physical stuff and talk a bit. When you are nice and polite, they usually pull the I am more fabulous card on me. When you gain some attitude, they suddenly become so apologetic. How dysfunctional.

This is just in. Got Rejected in the Club by a potential one night stand This guy messaged me and said hi. I just replied something nice and he said oh hey baby it is me, sex btm, sorry I didn't get to fuck you last time, maybe we can hookup soon. Want to see my cock? Realizing who he is. I said oh hi, sorry about last time, I had a misunderstanding (which is true one of the gays told me he wanted to hook up), thanks for the advanced warning, but no thanks I will pass. God so arrogantly conceited. Freaking... But I felt good saying that because now he knows how I felt!! This is his picture. 

Event 4

CNN kept reporting how the Olympic rally has been disrupted and this definitely pisses me off. I am raised in China and got my teen --> adult education in America. I have exposure to both culture and both ideologies. With my own education and understanding, I think Tibet is no one else's business. It is a sovereignty issue that is between China and Tibet.

Tibet empire has been controlled and conquered by China hundreds of years ago and based on the Chinese empirical ruling policy, we do not interfere the nomads that roam on the remote Tibetan area. Instead they would act as a state just like any state in U.S.A. and contribute tax and donations each year to the Chinese empire that rule the inland. We did respect their spiritual leader and this agreement has always been in place. They were not allowed to invade any territory with in the Chinese border and the Chinese empire would in turn protect them from other tribes who didn't enter this treaty with Chinese empire, or foreign invaders.

This continued to modern China where the current Chinese government allowed the spiritual leader's spiritual guidance as long as they do not disrupt peace and Chinese sovereignty. Other than that, they are free people. But too bad they weren't up for the peace and as a nation, we will not tolerate treason and riot.

I am sorry if that sounded so Communism. But that has nothing to do with Communist. Just remember how we Americans, got California, Hawaii, Alaska, what happened to the Indians, Blacks and other minority who struggled for decades for equality. Should Mexico government ask for California back, people would just laugh at this idea.

Just most recently, the Absolute Vodka campaign which suggested that in an Absolute world of Mexico's heritage, half of America would be still owned by Mexico. OH dear lord no, this ad generated so much protest that the vodka's parent company had to pull the ad immediately.

Just imagine a Hawaiian royal requires Hawaii's independence and supersession from U.S.A., demanding their own constitution and sovereignty, and during this process, disrupt all local peace, start rioting, protesting with violence, you think American Federal Government would just watch? Arrest will be made and people would be killed. Is that human rights issue? Fuck no.

For people who do not understand Chinese history can simply blindly accuse China for human rights violation and think Tibet should be independent as it wishes. It is simply not like that. I am sorry that 1.x billion Chinese in China right now do not only believe that Tibet is, has always been, and will always be part of China, just like Taiwan, but also STRONGLY support the government's action. Myself included. I am sorry that they don't like that but that is how it is going to be. China will become the next super power and share the power struggle with America and Russia in the world. It is a fact. Its leaders are now all foreign educated who are firm believers of CAPITALISM and yet wielded with the convenience of Communism political tools. The nation is maturing and with improvement on all aspects of the society, its people are only enjoying their better lives. With these, some petty protests are not going to change the mind of the vast majority of the nation. The government and its people as one have similar believes and opinions and with that Tibet will never win. It is just a fact.

It is incredible that with all these western influences and these protests and criticism, my generation of Chinese, the early twentysomes have never been more pro China in history. Maybe that is a message.

I remembered that in the 40s, Mao said that he will lead China to save the world because the world is suffering from the evil capitalists. Ironically, the Chinese couldn't even meet the basic survival needs. No food, no healthcare, and no social stability. The only thing that were plenty were political movements, which were chaotic, violent, and cruel. Yet Mao wanted to save the world.

60 years later. Chinese are busting into Forbe 500 and has one of the HIGHEST living standard in the world, yet the western world is still willing to save China despite the fact that our OWN  economy here is in a DEEP hole. We are in a war we will never win; race is still the elephant in the room, and gays are treated like 3rd class citizens behind the racial minorities, etc... i am not sure who we should save first. Other people or ourselves? GET A GRIP , reality check people.

You get what you paid for

I flip flopped the training schedule with my lovely trainer N 3 times throughout the day. Every time he picked up, he sounded as energetic as one can be. I felt really bad. But a portion of my muscle on the right side of my torso has been bothering me. It is a condition that started in my late college years. Seems that it was caused by prolonged period of sitting with bad postures. But I couldn't be sure, maybe it is something more dreadful... I will have to write another entry, which would be really dark, to explain what the more dreadful possibility is... So I decided to take today easy and told him to pull the session, which means I get charged, and we will just do the actually training sometimes later this week. 

Besides, Kee called me and asked me to check out her potential trainers. She works out at the 24 hour fitness gym located at Foothill, for those of you live near Pasadena area would know. She's been bugging me for a while about going and I have been pushing it off. But today I guess there was nothing better to do, so I might just as well check it out. Besides I can still do my cardio. 

We arrived... I wish that was the end of the story. But nope. Ok this place sucks balls. It smelled and lighting was like from the SAW's torture chambers, only two shades whiter. I know it was my hallucination but I swear I felt like the florescent light bulb was flickering above my head while I was running on the treadmill.  The ceiling around the cardio area was extremely low. Since my torso has been bugging me the whole day, I really wanted to stretch. One upper cut move almost knocked the light bulb off the ceiling. So I just didn't want to get more distracted with all these high end decor, I started jogging. For a brief moment, well 20 mins, I was lost in my struggle with the time. However, once finished, I was drawn back to this "gym".  There were a few cute guys, however, only fell loosely in 3 categories, 

1. barely legal high school seniors or community college freshman.

The fresh full face of pimples were like his ID cards. If he were anything but the above category, he needs to go find a good dermatologist asap. 

2. Rednecks. Redneck is like a profession. It takes a lot to just be a redneck I think. But redneck is usually kinda hot. They kinda elude the idea of mind blowing fuckings, especially those high powered ones, like how they would pick you up and fuck you against a wall and you will cum without ever touching the floor? yeah..

3. Young professionals. Not Yuppies. I think they look like sales. I usually see that kinda body on those kinda guys at a car dealership. 

Anyways... I did run into a coworker which was kinda weird. Considering how cocky he talks, in a way, I would imagine his ego would suffocate to death in this place. But he looked happy. 

So I ended up training Kee. She is a skinny girl but apparently with extremely high body fat %. Several exercises already made her cry. So we stopped right there. She, under my instruction, was the only girl in the weight room doing good exercises, which was kinda cool. Oh yeah the weight room smelled like old and chilled sweat. But I promise you that you will not smell it anymore after 40 mins. yes it does take that long. Chilled sweat is like chilled liquor, the taste is much more long lasting and pleasant in its own right.

I guess I started bitching a bit. Kee said "you get what you pay for". I was just glad I was there on a visiting pass to check out her potential trainers, which never happened. Indeed. My gym isn't too far away from this place. It is located on the second floor of Paseo Plaza and this branch is actually considered the shittiest branch in entire LA by this chain. Even then, it is clean, usually wealthy professions work out over there, a bit gayer, and hotter trainers. Yes they also provide unlimited towels. 

But sometimes, I think about how much I spend on my gym and what I really get, it doesn't really make sense either. I mean if we really look at this, we are just lifting weights. I would lift milk cartons at home. Those Costco sized plastic ones are pretty heavy you know. But does unlimited towels, cleaner environment, better views, a shit load of plasma TVs and cooler crowds justify the 6 folded price tag. Or is it just a mid life crisis validator. Since it is a gym, it is health related, I can get ripped off to be pretentious and feel great about it. I don't know. I always wanted to quit this gym but after I visited the Foothill branch of 24 Fitness, I suddenly realized how spoiled I was already with the condition at my gym. Working out after a 10 hours day is already as hard as it is; working out in a shit hole after 10 hours working is just self torture. I guess I can't quit my gym anytime soon... that is almost for sure. Now I can only find a good reason to kiss my trainer goodbye for a cheaper one. Maybe that new Joe I mention about before... he is new so he must be cheap. For his price tag I can get almost two times more training!!! darn... but I don't think Joe would let me feel his abs and flirt with him with anal sex "innuendos". Yes believe it or not I could be subtle sometimes. oh well in my own world anyway.  

A different point of view

I generally like CNN. But I don't like how it is covering the news in Tibet. But I can't blame them. Compared to their report on the Chinese hackers, this one at least appeared to be somewhat impartial. Again that is after the hard facts of how the riot really happened, they couldn't do anything but report the impartial truth. I like how they say that in Iraq, trust and truth are all relative. What they do not realize is that it applies everywhere.

The current western view of Chinese government's censorship has been pretty consistent - China is one of the worst offender of human rights in the entire world. The new human rights report that has been published by the U.S. government ranked China in the top spots. As Bush would say, we, the good doers would have to save these people from their suffering. What is ironic is that the same kind of mentality and almost exact same kind of words have been wielded as the political means to justify the Communist regime by Mao. Yes that didn't happen for Mao. Mao couldn't lead his Communist party and went around the world to save people from suffering but his failure has many layers. The flaws in the Communism ideology for one, and the blind philosophical crusade was probably the actual cause of the fall of China in modern history. 

The world is connected yet segregated, much like our country the United States. People really need more understanding and need less judgement. We all respect human lives, however, as a nation, we ought to respect its sovereignty and ideology as well if not more. Maybe it is my collective utilitarianism renders my way of thinking. But I think this collective utilitarianism is very universal and very human. It is this very idea that enabled our troops to serve in Iraq for reasons that are not in serious doubts. So I think I have a lot of ground to say that a nation's stability is more important than a lot of issues, such as the relative truth of human rights issues in Tibet. 

What I do not understand is that so many people, either naive or clueless, are so ready to judge other people or other nation simply because they didn't do certain things in certain ways at certain time. Well there is a good reason behind a lot of things that you have no clues about. I mean just apply the standard regarding human rights from America to America 100 years ago, I am sure America would also be one of the worst offender of human rights in history. The point is that Chinese Empire has fallen and people have revolutionize the nation with new ideas and formed new government. Yet it fell again in World War II. The neighbor nation, Japan, way smaller than China almost succeeded the invasion. At one point it had controlled up to 80% of the territories in China with its military forces. When the Chinese won World War II, basic survival was in question. Then there was the civil war and when that was over, it was Mao's philosophical crusades against the Capitalism. Also, that hatred toward Capitalism wasn't from some sudden light bulb that went off in fanatic leader, it also had its histories and reasons, which I won't talk about. So when the Chinese finally had good enough environment to not to STARVE to death as the biggest and poorest nation in the world just about 60 years ago, the first thing on their mind was definitely not about media censorship. And let me tell you this, if anyone or anything in China that risks to jeopardize the stability that came with millions who died or suffered through the war, post war reconstruction, and the cultural revolution, the Chinese government will oppress it, and by the contrary to the Western world's believe, even with the full coverage of the incidents, even with the deaths tolls, the majority of the nation will fully support the actions taken by a landslide. That will definitely be true for the incident that is going on Tibet. 

Another point of view that sounds extremely alien and orthodox and brainwashed and yet it is really the truth, or at least the relative truth that the West and the East will never have a fair dialogue regarding this issue. 

Also see this post by MSTP Bound. 

Score again

First of all thank you for the comments!

Well Guess WHAT! I got rear ended on Friday morning on my way to work. Yes! IT is me Against the World now!!! Bring it on bitches. Maybe it is time for me to pick a faith, Jesus Mary Buddha Santa Clause Eastern Bunny, help me!!!

Luckily, there was no damage. I am now just screaming at people who crash into me and they seem to be either confused or just intimidated. They probably didn't really talk to me all that much because I appeared to be psycho.

Friday went fairly quickly because I had a company outing thing. We went to a really nice park and had fried chicken, fries, coke, and pies. I had the first 3 items and they were so good. I haven't had any of those for a freaking long time. Fat does taste better!

--

Worked out super hard with my cute trainer and had good time just being stupid and really working hard. I bought Muscle Milk according to his advice and I hope this shit can pack me additional 20 lbs so I can whore myself around much easier.

After working out I went to Jumba Juice and Vitamin World and on my way out I started talking to this old guy. Then we just had a conversation for 30 mins on the street like that. He wasn't going to ask me to have sex with him for money. No, I wish since I kinda need extra money for my insurance but that wasn't the case. Instead we just talked about working out, career path and a bit economy and China. I know boring shit. However, it was pretty interesting and it was a very genuine event. I think it was genuine because we just had a conversation that went really well. We had something in common to share. Some subjective social observation if you will. I don't think people do this kinda things anymore, much less in L.A. at least. So that was kinda interesting and random. I enjoyed it anyway.

---
Ok the following is the boring stuff, so please skip if you really have nothing else to do, like jackoff and stuff you know.

Came home for dinner and mom said that she went to this very unique restaurant in China last week. China has 1.6 billion people and they are known for their food. So in order to stand out in China in the eatery business you really have to be creative nowadays thus we have all these themed restaurants. That seems to be all the rage nowadays. The one that she went to feature the theme from the 1960s during the 10 years long Culture Revolution of the Mao's years.

For those of you who have no idea about that (or history in general for that matter, lol just kidding), it was a tough time for anyone to endure. The country went through this social, cultural and political movement that shook every single individual's world. People became crazy and the whole general environment had a striking resemblance of the novel "1984". Though it was the toughest 10 years that many many Chinese endured. A lot of memories, the good or the bad still linger. People simply cannot forget that. Quoting from the promo slogan for the new PBS WWII documentary "The War", "It is impossible and immoral to forget that". People from my parents' generation sure cannot forget but the horror, chaos, and revolution that forever changed 1 billion people have lost its power in our generation. It past on as stories, legends and eventuall became myths. That is how we could have this Cultural Revolution themed restaurant. People are singing and dancing in the fashion that you could only find during that time. They wore the Mao outfit. The restaurants were covered in broken bricks and fliers printed in cheap colored paper. Instead of being chaotic and horrifying, it was surprisingly festival for the patrons. The restaurant is a hit in Beijing, the capital of China and people had to make reservation at least a day prior to their visit.

My mom said the show was great and it was unique. However, I just felt kinda bad. It is one thing that you have enough heart and humor to look at the sad and tragic pasts with a comical approach. It is however kinda offensive to capitalize it on a surface level for the shear shocking value. I mean it is perfectly fine here, I mean it is the America, people only react to shocks now. But in a country, which is still young at its modern development of entertainment business, it is kinda disturbing that they already went there. It is like you make a WWII themed restaurants featuring poison gas chambers. I am sure the Jews aren't laughing.

They lost touch with reality. The restaurant is a mere ghost of the surface of that devastating past. In a way it is reinterpreting history and the current generation is even less concerned with what just went terribly wrong only 50 years ago. For people who have endured that to enjoy these is totally beyond me. AND THEY DO. I guess they haven't suffered enough or they just really want to move on. Turning a blind eye. I mean ignorance is after all the most powerful tool that one is born with. Right?

What do people actually see in this video

Call me a cynic, a bastard, or normal, opportunistic, I don't care. But I think people may actually see different things in this touching clip.

For me, it is touching and has received much care and attention from the editors is because supposedly he is a person who is a bit of deformed, looking kinda retarded, having a not so glamorous life and yet can sing kinda well. "Gasp" yeah, how shitty do I sound, how LA am I? But really isn't this why the video got so much editing? I mean if you look at American Idol, the Monkey boy only got a mocking monkey comment that was it. Not much editing. Things that are valuable will sell for good ratings and this is an classic Hunch Back of the Notre Dame story for pop TV.

It is beautiful, it is tragic, and it is good TV. If it were Jason Lewis who sang like that, Simon would probably have just said pretty good and move on. The whole story telling, the stereo button starting, and the audiences' detailed expression capturing, all seem to be just too much for what it is. The only reason it is gaining so much attention from the editors and the audiences for is because this is an actual tragedy. It makes us emotional. We wonder how wonderful it COULD have been if he were good looking, how much better his life would have become, and at the same time it makes us feel good too. We invoke our own sympathy that has been deeply buried by our fast paced life style and progressive selfishness. We can only feel humanity while we watch something tragic happens despite how we mocked or ignore the issue. Quick example, Princess Diana or 9/11. We are happy that we still have a heart; we aren't as barbaric as we suspected to be. At the peak of this glorious moment of self righteousness, we also feel the beauty of this happy moment, this double sugar coated pill can't be any better.

I am genuinely happy for this man, for his voice and his exposure. Yet I feel bad because the money that the producer, editors, and directors are making off his personal tragedy is so little compared to the loss of integrity. In another word, he's been sold cheap in a freak show by some cold hearted bastards and the audience bought it. And GUESS WHAT, this is probably the best he can ever get professionally speaking.

The reason that I am ranting about this now at this god forsaken hour is because I just read this post at Nothing Golden Stays. JR's friend said that JR is not emotional. But I think it might be because that he tends to let logic go first and leave emotions a step behind so that he actually sees what is behind this?

The first time I have seen this video I truly felt like crying too. But today when I watched it again totally out of randomness, I suddenly found it so repugnant since my logic was alert and my emotion has been already paralyzed by all the expected twists and turns in the video.

I wonder what other people see in this video? Just a good singing? or a guy who has a boring job, tough life is singing great? or like what I see, a socially handicapped person has been used like a fish lure?

Now, I wonder what other people have seen in this video.

I present Jason Lewis

Academic prison

This is no shocker in China but it is just almost unbelievable for me. I personally do not think I have the capability of doing this but I guess once a person is locked up in this academic prison, he/she can do a lot more than what seems to be impossible.

I am talking about a local boarding school. The school is located in a somewhat remote area near the city. It is about 40 mins drive from my uncle's home. The school is literally built at a corner of the city since it is surrounded by a very big mountain from 3 directions. The one open direction faces a newly built road. We went there last night to pick up some review material for my cousin. The school, which was still under construction in the front gate looked like a black gaping hole that would devour everything and store its prey in its mountain belly. It looked almost like mythical creatures and the mountain eerily stood behind the school and watching over the little human beings passing by. The whole thing was just creepy and the place just felt chilling despite the fact that the air was warm and humid.

I got bit like 3 times by mosquitoes. The bugs here were skilled and persistent. They wouldn't back off or give up just because you strutted your arms like a chicken and hope that they would leave you alone. No. That is not going to happen. They would learn your strutting pattern and find a place that you apparently neglected and bite the shit out of you. Now they are itchy. I am scratching, hard. ARggggg...

Anyways, this is how the school works.

It is a high school. High school means a three years grueling journey toward college. In addition, high school also means National College Entrance Exam. There is a committee setup every year and the members of this committee are usually locked up for several months to design the problems in this exam. The exam covers 5 main subjects, literature, English, chemistry, physics, and combination. Combination is a mix of geography, history, political science, common chemistry and physics. Tests are spread over 3 days period and lasts about 2 hours each day.

Unlike the American system, your future here solely depends on the entrance exam. So, you have to know the questions, answer them fast, and you can't be nervous. Otherwise you can just kiss your future and your dignity goodbye.

Given the crazy condition, special measures have to be taken in the preparation of this exam. For this reason, local boarding schools come into existence. The students are literally locked up in the school 5-6 days a week and only be allowed to go home on weekends or just Sundays. 99% of the time school sends its students back to their homes using their school buses so that the students would not be able to go to any other places. For safety measures of course but also it helps to discipline weak parents who would tempt the students with delicious food or extra home time etc. School provides four bedroom suite, 3 meals, and a snack store on campus for its students. Even though it is co-ed, girls and boys are separated in their dorms. All students are required to wear uniform as long as they are on school premise.

Here is the schedule for the students at least for the Seniors since they are going to take the big test soon theirs is a little bit tougher than others:

6:30am wake up
7:00-7:30am morning exercise
7:30-8:00am breakfast
8:00-8:30am arrive classroom and study on their own
8:30-9:30am 1st period & 10 mins break (always 10 mins between each class)
9:30-10:30am 2nd period & break
10:30-11:30am 3rd period & break
11:30-1:00pm lunch and free time
1:00-2:00pm 4th period & break
2:00-3:00pm 5th period & break
3:00-4:00pm 6th period & break
4:00-5:00pm 7th period & break
5:00-6:30pm dinner and free time
6:30-7:00pm TV time, according to my cousin they watch political news.
7:00-8:00pm 8th period & break
8:00-9:00pm 9th period & break
9:00-10:30pm 10 period and study
10:30-11:30pm back to dorm
11:30pm lights out

You can petition for 12:00am lights out if you need to study more but you have to submit your petition beforehand.

This is how these people study and they have done second year college materials already. Because lots people's parents needed to work while they were young, their parents would fake their birth certificate dates in order to let them go to elementary school one or two years earlier. So a good % of these super kids are only 16 years old.

The school is literally out of no where, surrounded by mountains and the community has nothing but poor people who have no education or good jobs, is imprisoning these people according to their will. The prisoners are determined. Some of them are happy and driven to be here some of them are apparently forced to be here. Either way their emotions do not stand in the way. It is their revolution. Imprisoned, yes, brainwashed, maybe. But it is their choice. It is what it takes to be on top I guess.

It is overwhelming. I don't know if it is sad since I can't criticize it based on my environment. That won't be fair. But I am speechless nevertheless. I really do not know what to think.

Random things

I went lazy a bit and only updated a lame video but then I felt like I had more to say, so I am gonna just say things in different categories.

Update 1:
Retards.




This is just sad. I mean, the Christian Fundamentalists should kill these people secretly since they make the evil empire look dumb. I like the second guy who couldn't put an entire sentence together. I am sure Falwell is so pissed that he is rolling in his grave now.

How do people become so blind? how could they allow themselves to be so brainwashed. Man DO I APPRECIATE university education. At least I could do some critical thinking on my own.

These people are so stupid that I think it is funny. I am also relieved. With people like this in our path, this war would end soon. Equality for all is not that far away now.


Update 2
Long conversation

Well the long conversation happened because everyone was depressed and tired. I know, it was strange. Well this morning I was awaken by my dad's endless rant about how the new modem for our company's internet has arrived that I should go there and set it up immediately. It was 9:30am and I worked on the stupid windows vista problem till 3 the night before. So after a brief screaming contest, he left and I woke up. Grumpy but wide awake for sure. So I contacted dell support and the problem wasn't resolved. I had to leave around 11:30am to catch a lunch with a formal Disney coworker. It was a great lunch. Saw some old Disney people and made chit chat. My friend and I apparently aggressively tried to recruit her away from Disney hahaha... Then I went to Hookah and at the same time worked on the windows vista issue with my friend. I called dell support and entered another long conversation which started out with one dissatisfied customer and ended with a screaming enraged customer who threw profanity left and right. Yes I was an asshole, and trust me they deserved it, too. Ok I guess Dell multi billion loss/effort on customer service just went to the toilet and yes their CEO was useless and that strategy SUCKED. So then after all this, I rushed back home to see Spiderman 3 with another friend. Rushed was a bit exaggerated since I-5 had three accidents and it wasn't moving. A trip that would normally take me 30 mins took me about 2.5 hours to complete. I finally arrived at the theater at 6:30pm.

Spiderman 3 was ok. I felt that many scenes were trying a bit too hard. I mean it has never been good if the audiences laugh at scenes that are supposed to be serious and sad. However, I guess that was just for some people. My friend cried at the same scene where others were laughing. God girls... Sorry for the slight bit of sexism but oh girls...

Then I went home tired... But I was determined to fix the windows vista problem. After a system restore it actually worked... Then I was happy. But then I realized that I lost my windows vista backup CDKEY. I must have left that cd envelope at the Hookah place. FUCK ME...

The day has just been really long till now. Then I went into my parents room saw my dad talking on the phone. That was when it got heavy. One of my aunt was hospitalized for heart attack. She was released later but she told us that her heart rate was like 20beats/min at one point. Jesus FUCK MAN, that is pretty insane. More bad new continued. The husband of my second aunt had prostate cancer and it had spread all over his body and penetrated his bone marrow. So basically he is a big cancer organ now. They don't think that he can survive much longer and he decided to go back to his hometown and bid farewell to his older family members. Tragic... Then my youngest aunt collapsed at home from exhaustion. See, my grandma had a stroke a couple years ago and half of her body paralyzed since then. My youngest aunt is one of those very traditional Chinese who would be so caring for her parents that she would put their healthy before hers at any given time.

The entire tragic fiasco came out of no where and just hit me like that. I wasn't so shocked by the diseases that they caught per se. I mean seriously everyone including the victims expected these outcomes somewhat either consciously or subconsciously. I mean the years of bad habits and life style, on top of that, how they struggled and prioritized materialistic problems in their lives finally caught up with their health. I remember when I visited home two years ago, I could already see that some of them were already half way through the death's door. It was simply a given.

What hit me hard was that, my generation has finally reached this point where my older generation starts to peace out. It is a long, painful, and inevitable process. So my mom was tearing up. More so for their fate and how helpless that each generation feels when the older ones are dying in front of their eyes. Then she didn't think she was a good daughter etc. I said lots stuff and many points were scattered around. To make long story short, I made a list of stuff I said to both of my parents:

1. Live your own life. If you have to focus, focus on the later generation because you can only do so much for the old. I said this because my mom didn't think she was a good daughter. Well I want to tell her that she can only do so much before the old people just get so old that it is really in god's hand at certain point. (I use the term god loosely, mainly to the extent of fate, in a spiritual way) There is no point on dwelling what you haven't done because there will be a million things that you always think that you could have done but didn't. We cant live in regrets. Just do the best we can at this time within our ability. I mean seriously, we can only do so much when there is a giant ocean separating the families.
2. Please take care of your own bodies because if any of you dies it'd be a very hard thing to deal with for all of us. An ordeal and no less, a good 5-8 years at least. See my parents are pretty progressive and I always say that we should think things through beforehand. Including death. My mom has been having some problem with her liver and my dad has been struggling with high blood pressure. Also my grandpa died from colon cancer and my dad is approaching my grandpa's age when he died. It was all very scary to think about and quite depressing to talk about at the same time. But I think it was important to talk about it. Once I touched the subject and leaving it in the open, my parent would tend to have more courage to think about it and actually do something about it. I told my dad if mom dies he would just collapse physically and mentally. I told him that despite that he might be denying this but the truth was that he has no mental or physical capacity or capability to handle any kind of pressure nowadays. He has just never been good at it anymore once he got older. He didn't even deny it. It was good to talk about actually. For the first time, I didn't see my dad being ignorant. He wasn't in denial in some of the important issues and that was very important.
3. They should be happy about what they have and stop stressing over their business. After all health and happiness are really the things they would relish not just on deathbed but throughout their lives. They agreed and they thought that I shouldn't get into a field where it would become too competitive. I compared their lives with my dad's sibling's lives. I mean the three aunt's lives I mentioned above. After the comparison it wasn't that hard to see that we still had a lot even though we might be stressed out sometimes here and there. I think once we had this talk, they really felt a bit relieved and for that I am relieved as well.

Those were the main points that I thought it was the key. We also mentioned about career things but those were just kind of old talks that we have been having since the beginning of time.

The conversation seriously lasted about 3 hours and I was really glad we did it. My dad and I aren't what you would call "buddies". So this is really once on a blue moon kinda event. It was actually really really good. A bit surprising and I think most importantly we touched some great issues that hopefully raised more concern regarding THEIR well-beings. They need to stop worrying about me now. They told me that all they want for me is that I have a good education, a stable job, a decent living and most importantly, doing all these to achieve the ultimate goal, to just be happy. That is all they want. I sincerely believe what they say even though they may give me lots unwanted pressure. However, I really wish that they could still say the same thing when one day I tell them that I am gay.

Update 3
Trip.

Another reason that we are all kinda stressed out lately is because my mom and I are going to China for both business and pleasure for a month. We are leaving next Tuesday. Yes, that is exactly why I have been a bitch screaming at Dell people since I would never imagine a crappy computer made from a crappy manufacturer can't even last long enough for a business trip.

Update 4
60 Mins on Sexual Orientation
60 Mins on Gay.
Thanks Towleroad.com for the clip collection.

Anyways, this post is getting out of hand. See ya

Ex-gay Boston Legal

I don't know why I still haven't been following the show because I apparently love the show. Every single episode will bring a great current event, social subject, or philosophical discussion, that makes me think a lot. I saw this episode about two weeks ago and I absolutely LOVED it. After watching the following segment I was so inspired and excited that I could shout. Only if people in the government could see it this way.

A letter to my professor

This is actually my first time I felt something that is strong enough to motivate me to write a letter like this to a professor. Brief information,

The class - Strategic Management
The Prof - Sandy Green Jr. Phd/Master from Harvard Business School
The point - I feel refreshed and inspired by the teacher's knowledge, charisma, and style.

I came from a traditional education background and my teacher who impacted me profoundly when I was little already taught us the importances of self-discipline and money! Supposely I should do a lot more and a lot better at USC. But I am not. I got too tired of all these asshat superfacial shit and eventually I am just like, fuck it. Now I think that is a mistake because that shut down some doors for me when graduation is only a couple months away. Regret? A little bit. Sad? A little bit. Desperate? No. I still believe in my own legacy and I will see how this pans out. I think my dreams got a bit more realistic everytime I go to his class. And I feel that Universities, especially places like USC that charges so much money for education and claims to be elite school should really review their hiring policy. I am sure those Russian rocket/chemical scientists are very smart and good at what they do. But I just don't think they should be professors in business school even for undergraduates. People and their minds are the most important assets in the world. I don't need some slides readers to tell me how to do discounted cash flows. Young people need inspiration and critical thinking the most and I think this is what USC is lacking tremendously in their business school right now. There are some brilliant minds but not enough to really make our money worth while.

I wrote following passage to the teacher. I think at this point of my life I can truly say what is on my mind and not to worry if I sound like an ass or crazy. Hopefully he will see what I am truly talking about instead of skimming it through because that would be kinda disappointing.

Hi Prof. Green,

This is DL from your 4-6pm class. I participate in the class but you have never addressed me by my name, so I am not sure if you remember who I am. Anyway, this is not why I email you. I don't know how to put this, but I think I should write this to you when I still feel strongly enough about it to write to you. I am sure you get this a lot. But I really like your class a lot. The only other class that has inspired me was a philosophy class by Dr. Willard. The class made me really think about the professionals, especially professionals like us, how these individuals are privileged and have the duty to help the society. We as a professional group has a social responsibility. I was truly inspired and actually really got into it. Then I went to Marshall School of Business and Leventhal Accounting School. Most of the professors are more technical and less social. Of course, as you know, a lot of them are slide readers. I am not writing this to vent about how I disliked some of the professors since I know for a fact that they are highly intelligent individual and much wiser than I am. However, I want to point out that due to whatever reasons, I feel a bit stirred every time I go to your class.

I like your charisma and I like your point of view. Maybe that is why I am willing to defer my opinions to your professional knowledge and experiences. But what I like about your class the most is how you talk about what we can do and why we have a responsibility. You do this without being overly preaching. Some of the points you talk about in the class resonate with me completely and it is still good to know that what we are doing is still important. Sad to say that after being in USC for 3 years, I actually got a bit discouraged and more apathetic about a lot of stuff happening around me. I just think that the general education environment is just that, a bit discouraging and apathetic. Again, I am sure a lot of the teachers are great at what they are teaching but I think it is not the University's responsibility to only pass along the knowledge. I am sure most of the people in the class can learn a lot of material on their own just fine. This is why I get discouraged and apathetic. I imagined to be highly inspired and motivated by the teachers before I came here. I haven't seen that much at all. I haven't seen many socially wise minds. Maybe because they don't teach strategy or maybe they don't really care, I don't know. I am sure I probably sound like a brat but a lot of people around me feel the same way. Especially in accounting school, what eventually comes down to is how and when we can land that auditing/tax job that pays over 45k - 50k starting.

My friend and I are planning to have our own business and every time I go to your class, the urge gets stronger. I think that is a good thing. Just like you discussed in class before, my ultimate goal in life is also to leave my name behind somewhere and make some sort of changes to the people around me in a positive way. Of course I also love how you get down to the business and emphasize the importance of money. I just feel that my goal is somewhat validated and sounding less naive or typical when I am in your class.

I am writing a lot and feeling that my points are getting blurred. I am NOT writing this to praise your class per se. I think what I am trying to say is that I feel some validation and I really appreciate your effort. I think there are only several, probably less than 4 teachers made me feel that they actually cared just that little bit more in my entire stay in USC. This may sound really bad, but I think if we had more teachers like you, especially in the business school where the mind is the most important asset, I would have done much better academically. Many occasions when I am in your class, I feel like I have wasted so much time and money over the years because I don't know a lot of stuff. I definitely have to take most of the responsibilities of this outcome but I truly feel that the general environment is to make us capable of going somewhere and become the best 9-5 livestock out there. If we had more teachers like you, I would probably be more willing to read the Wall Street Journals or Barons since I know someone out there is also reading it and willing to discuss. There were times when I read a lot and ended up sharing the information and discussions with a wall. Ok, I didn't actually talk to a wall, but my thoughts weren't appreciated and felt wasted. Students concern more about parties, tests, and recruitings at the end and teachers care more about beating the class schedules (surprisingly half of them couldn't even do just that). It is great that in my last semester here at USC, my mind is being refreshed again.

I hope I didn't come off as confusing or ass-kissing since that is truly not my intention. I just felt strongly that I need to express these points and I hope our school can seriously tighten up their recruiting on the students and the teachers. Again thank you very much for the classes. Also, I would like it a lot more if you can actually call on me more when I am trying to answer a question with my hand up in the air for 3 mins. I seriously think that you are avoiding my hands now. There are many times that my answer matched your answer exactly and I feel that my precious bonus points are robbed. Again, my name is David Li and I usually sit in the front and you probably think I am high in the class sometimes since my rare muscle disease renders my eye half paralyzed most of the time.

Sincerely,

DL

P.S. god the stupid javascript messed up. After sending it, I realized that my long paragraphs have been cut off at a random word in the middle of no where. It made look like a retard! Then I have to write another email explaining this so I wouldn't sound like a retard. AWKWARD, I am sure he is thinking that I am a retard now. beh... damn it

Our language

First of all, thanks Tim from Italy for talking to me. Talking to Tim is always smooth. I feel like I can say anything. I don't know. Tim is older than I am, so I guess it is the wisdom comes with experiences and age? I am not sure. But every time we always have a good conversation. I just wish that we could talk longer. One of us always has to go at some point ha ha.

This morning we casually talked, and a very interesting topic was brought up.

The conversation started with I describing how people communicate differently based on their age. I just met someone in school. He is a straight-acting gay and he is much younger than I am. He is a Freshman at USC, which means he is 18 years old. I am 23 and he is 18. In my mind, I still think 18, 20, 23 whatever, no biggie. But when I REALLY think about it. OMG, I am 5 years older than he is and that is 50% of 10 years and 25% of 20 years. That is very scary. He is much more energetic. His energy is very original. You know the difference between the "I wake up high, great day dude, damn I am awesome" and the "Today is Thursday, just 1 more day I can go to a bar finally, I hope people don't fuck it up somewhere so I have to work extra hours, I wonder how many floating vacation days I have left...but Friday is almost here yeay!"... I tested him, and he would text me super long texts with endings of "woooopppyyy" with all that extra Os, Ps, and Ys. I don't know, I really feel old. So I complained about this to Tim. He said that well, that is interesting because how our language evolved.

Tim believes that language is a medium of communication and as our society becomes more fast-paced each day, our language is forced to adapt. A lot of conventional use of words and sentences will become a dominant trend and eventually become our language norm.

I personally do not agree. I think language is more than mere communication. Each language is unique and each language possesses its own literature and history. I believe that current technology is a deterioration to our language and literature. We all use it. For example, thx, 2night, str8, <3,>. For those of you who have Detail magazine, you probably have read the artcile regarding this issue. The vast use of blackberry literature is poisoning people's senses. Little by little I really think people will not be able to tell which one is formal writing anymore.

Tim brought up an argument saying that Shakespeare's language was their blackberry literature and it was widely celebrated. However, it is still hard to read for people today because language progresses based on human's needs for efficiency. What works faster prevails. I agree to a certain degree. The biggest problem of his argument is that Shakespeare's language was English and we still use English, though differently, by its literature rules. Words such as thx 2morow violate the English rule. Unless we change the fundamental rules of certain language, usage of these words or similar sentences should never be used in formal writings and it should never become our norm. Shakespeare did not misspell English for the common folks to hear his plays. His style was informal, not his language or literature.

I don't know. I think it is kind of interesting so I posted this open for discussion! haha.

I just wrote a response to Snicker Candy

The topic came up at our U-rap (one of the gay organizations on USC campus) meeting. About 9 people showed up. It was great. I got to see bunch new people and made friends with them. I was happy. Anyways, the topic of stereotype came up and I used the Snicker commercial to make my point. Half people haven't seen it yet so I explained what it is. If you haven't, check the shiteous commercial out on youtube.

Basically I think Sneaker has gone the wrong direction on this one. It is supposed to one of those fucked up traditions -- the lame gay humor. But this one offended FOUR types of audiences across the country.

1st offense: The obvious target here--gay community. Two guys kissed and according to Sneaker, it is gross and unmanly. So they guys had to immediately do something manly to prove their masculinity. There are just too many things wrong here I am sure any of you can bust out a good argument to blast Snicker's misstep here.

2nd offense: The community that they are favoring -- straight community. They are trying to say that you can do something that is gay for your interest and love, in this case, a dumb sneaker bar, but as long as you keep it straight it is all good. The theory itself is just so stupid. If you do something gay and you aren't gay, you would just brush it off. If masculinity is what they are trying to portray and advertise, then they really hit a sour note. Isn't being self-confident and assured the biggest part of being masculine? Real guys should have NO DOUBTS about themselves. That is what we are taught when we are young and that is the basis for their stupid commercial! If that is the case, then you don't have to fucking prove you ain't gay. In addition to this irony, the guys in the commercial proved to be real dudes by pulling chunks of chest hair off their chest and the screamed at each others like monkeys. OK this is just beyond any logic! So they are saying that being a brute and stupid is the only way to be masculine! How brilliant. If I were a straight guy I would not fucking laugh at this shit at all. So either I am a queer or a dumb ass according Snicker. What were they thinking!!!

3rd offense: kids. A lot of kids watched super bowl. If they are straight, they will of course do something like ew gross due to the norm. If they express that it is OK to kiss and still be manly, their parents would probably butt in. If the kids are gay, just imagine what this stupid fucked up ad would do to their self-image??? And the parents, how should the parents react to it? Do they laugh or not. Do they condemn this behavior or tell their kids that Sneaker is a bunch of asses? I think it makes it very difficult for the parents to confront the homosexual subject with an appropriate way. Have Snicker boards got no brains? How could they approve this thing is beyond me.

4th offense: the professionals. I mean professionals as people who have referral powers. Others would defer their opinions to the people who have authority and power. Since professionals, let it be businessmen, doctors, writers, lawyers, and engineers etc, have such profound effects in our society, they need to be responsible for what they do! As my reply to a post from About a boy and his briefs states, people who have power need to be held accountable. People who have power need to have devil's advocates so that they don't fall into group sink. People who have power have social duties! There are consequences after each action from people who lead others. It is a great shame that these professionals tossed out their integrity and social duties for some cheap laugh. Sure they wanted some cheap humors and hopefully we can get their drift. NO!!! it is not 200 years ago. We don't find lynch funny anymore and we don't find any attacks to any community disguised as humor funny anymore. It is so outrageous that an international company can be so god damn stupid.

anyway.... rant off beh

If you got two cows

I just read this thing and it is kinda funny. I am sure there is a lot of things like this out there, but cows just sound better

Traditional Company -
You've got two cows, so you sell one and then purchase a bull with money. From there you will raise a herd of cows and start to make profits. At the end you sell all of them and happily retire.

American Company -
You've got two cows, so you sell one and then force the other one to produce milk as much as four cows combined. When the cow exhausts to death, you are sincerely surprised by the outcome.

French Company -
You've got two cows, but you are still on strike because what you really want is three cows.

Japanese Company -
You've got two cows, so you re-engineered them so that their sizes are only 10% of what they are used to be and milk production increased by 2000%. Then you name them Cowkimon and sell the product and brand image to the entire world.

Germany Gompany -
You've got two cows, and your scientists genetically altered them so that they can live up to 100 years old, only need to be fed once a month, and they can milk themselves.

British Company -
You've got two cows, and they are all mad cows.

Italian Company -
You've got two cows, but you have no idea where they are, so you take it easy and go to brunch.

Russian Company -
You've got two cows. You count them once and realize that you actually have 5 cows. So you count again, and this time you've got 46 cows. Not convinced, you count one more time and this time you've got 12 cows. You got extremely irritated by all the number counting and confusion, so you opened up another bottle of Vodka.

Swiss Company -
You've got 5000 cows and none of them belongs to you. You earn your money by protecting these cows for the owners.

Chinese Company -
You've got two cows, and you place 300 people to milk these two cows. Publically, you claim that the reason is productivity has increased and the cows are highly efficient and at the same time try to capture the journalists who are trying to report the truth.

Indian Company -
You've got two cows, and you worship them.

Taiwan Company -
You've got two cows, and bunch of people are protesting because you are about to send one of them to mainland China. But actually one of your cows is already in mainland China.

IHOP

I haven't written much at all. Being lazy again. A lot of stuff is going on, it is hard to write them all down. Two weeks ago, Hester, Michelle and I went to IHOP around 3:00am in the morning on Sunday. We were ordering breakfast. Hester wanted a combo from the senior menu. Of course, she is not a senior and cannot order that combo. But I thought that should be fine, just order the combo at a regular price. That moment reminded a commercial on the radio. I heard this commercial several times on KIISFM. Here is how the story went: a guy went to a breakfast place and wanted two eggs with paste salsa on it, and the waitress got confused because she didn't know what that combo was on the menu. So she asked him if it were Grand Slam etc. When she didn't get the answer she wanted, she apologized for being new and asked her supervisor. The supervisor sounded fat and continued to question the guy about which combo exactly it was on the menu. Ok, the reason that I mentioned this story is because everytime I hear this commercial, I always have a stupid grin because these ladies are so dumb. I liked it because I never thought it was true. Otherwise it is just sad. However, I was wrong. When our waitress came over ask ed us what we wanted, Hester told her order. The waitress said that she cannot order sernior menu item for her. So I said that just give her the items in that combo and charge us regular price. She said that she coudlnt' because it wasn't a combo. So I said if we could just have two eggs with sausage and bacon, and she asked me which combo it was. I was just dumbfound because I really cannot believe people are actually like this in real life. Don't want to be mean or anything, but I really didn't feel bad anymore for her even she had to work at this crappy restaurant in this godforsaken hour....

People are interesting

Being gay and being a woman are the same since they both tend to disappear after 42?

I just read this quote online. Thinking about it more makes me a bit unease. This sounds kinda true. What if I don't find a partner or get married to a woman by then? Just imagine the life by then. People around you are all married with kids. What would I have? People say coming out helps a gay man. I don't find it true. I just came out to one of my good friend. She is very accepting and we talked about it for a long time on the beach of Santa Monica. There were tears and hugs. I was relieved. But at the same time, I felt that nothing really changed. Coming out to friends and family won't do much imo. I can't come out to my family but that doesn't matter much in my case. I never thought I would tell them anyway. But what if I come out to all my friends? would that suddenly be all ok? I don't think so. What makes a real difference in my life is how I feel about being gay and if I truly become true to myself, then I won't care about how other people think about me. If I dont live a gay life, it is never a true coming out for me. Coming out to friends is not coming out.

It's so late and I am tired. Tired of work, being gay, and I am afraid of disappearing from the world. I think the saddest thing can happen to one is to feel unwanted by anyone...man Justin Timberlake's CD sounds so sad. Too many songs that are a bit too blue. bah I am ranting again.

Are sex and relationship complete two different entities nowadays?

It was an interesting Saturday night. Kiki called me and wanted to go out. Tonight's theme, according to her is fancy and chill. She wanted to go out a lounge, or a bar type of place and dress up like she is gonig to a club but instead to just "chill".

Kiki is some character. IMO, her deprivation of parental guidance and love in her teenage year fused her uncontrollable lust for attention and affection, regardless it is genuine or superfacial. Apple for apple, i guess... her friends are just the same in that department. Supposely, there is one girl who is a friend of hers, have slept with 90 guys at age of 22... That is the besides the point. The point is that Kiki is in denial. She doesn't think that she is thirsty for affection and it got so bad that she is pretty much just whoring around. That is her lifestyle, and I never tell her to do anything different because she enjoys it. But, every now and then, I am just amazed how crazy she gets, and how messed up her friends are.

Kiki just got dumped by a 30 year old white guy named David who supposely was very serious with her, and of course kiki treated him like another boy toy. But this time the only difference is that unlike her previous flings, this guy was nice and serious and dumped her when she din't play the game with right rules. She was deepenly sadden... of course, that is according to her as well, she told us that she was deeply saddened.... But tonight, she is happy. She found a temporary replacement named Richie or Ricky.. this guy has a weird tongue that pronouces his own name differently everytime I ask about his name.

Kiki called me around 9:30 and asked me where we should go. My hair stylist's client owns a lounge/bar called "Bodega wine bar" which just opened up its second venue in Santa Monica. So I was thinking, why not that place. So I contact kiki and her friends and told them where to go and how to get there. By 10:30, I arrived at Paseo Plaza. Kiki is late as always. In fact, she was still driving to Bodega around that time. So I started to get to know her friend Sharon and Sergio. Sharon, who I have already known from a day at the beach and a nightout in a club, so it was easy to start talking and joking around again. Her friend Sergio is a bit Mexican and Italian. Kinda cute, but not my type, he is a bit too creamy and model wannable. He had this crazy hair on his big head, like the feathers on a cock. We started talking and drinking, and then we decided that this place sucks. Personally, I am pretty chill when it comes to places to drink or whatever, but that night Bodega even bored me a bit because the crowd was so old. So we went to Yard House which is about 50 feet away and drank there.

Kiki eventually made it around 12:30 and as soon as she arrived we decided to go back to her place for a house party again. I really hoped that I can see Tanner again, or the white chick I kinda dig. But none of those two shoed up, so we were dancing to bunch oldschool rock music in their apt. I was having fun regardless. A llot of the guys in that room seem to be gay, but nowdays, you can never tell, there are too many gentle-man out there.

I really was tired and wanted to leave, but kiki insited me on staying longer. I wish I didn't... Because around 3:00am , the drunken Sharon felt horny and decided to bone her co-worker Sergio and asked Kiki for her room. KiKi of course is in heaven for hooking people up and bone in front her. Seriously, I sometimes see life source sparkles in her eyes when she is trying to make someone fuck others. For her it is a master plan in the making. I forgot to mentino Sharon is married at age 21 for 3.5 years. Her husband named Eddy is about 26 now and they looked very happy together. They all go to separated parties here and there, and Sharon is always crazy in the club and grinding on other people in front of Eddyw cho doesn't seem to mind at all. I really admired them in the beginning because I think it is har dto hold a relationship as it is and they can forge this strong bond and have this much trust and faith in each other is so awesome. I thought Kiki would learn some from this. But I was all wrong. Sharon and Eddie either fuck their own respective sex-buddies or Sharon is just cheating on him. What kinda disgusted me was that Sharon didn't even try to hide it from anywhere.

It makes me wonder, what is going on with people nowadays, do sex even mean anything. I guess everyone has their wild side. Sure I would probably try to fuck around if timing is right, but wouldn't it make a difference if the people involved are MARRIED?

Kiki just called, and she told me not to tell anyone and they didn't do anything. Yeah right...."trust" is a myth, it was never meant to be in people's real life.